介绍:
The idea of being just friend sounded like a good one at first. I would still get to text you our inside jokes. I would still get to see you face-to-face. You would still be a part of my world, which I considered a good thing, because the thought of letting you go was too painful to handle.
“只做朋友”这个想法刚开始听起来还不错，我仍然给你发只有我们知道的梗，我也可以和你继续见面，你仍是我世界中的一部分。我认为这是好事，因为“你离开我”这件事对我来说太痛苦了。
I was wrong. Being just friends was even more difficult than walking away would have been.
我错了，“只做朋友”比接受你离开我更难。
It slowly killed me inside. Every time you told me you were out, I wondered whom you were with and whether you were on a date. Sometimes I get a sinking feeling in my stomach when you mentioned another person. Other times I would hold back from asking questions because I didn’t want to look overly concerned with your love life. After all, it was none of my business anymore.
它慢慢地将我扼杀。每次你告诉我你出门了，我都好奇你和谁在一起，和谁在约会。当你提起另一个人的名字，我感觉我身体的器官都变得沉重。有时，我会阻止自己去向你询问，我不想让自己过分去关注你的感情生活。毕竟，这已经不关我的事了。
Even though we considered ourselves friends, it didn’t feel like a typical friendship. We had to hold so much back from each other. I didn’t want to come to you with stories about crushes and seem like I was trying to make you jealous. I didn’t want to come to you with complaints about my life either and seem like I was miserable without you. I felt like I had to censor myself around you. I felt like our conversations were limited to safe topics.
尽管我们认为仍是彼此的“朋友”，但我们之间又不是平常的朋友关系，我们不得不和对方保持距离。我没办法告诉你我对别人的迷恋，好像我想让你产生嫉妒，我也不能和你抱怨我的生活，好像没了你我就过得很凄惨。在你身边，我就得审查我自己，我们的话题也仅限一些不越界的“安全话题”。
With the rest of my friends, I was free to joke around without worrying about how my actions would be interpreted. But with you, I never knew whether I was crossing a line by texting you or slapping your arm after you told a joke. I didn’t want you to wonder whether I was flirting with you, whether I still had strong feelings for you, whether I was attempting to win you back.
和其他的朋友在一起时，我可以随意地开玩笑，不必担心我的行为能否被理解。但和你在一起，我却不知道在你讲完笑话之后，回复你消息或者拍你的胳膊是否属于越界。我不想让你觉得我好像在和你调情，让你觉得好像我还对你有感觉，
好像我还想赢回你。
Maybe a part of me was hoping we would get back together. Maybe that is why I wanted to keep you close.
也许有一部分的我仍希望我们能重新在一起，也许这就是为什么我还想你与我靠近。
Every time I looked at you, I was hit with a million memories from our past. Every time your spoke, I thought about how good your lips tasted. Every time we were left alone together, I wondered whether the spark still existed. I wondered whether we should have given each other a second chance.
每当我看着你，我会被过去的许许多多回忆打动。每次你讲话的时候，我都会想起你的嘴唇有多美好。每次只有我们两个在一起，我都会好奇我们之间是否还有火花。我想知道我们是否应该给对方第二次机会。
I had trouble moving on from you because you were always around. I never had a break from you. I never had an opportunity to push you out of my mind and focus on someone else. You were a distraction.
我没办法往前走，因为你还在我身边。我没办法在你身边喘口气，也没办法将你从我脑海中剔除，去关注另一个人。你让我分心。
At first, I wanted to take the high road. I wanted to have some sort of relationship with you, even if it wasn’t a romantic one, because removing you from my world seemed unfair after everything we had been through together.
其实刚开始，我以为这是条捷径，我想以某种关系与你连接，即使不再是那种浪漫的关系，因为在我们一起经历了一切之后，把你从我的世界中驱除看似不够公平。
But it turns out that being just friends with you is not going to work. I am never going to move on from you when you are standing right in front of me.
但事实证明，我没办法与你“只做朋友”，当你站在我面前，我就永远无法向前走。
