介绍:
2. OPEN BOOK
The next day was better… and worse.
It was better because it wasn't raining yet, though the clouds were dense
and opaque. It was easier because I knew what to expect of my day. Mike
came to sit by me in English, and walked me to my next class, with Chess
Club Eric glaring at him all the while; that was nattering. People didn't
look at me quite as much as they had yesterday. I sat with a big group at
lunch that included Mike, Eric, Jessica, and several other people whose
names and faces I now remembered. I began to feel like I was treading
water, instead of drowning in it.
It was worse because I was tired; I still couldn't sleep with the wind
echoing around the house. It was worse because Mr. Varner called on me in
Trig when my hand wasn't raised and I had the wrong answer. It was
miserable because I had to play volleyball, and the one time I didn't
cringe out of the way of the ball, I hit my teammate in the head with it.
And it was worse because Edward Cullen wasn't in school at all.
All morning I was dreading lunch, fearing his bizarre glares. Part of me
wanted to confront him and demand to know what his problem was. While I
was lying sleepless in my bed, I even imagined what I would say. But I
knew myself too well to think I would really have the guts to do it. I
made the Cowardly Lion look like the terminator.
But when I walked into the cafeteria with Jessica — trying to keep my
eyes from sweeping the place for him, and failing entirely — I saw that
his four siblings of sorts were sitting together at the same table, and
he was not with them.
Mike intercepted us and steered us to his table. Jessica seemed elated by
the attention, and her friends quickly joined us. But as I tried to
listen to their easy chatter, I was terribly uncomfortable, waiting
nervously for the moment he would arrive. I hoped that he would simply
ignore me when he came, and prove my suspicions false.
He didn't come, and as time passed I grew more and more tense.
I walked to Biology with more confidence when, by the end of lunch, he
still hadn't showed. Mike, who was taking on the qualities of a golden
retriever, walked faithfully by my side to class. I held my breath at the
door, but Edward Cullen wasn't there, either. I exhaled and went to my
seat. Mike followed, talking about an upcoming trip to the beach. He
lingered by my desk till the bell rang. Then he smiled at me wistfully
and went to sit by a girl with braces and a bad perm. It looked like I
was going to have to do something about Mike, and it wouldn't be easy. In
a town like this, where everyone lived on top of everyone else, diplomacy
was essential. I had never been enormously tactful; I had no practice
dealing with overly friendly boys.
I was relieved that I had the desk to myself, that Edward was absent. I
told myself that repeatedly. But I couldn't get rid of the nagging
suspicion that I was the reason he wasn't there. It was ridiculous, and
egotistical, to think that I could affect anyone that strongly. It was
impossible. And yet I couldn't stop worrying that it was true.
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