介绍:
In late July, I learned from David Kendall that Starr had negotiated an immunity deal with Monica Lewinsky. Starr was determined to subpoena the President to testify, and Bill had to decide whether or not to cooperate. I agreed that Bill had to testify, and I didn't think there was any reason to worry if he did. It was just another hurdle. David Kendall was briefing Bill and me regularly on developments in the Starr investigation, and I knew the prosecution had requested a blood sample from the President without specifying its significance. David thought it was possible the OIC was bluffing, trying to spook Bill right before his testimony.
我曾在7月底时听肯德尔说过，斯塔尔已与莱温斯基达成不起诉协议。斯塔尔仍执意要传唤总统，比尔必须决定究竟是否配合斯塔尔。我同意比尔应向大陪审团作证，也觉得他并不需要担心后果，这只是另一个难关。戴维·肯德尔仍定期向比尔和我简报斯塔尔调查的最新进展，我因而得知，斯塔尔要求总统提供血样，却未说明原因。戴维认为，独立检察官办公室可能是在故布疑阵，虚张声势。
Early Saturday morning, August 15, Bill woke me up just as he had done months before. This time he didn't sit by the bed, but paced back and forth. He told me for the first time that the situation was much more serious than he had previously acknowledged. He now realized he would have to testify that there had been an inappropriate intimacy. He told me that what happened between them had been brief and sporadic. He couldn't tell me seven months ago, he said, because he was too ashamed to admit it and he knew how angry and hurt I would be.
8月15日一早，比尔照例来唤醒我，只是他没像往常那样坐在床边，却在一旁来回踱步。他首次向我表明，情势发展比他先前所认识到的还严重，现在他必须要作证坦承曾与莱温斯基有过不当亲密关系，但只是逢场作戏。比尔说他感到太羞愧了，所以无法在七个月前向我说明，而且也是顾虑到我会震怒，蒙受伤害。
I could hardly breathe. Gulping for air, I started crying and yelling at him, "What do you mean? What are you saying? Why did you lie to me?"
我简直无法呼吸，只能大口吸气，然后边哭边对他大吼：“你是什么意思？你说什么？你之前为什么说谎？”
I was furious and getting more so by the second. He just stood there saying over and over again, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I was trying to protect you and Chelsea." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Up until now I only thought that he'd been foolish for paying attention to the young woman and I was convinced that he was being railroaded. I couldn't believe he would do anything to endanger our marriage and our family. I was dumbfounded, heartbroken and outraged that I'd believed him at all.
一时间我震怒不已，而且越想越愤怒。他只是一味站在原地反复说：“对不起，太对不起了。我是为了保护你和切尔西。”我对他吐露的事情实在难以置信。在此之前，我一直认为比尔是欠考虑才会关心莱温斯基，也始终确信外界对他的评判都过于轻率。我从没想到他会做出危害我们婚姻和家庭的事情。我是那么的信任他，所以我实在哑口无言，心碎而又愤怒。
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David Kendall had alerted the TV networks that Bill would briefly address the nation at to P.M. eastern standard time. Some of Bill's most trusted advisers gathered in the Solarium to help him work on his statement. David Kendall was there, as was Chelsea, who was trying to make sense of what was happening. I stayed away, at first. I didn't much want to help Bill compose his public statement on a matter that violated my sense of decency and privacy. Finally, though, out of habit, maybe curiosity, perhaps love, I went upstairs. When I walked into the room at about 8 P.M., someone quickly switched off the sound on the television set. They knew I couldn't stand to hear whatever was being said. When I asked how things were going, it was clear that Bill still hadn't decided what to say.
戴维·肯德尔已经通知电视网，比尔将在美国东部时间当晚十点，通过电视向全国民众发表简短演说。事前，比尔最信赖的几位幕僚群聚日光浴室内帮他研拟讲稿。戴维·肯德尔在那，切尔西也在那里，希望能有所帮助。起初我打算撒手不管，不想帮他草拟那份将提及令我难堪的隐私的公开声明。但不知是出于习惯、好奇心或是爱意，我终究还是走上楼去。当我在晚间八点走进日光浴室时，有人立即关掉了电视的声音，他们知道我无法忍受媒体所说的东西。当我问起讲稿进度时，显然当时比尔还拿不定主意要说什么。
He wanted people to know that he deeply regretted misleading his family, his friends and his country. He also wanted them to know that he did not believe he had lied during the Jones deposition because the questions had been so clumsy―but that sounded like legalistic hairsplitting. He had made a terrible mistake, then tried to keep it a secret, and he needed to apologize. At the same time, he didn't think that, the President of the United States could afford to appear on television looking weak.
比尔想让美国民众了解，他对自己先前隐瞒事实误导家人、朋友及国家的做法深感遗憾。他也期望说明，他并不认为自己在为琼斯案提供证词时说了谎，因为提问者的问题实在含混不清，但他的话听上去像认为是法律的吹毛求疵。他犯了严重的过错还意图隐瞒，当然应该道歉。然而，两难的是，比尔认为，美国总统绝不可在电视上示弱。
As the hour for his statement approached, everyone was putting in his or her two cents, and this was not helping Bill. He wanted to use this opportunity to point out the unfairness and excesses of Starr's investigation, but there was a vigorous argument over whether he should take a shot at the independent counsel. Even though I was furious with him, I could see how upset he was, and it was awful to watch. So I finally said, "Well, Bill, this is your speech. You're the one who got yourself into this mess, and only you can decide what to say about it." Then Chelsea and I left the room.
比尔发表声明的时刻渐渐逼近，大家七嘴八舌地出主意，可对比尔都没多少帮助。他想利用这个机会指出斯塔尔调查中不公平和过分之处，可是众人对于他该不该指责独立检察官意见不一，吵个不停。虽然我对他余怒未息，却也不忍心看他如此慌乱。我终于开口：“好了，比尔，这是你的演说，把你拖进这场麻烦的是你自己，也只有你才能决定该有什么说法。”接着，切尔西和我走出房间。
Eventually everyone else left Bill alone, and he finished writing the statement by himself. Immediately after his speech, Bill was criticized for not apologizing enough (or, rather, for appearing less than sincere in his apology because he also criticized Starr). I was still too upset to have an opinion.
最终大家都离开了房间，留下比尔一个人完成他的讲稿。比尔发表谈话之后，有人立刻批评他道歉的程度不够（或是说他道歉的态度不够诚恳，因为他同时也批评了斯塔尔）。我的心情还很乱，不想发表意见。
Over the next days reactions from most Americans indicated that they considered a consensual relationship between adults a private matter, and they did not believe that it affected a person's ability to do a good job, Bill's standing in public opinion polls remained high. His standing with me had hit rock bottom.
不过接下来几天美国民众的反应则显示，大多数人觉得成年人之间两情相悦是私人事情，也不相信这种事会影响一个人的做事能力，比尔的民意调查声望居高不下，但他在我心目中的地位则跌到谷底。
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