Friends 624 The One With The Proposal 1

[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is showing Ross, Rachel, Joey, and Phoebe his engagement ring again.] Ross: God that is the most beautiful engagement ring ever! Rachel: Yeah? Well, you should know. You’ve bought like a billion of ‘em. Ross: Yeah, you didn’t get one. Chandler: Okay, well tonight’s the big night. Phoebe: Yeah! Joey: Okay listen, how are you gonna ask her? Chandler: It is going to be perfect. I am taking her to her favorite restaurant. I’m going to get her a bottle of the champagne that she really loves; therefore knows how expensive it is. Then when the glasses are full, instead of proposing a toast I’m just gonna propose. Rachel: Ohh… Joey: That sounds perfect! Chandler: Yeah. Joey: You’re gonna mess it up let me do it. Chandler: I’m not gonna mess it up. Phoebe: If she says no, can I have the ring? Chandler: She’s not gonna say no. Phoebe: If! Monica: (entering) Hey! Ross: Hey! (Monica’s entrance makes Phoebe try to hide the ring by putting it in her mouth.) Chandler: Hey! Phoebe: (with her mouthful) Hi Monica. (Monica goes into her room.) Chandler: (To Phoebe) Give me it! Phoebe: It’s gone. Chandler: Phoebe! (She takes it out of her mouth and hands it to him as Monica returns from her room and this time forcing Chandler to put the ring in his mouth.) Joey: Hey! Chandler: (with his mouthful) Hi Monica. (She goes into the bathroom.) Phoebe: (To Chandler) We’re practically kissing. (Makes a kissy face and winks at him.) Opening Credits [Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey are there as Rachel enters.] Rachel: (entering) Hey! Chandler: Hey! Joey: Hey Rach! Rachel: Are any of you guys free tonight? My boss is hosting this charity event for underprivileged kids and the more people I bring, the better I look. So, Monica? Chandler? Chandler: (glaring at her) Well, Monica and Chandler can’t go. We’re going to dinner remember?! Rachel: Oh my God, I’m so sorry. Monica: What’s the big deal? Chandler: I just get mad when Rachel doesn’t remember where we’re going. Joey: Where are you going? (Chandler stares at him.) Rachel: How about you guys? (Points to Phoebe and Joey.) Phoebe: Open bar? Rachel: I think so. Phoebe: I can do that for the kids. Joey: Hey, y’know what? I’ll come too. I’m making money now; it’s about time I give something back. Chandler: Well, you could also give back the money you owe me. Joey: Okay. Have a benefit. Ross: (entering) Hey! Rachel: Hey! Ross, listen can you come to a charity event tonight? Ross: Oh no, I have plans with Elizabeth. Chandler: Oh, so you’re already doing your part for the kids. Ross: I’m sorry, it’s just one of my last nights together before she leaves for camp—to be a counselor! Monica: Ross let me ask you a question. All jokes aside, where is this relationship going? Chandler: Wait a minute, all jokes aside? I didn’t agree to that! Monica: Do you really see this as a long-term thing? Ross: I don’t know. Phoebe: Y’know, you are 12 years older than her. Ross: Wait a minute, does-does everyone feel this way? All: Yeah! Yeah, sort of. I’m sorry. Ross: Uh-uh—Wow! Uh, I thought you guys were just like making jokes, I had no idea. What you know what? You guys are wrong. Uh yes, there is a chronological age difference but I never notice it. You know why? Because she is very mature. Besides, it doesn’t really matter to me what you guys think. I mean, I’m the one dating Elizabeth, not you! Joey: That’s not what she said last night. (Ross glares at him.) Rachel: See? Now, he could date her. [Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is practicing proposing.] Chandler: Will you marry me? Will you marry me? (Makes like a gun with his fingers.) Hey, you marry me! (He gives up as Joey, Rachel, Phoebe, and Ross slink in all excited.) What’s going on little elves? Joey: It’s the big night! We wanted to wish you good luck! Ross: Yeah, yeah you have the ring? Chandler: Yeah, right here in my pocket. (Pats his pocket. Phoebe smiles, goes over to hug him, and removes the ring from his pocket.) Pheebs? Phoebe: Oh! Oop! (Hands him back the ring.) Chandler: Okay, now will you guys get out of here? I want this is to be a surprise and she’s gonna know. Ross: (to the rest of them) Yeah-yeah you guys. Get out of here! (Monica enters from the bedroom.) Monica: Hi guys. Chandler: (To Monica) You are beautiful. Monica: Oh, thank you! (The gang exhibits signs of quiet apprehension and wears knowing glances.) (Monica giggles.) What’s going on? Rachel: (breaking up) We’re just really…very excited about this charity event that we have to go to. [Scene: The Charity Event, they’re holding a silent auction, Rachel is looking at one of the items and Phoebe walks up and hands her a glass of wine.] Phoebe: Here. Rachel: Oh! Thank you! Phoebe: So now what’s going on here? Rachel: Uh well, uh this is a silent auction. They lay out all the stuff here and then you write down your offer and then the highest bid gets it. Phoebe: No, I know what a silent is I meant, what’s going on with your hair? Rachel: (suddenly worried) Uh, wh-why? Phoebe: No! It’s nice! (Rachel’s boss, Mr. Thompson walks up.) Mr. Thompson: Nice to see you Rachel. Rachel: Oh, hi! Mr. Thompson: So glad you brought someone. Rachel: Someone? I brought people. Mr. Thompson, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, this is Mr. Thompson. (She introduces them.) He’s the head of my department. Phoebe: Oh, hi. (They shake hands.) Rachel: And I also brought my friend Joey… Joey: (behind them) Oh!! Shrimp toast! (Walks right past the little group on his way for the shrimp toast.) Rachel: Well, y’know I-I don’t know where he is. Mr. Thompson: Well, I hope you’re gonna bid on some things Rachel. Rachel: Well, y’know what? Actually, I was about to bid on this lovely trip to Paris. Mr. Thompson: Ohh, nice choice. Rachel: Yeah. Mr. Thompson: Good luck. Rachel: Thank you. (Mr. Thompson walks away and after he’s left.) Okay, (writing her bid down) twenty dollars. [Scene: Elizabeth’s Dorm Room, Ross is walking up to her door and knocks on it. Suddenly the door opens and Elizabeth drags him into the room.] {Transcriber’s Note: Elizabeth has two friends in the room with her who are named in the credits, but not in this scene. So I’m just gonna guess since it doesn’t matter one way or the other. (The last part is to discourage e-mails, who cares if I got it right or not?)} Zoe: Shut the door! Shut the door!! (Runs over and closes the door.) Ross: What’s-what’s going on? Elizabeth: The guys across the hall are throwing water balloons at us. Ross: Oh, you have to call the police! That’s what I did to the kids in my building! Elizabeth: No, it’s a water balloon fight! We started it! Ross: Oh! (Does a laugh/groan.) Listen umm, I, I just stopped by to see if you wanted to see this play tonight. Umm, it’s supposed to be excellent. The director is the same… Elizabeth: (ignoring him and picking up a pitcher) Who drank all the Kamikazes? Sarah: (approaching with two filled balloons in her hands) Nobody! We put them in here! (Indicates the aforementioned balloons causing both of them to scream in delight and start drinking from the balloons.) Elizabeth: (To Ross) You want some?! (Starts to squirt the Kamikaze at him.) Ross: No! Okay! Okay! (Stops her.) Okay, look, can I, can I just-just talk to you for a second? Elizabeth: Yeah, sure. Ross: Uh, so this play umm, what do you think? It’s-it’s gotten great reviews! Y’know the uh… (Suddenly the door opens and two guys come rushing in wielding water balloons.) First Dorm Guy: Attack! (They start lobbing the balloons in. Ross desperately tries to get out of the line of fire but is struck in the back. The girls all retreat to relative safety behind the couch.) Second Dorm Guy: Put your balloons down! The Girls: You put your balloons down!! First Dorm Guy: You put your balloons down!! (Both opposing camps start screaming at each other to drop their weapons and surrender. Finally, Ross steps in as a mediator.) Ross: (screaming) Everybody put their balloons down!!! (There is a temporary cease fire.) Now this is a nice suit!! (Shows everyone where he was hit.) [Scene: The Charity Event, Mr. Thompson is announcing the winners of the silent auction.] Mr. Thompson: Our next item is the romantic trip to Paris. (Pause.) It goes to Emil Alexander high a high bid of 2,300. Rachel: Ugh! So close! (Phoebe returns a with a tray full of different kinds of drinks.) Phoebe: Hey you guys! Look! Joey: Hey! Phoebe: I got me some drinks! Rachel: What are you doing? Phoebe: Open bar! Rachel: Well now it’s an empty bar. Phoebe: You just can’t stand anyone else enjoying themselves can’t you? Mr. Thompson: And finally, our biggest item of the night, the 22-foot gentleman’s day sailer sailboat. The winning bid was a whooping $20,000! (Joey suddenly gets excited.) Joey: I won! That was my guess! Rachel: What?! What?! What?! Joey: I guessed 20,000! Rachel: Joey! It is an auction! You don’t guess, you buy! Joey: What?! I don’t have 20,000! Mr. Thompson: Congratulations on your new boat, Joey Tribbiani!! (Everyone applauds and he stands up slowly.) Rachel: Joey! Sit down! (Pulls him down.) Phoebe: Forget her! You enjoy this!! (Pulls him back up and starts applauding again. Joey waves and does a salute.] [Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are sitting at a table. Monica is checking her makeup as Chandler suddenly has a horrifying thought and starts patting down his pockets until he finds what he’s looking for and sighs in relief.] Monica: What are you doing? Chandler: (trying to cover up why his hand is over his heart) One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. (Laughs.) I remembered it. (It’s a butchered version of the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States for our foreign friends.) The champagne is here. (The waiter is delivering it and pouring two glasses.) Monica: Are you okay? Chandler: Yes! Yes! I’m good! Are you good? Are you good? Is everything—are you—are you perrr-perfect?! Monica: Yeah. I’m okay. I’m actually—I’m a little cold, can I have your jacket? Chandler: Oh, yeah. (Starts to take it off and then realizes) Uh, no you can’t have my jacket! Because then I would be cold! If you thought that you were going to be cold, you should’ve brought your own jacket. But uh, other than that, are you okay? Are you okay? Monica: (laughs) Are you sure you’re okay? Chandler: Yes! I’m fine. In fact I’ve been fine for a long time now and I think, the reason is you. Monica: Ohh that’s sweet! Chandler: Okay umm, before I meant you I had really little life and I couldn’t imagine growing old with… (As he’s talking Monica notices someone familiar has just entered the restaurant. Let’s see; I seem to remember him driving a Ferrari in Hawaii solving crimes as a private investigator and as a certain eye doctor in more recent times.) Monica: (interrupting him) Oh my God! Chandler: (not knowing the true meaning of her exclamation) I know, but just let me say it. Monica: Oh my God, Richard. (Yep, Richard’s back.) Chandler: What?! I’m Chandler! (She nods towards the doorway, Chandler turns and looks) Oh, that’s Richard! Monica: Oh God, maybe he won’t see us. Richard! (Monica smiles then acts shocked. Chandler can’t believe she just did that.) Richard: (approaching them with a woman in tow) Monica! Chandler! Chandler: Hey-hey, hey! (Gets up and hugs him.) I don’t know why I did that! Monica: Hey, it’s good to see you! Richard: You too, you let uh, your hair grow long. Monica: Yeah—Oh that’s right. You, you always wanted me too. Hey, I see you got your mustache back. Richard: Well, my nose got lonely. Chandler: (to Richard’s date) And uh, you don’t have a mustache which is good. (She just smiles.) ……