When you love someone, you might have to make compromises. You might have to rearrange your priorities. You might have to rethink the way you want your future to look.
当你深爱一个人,你可能不得不妥协,你可能要重设你的轻重缓急,你可能不得不重新考虑你希望你未来的样子。
But loving someone doesn’t mean you give up everything for them.
但爱一个人,不代表你要为他们放弃你的所有。
You should not have to sacrifice your dreams in order to keep your relationship strong. The right person for you should support your career goals. They should be your biggest supporter. They should be standing behind you, ready to catch you when you fall and shove you back onto your feet. They should inspire you to keep trying when you are debating whether you are wasting your time. They should make you feel like you are capable of anything.
你不应该为了维系你们之间的关系而牺牲自己的梦想。如果Ta是那个对的人,Ta会支持你的事业,会是那个最支持你的人。Ta会站在你身后,在你跌倒时抓住你,支撑你。当你犹犹豫豫,不知是否只是浪费时间时,Ta应该为你鼓劲。Ta应该鼓励你可以胜任一切事情。
Loving someone does not mean you have to stop loving the parts of life that don’t involve them. You are allowed to have hobbies. You are allowed to have passions. You are allowed to have friends.
爱一个人,并不意味着你必须摒除那些Ta不感兴趣的爱好。你可以有自己的兴趣爱好,你可以拥有激情,你可以交朋友。
Your person shouldn’t push you away from your social circle. There should still be times when you get drinks with your friends from college. There should still be occasions when you grab brunch with your mother one-on-one. You should still live your own life.
你爱的Ta不应该让你远离你的社交圈,你仍然可以和大学的朋友们出去喝点东西,你仍然可以和你的妈妈出去吃个早午餐,你仍然拥有你自己的生活空间。
Loving someone does not mean you make them the center of your universe.
爱一个人,并不意味着Ta就是你宇宙的中心。
Even though you should look forward to spending time with them that does not mean you have to spend every second of your time with them. You do not have to invite them to every place you go. You are allowed to separate. You are allowed to wander away from each other as long as you are still respecting each other while you’re gone.
尽管你期待与他们共度时光,但这也不意味着你的每一分每一秒都得和Ta腻在一起,你不需要邀请Ta去你要去的每一个地方。你们可以分开一下,只要你们尊重彼此,你们不非得腻在一起永不分开。
It’s healthy to have space. It’s better to live your own lives, to be your own people, than to accidentally get so tangled up with each other that you are unable to function when you are apart.
拥有自己的空间才是健康的关系,过自己的生活,做更好的自己,远比腻在一起相互纠缠要好的多。
The right person for you will want you to have your own life. They will want you to be happy, even when they are out of your eyesight. They will find your independence attractive. They will be relieved that they don’t have to hold your hand in order for you to make it through the day okay.
那个对的Ta会希望你拥有自己的生活,会希望你过的开心,即使你在Ta的视线之外。Ta会发掘你的理性独立,Ta也会觉得轻松,因为Ta不必时时握着你的手给予你动力。
You don’t have to give up everything you love for your relationship, because there is enough room in your world for your forever person and for your friends and for your career. You can have it all. You don’t have to choose one over the other.
你不必为了一段关系而放弃你热爱的一切,因为在你的世界里,你爱的人,你的朋友,和你的事业,空间都是足够的。你不必只选择其中一个,因为你可以拥有一切。