介绍:
SCENE: Central Perk.
Phoebe: Oh hey you guys, I couldn't get a reservation for the night of my birthday, so we have to do dinner Thursday night instead.
Joey: Thursday? But that's Halloween.
Phoebe: So?
Joey: So spooky, that's all.
Ross: So, so, is Mike coming to dinner?
Phoebe: No! It's my first birthday with a boyfriend, and he has to work. Ugh, I get mad at him, but I think it's a little to soon to show my true colors.
Rachel: Pheebs, I would make a reservation for five, because one of us has to stay home and watch Emma. (To Ross) Which one of us should go to dinner?
Phoebe: Oh, Rachel! (As in "Rachel should go!")
Ross: Actually, um, I was thinking maybe both of us could go.
Phoebe: Oh, yay! (Less than enthusiastic.)
Ross: Thanks, I'll put a lot of extra thought into your gift.
Phoebe: Alright, okay, so we can all go now. That's fun. Hey, you know what? We all haven't been together, the six of us, in such a long time.
Monica: What are you talking about? We're all together right now.
Rachel: Um, Mon, Chandler's not here.
Monica: Oh, dear God!
Opening Credits
SCENE: Tulsa, a conference room
Chandler: Good morning everyone, it's nice to see our team together for the first time. Now, before we get started, are there any questions? Yes, Ken is it?
Ken: That's right. Is it true the reason you're here in Tulsa is that you fell asleep in a meeting and took the job without realizing what you were saying yes to?
Chandler: Well, don't believe everything you hear, Ken. But yeah, that's true. Alright, let's get started by taking a look at last quarter's figures. (Claudia, next to Chandler, lights a cigarette.) Ah, Claudia, aren't you supposed to blow smoke up the bosses' ass?
Claudia: I'm sorry. Does the smoke bother you?
Chandler: No, no, no-no-no. I smoked for years, then I quit. Right now, I can't remember why. You're not allowed to smoke in this office. Not right?
Claudia: Yes, in Oklahoma it's legal to smoke in offices with fifteen people or less. Would you like one?
Chandler: Alright, look. I don't smoke anymore. But if the rest of you want to light up, go ahead, it's fine. (Everyone lights up.) So you all smoke then? That's almost rude, that I'm not.
Ken: That's not true. If you don't wanna smoke ...
Chandler: (loud) Ken, please! No, I can't, I can't smoke. If I smoke, my wife would kill me.
Ken: I'm sorry, but isn't your wife back in New York?
Chandler: I always liked you, Ken. (Takes a cig)
SCENE: Moncia and Chandler's.
Knock at door.
Phoebe: (from outside) Trick or treat!
Monica: (opening the door) Hey!
Phoebe: Ooh, and treat it is. (Looks at Monica's exposed cleavage.)
Monica: Hmhmm. (Closes robe)
Phoebe: Wow, so glad I changed. Almost wore my threadbare robe that can't contain my breasts.
Monica: This is not, what I'm wearing. I'm ovulating and Chandler's gonna be home any minute, so I thought we would try before dinner.
Phoebe: Ohh. Oh wait! (Jis) you guys won't be late for my dinner, will you?
Monica: Believe me, Chandler and I have not seen each other in over a week. We'll probably be the first ones there.
Phoebe: 'kay, see you there. Happy humping! (outside, meets Chandler.) Hey...hey! (Sniffs) Oh, wow, somebody smoked out here? Oh my god, don't people know, you're not allowed to smoke in public spaces?
Chandler: Actually, in Oklahoma smoking is legal in all common areas and offices with fewer than fifteen people.
Phoebe: You smoked!
Chandler: No! I just happen to know a lot of trivia about smoking in different states. For example, in Hawaii cigarettes are called leihalalokos.
Phoebe: (Sniffs him) Chandler, you stink of cigarettes.
Chandler: Ah, do you think, Monica's gonna be able smell it?
Phoebe: Are you kidding? The woman has the nose of a bloodhound ... and the breasts of a great goddess... (Has odd smile.)
Chandler: Pheebs?
Phoebe: (embarrassed) I'm gonna go.
Chandler: (Enters. Talking to self) Okay, something to cover the smell ... Oven cleaner! (sprays himself, reads label) Unscented!
Monica: (from bedroom doorway) Welcome home. I've missed you. Join me in the bedroom?
Chandler: No thanks, I'm good.
Monica: (comes over) OK, so you wanna play it that way, do you?
Chandler: (shrinks back) Right. You know what? Actually I just got off the plane, so I'm feeling kinda gross. Maybe I should just take a shower.
Monica: You don't need a shower.
Chandler: (backs away) Alright, the truth is, I soiled myself during some turbulences.
Monica: What do I smell? (sniffs him) I smell smoke. Hon, did you smoke?
Chandler: Yes, but I just had one. Two. Two tiny cigarettes. Okay, five. A pack. Two packs...a...a carton. Three big fat cartons in two days. But it's over, I made a decision, I'm not gonna smoke anymore.
Monica: (Finds a pack inhis jacket)
Chandler: But, those are for you.
SCENE: Ross and Rachel's.
Ross: (On phone.) Alright, we'll just, uh, see you when you get here. Bye. (Hangs up) Huh, that was my mom, she's stuck in terrible traffic.
Rachel: Okay, well that's now the third sign that I should not leave Emma.
Ross: Oh, what were the other two?
Rachel: Well, let's see. The first one is: I don't want to. And, you know, I'm not going.
Ross: I know, it's the first time, we're leaving the baby and ... hey, I know how hard it is for you, but ... but Emma is gonna be fine. My mom is gonna be with her. She's great with kids.
Rachel: She is?
Ross: Yeah.
Rachel: What about Monica.
Ross: Hey, you only heard Monica's side of that. That little fatso was a terror.
Rachel: I just don't think I can bear it.
Ross: Rachel, I know that you can. And you should.
Rachel: Umm.
Ross: Really, it would be good for you and in fact, why don't you, why don't you go ahead to the restaurant and I'll wait for my mom, and then I'll meet you there.
Rachel: Oh, ah...
Ross: No, no, really. You should go. Just go! Go! Go out! Really, the world is your oyster. Kick up the heels. Paint the town red.
Rachel: You need to learn some new slang.
Ross: I'm serious. C'mon, you should go. Here. (shoves her outside) No, uh-uh, just go.
Rachel: Wait ... Oh!
Ross: No! No, you know what? (closes the door) You're not going back in there, the baby's fine, now scram. Yeah, tell your story walking.
Rachel: I was just going to say that I left my keys.
Ross: Oh, (door is locked) Holy moly, are we in a pickle now.
SCENE: The restaurant. Phoebe and Joey are sitting alone at a table for six.
Phoebe: Where is everyone? They're forty minutes late.
Joey: I know.
Phoebe: I'm starving. I knew we were coming here tonight, so I ate nothing all day.
Joey: What about me, huh? Only had one lunch today.
Waiter: So, are we expecting the rest of our party shortly?
Phoebe: (Putting on "higher class" way of speaking.) Yes, they are expected presently. Yeah, yeah um, their arrival is in the offing.
Waiter: Right. We do have a table for two available, perhaps you would be more comfortable.
Joey: No, they're coming, we're waiting right here.
Phoebe: Joseph! (To waiter) Thou needn't worry, they shan't be long.
Waiter: It's just that we do have some large parties waiting.
Phoebe: One really does have a stick up one's ass, doesn't one.
SCENE: Chandler and Monica's
Monica: How can you smoke in this day of age? Do you not seen that ad where the little kid walks to grandpa, it's chilling.
Chandler: I messed up, it was a meeting, everybody was smoking.
Monica: So what? Don't you have any will power?
Chandler: Will power? I've watched home movies of you eating ding-dongs without taking the tinfoil off.
Monica: You said that was sexy!
Chandler: OK, look: Can we just drop this? I'm not gonna smoke again.
Monica: That's right, because I forbid you to smoke again.
Chandler: You forbid me?
Monica: Um-hm.
Chandler: You know, I flew a long way t see my loving wife...is she here, by the way?
Monica: Don't joke with me, okay? I'm very, very upset right now.
Chandler: Oh, would you say this was the most upset you could be?
Monica: Yes.
Chandler: Then, I might as well do this (Lights a cigarette. Exhales. Pauses.) Not really sure what to do now.
Monica: Well, I'll tell you what we're gonna do: We are already late for Phoebe's birthday dinner, so you put out that cigarette, we're gonna put this fight on hold and go have sex.
Chandler: Fine. What?!?
Monica: Sex! This is the last day I'm ovulating, and if we don't do it now, we'll have to wait till next month.
Chandler: You're serious?
Monica: Oh yeah!
Chandler: Right, fine, I'll do it, but no talking.
Monica: Huh, and no cuddling.
Chandler: And no kissing your neck.
Monica: Oh good, I hate it when you do that
Chandler: And lots of kissing your neck!
SCENE: Outside Ross and Rachel's.
Ross: Okay, well the superintendant is not home.
Rachel: No!
Ross: Oh-oh, wait, my mother is gonna be here any minute. And she has the keys.
Rachel: Alright, I can't, I can't wait that long. You have to do something...knock that door down!
Ross: I would, but I bruise like a peach. Besides, you know, everything is gonna be fine. The baby's sleeping.
Rachel: What if she jumped out the basinet?
Ross: Can't hold her own head up, but yeah, jump out.
Rachel: Oh my God, I left the water running.
Ross: Rach, you did not leave the water running. Please, just pull yourself together, okay?
Rachel: Ah, did I leave the stove on?
Ross: You never cooked since 1996.
Rachel: Is the window open? Because if there's a window open, a bird could fly in there.
Ross: Oh my god, you know what, yeah, I think you're right. I think .. listen, listen!
Rachel: Huh?
Ross: A pigeon, a pigeon. No, no wait, no, no, an eagle flew in! Landed on the stove and caught fire. The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird's aid. The eagle, however, misconstrues as an act of aggression and grabs the baby in its talons. Meanwhile the faucet fills the apartment with water. Baby and bird still ablaze are locked in a death grip, swirling around in the whirl pool that fills the apartment.
Rachel: Boy, are you gonna be sorry if that's true.
SCENE: The restaurant, still only Phoebe and Joey.
Waiter: Hello.
Phoebe & Joey: Hey.
Waiter: It's been an hour. Would you be willing to reconsider switching to a smaller table?
Joey: Maybe we should just eat now.
Waiter: You can't order until your entire party has arrived. Restaurant policy.
Joey: Well, how about this: Another table leaves, right? But there's still some food left on their place, OK, what's the restaurant's policy about people eating that?
Waiter: Strange man.
Joey: But it happens? (Waiter leaves. To Pheobe.) I'm gotta go to the bathroom.
Phoebe: No, you can't go. No-no-no, I can't hold this table on my own. If they ask me to move, I'll cave.
Joey: If you ask me to stay, I'll pee. (leaves)
Maitre D': Good evening, Miss. (Phoebe turns her head away) Miss? (from the opposite side) Miss? Miss!
Phoebe: Okay, fine, I'll move. Alright, you don't have to manhandle me. (gets up) Where? Okay. Thank you. .
Joey: (Returns to their old table where elderly people are sitting now, sits) Finally you guys made it. (looks up, turns left to Phoebe's chair) Pheebs, who the hell...ahhh!
SCENE: The Bings' bedroom.
Monica: Spend more time with the tie. That'll make a baby.
Chandler: Look, I can't do this. I can't make love to you while we're fighting this way.
Monica: Oh sure, now you're Mister Sensitivity. But when you wanted to have sex right after my uncle's funeral...
Chandler: That was a celebration of life! Alright, look, I'm not gonna do this. Alright, is this really the way you want our baby to be conceived?
Monica: No, you're right. We shouldn't do it like this. Huh. For what it's worth, I'm, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come down on you so hard about the smoking. So you had a few cigarettes, it's not the end of the world.
Chandler: You mean it?
Monica: Yeah.
Chandler: You are incredible. I'm not gonna smoke again. And if I do, I promise, I will hide it so much better from you. (they kiss)
Monica: Do you want to?
Chandler: Yeah, let's celebrate life!
Monica: Okay.
SCENE: Ross & Rachel's
……
大家还在听
