Friends 1001 The One After Joey and Rachel Kiss

[Barbados, Monica and Chandler's Room. They both enter from Ross's room. Monica still has her big, frizzy hair.] Monica: Oh, the way you crushed Mike at ping pong was such a turn-on.You wanna...? (plays with her finger on Chandlers chest) Chandler: You know, I'd love to, but I'm a little tired. Monica: I'll put a pillowcase over my head. Chandler: You're on! (they start to get ready, but then Phoebe enters through the door from Ross's room) Phoebe: Hey! Monica: What's up? Phoebe: Well, okay, Mike's taking a shower, which by the way there's no law against. And then we're gonna grab some food, so if you want... (there's a door slamming in Ross's room, and some indistinct murmuring) Ross: ... finally... Phoebe: Is that Ross? Monica: Yeah, you can hear everything through these stupid walls. Phoebe: Sounds like he's with someone. Chandler: He could be alone. This morning I heard him do push-ups, and then talk to his triceps. Monica: Wait a minute, I think Phoebe's right. You know I hear someone else in there with him. (they all put their ear against the wall to be able to hear what's being said. We move to Ross's room where he and Charlie are kissing.) Charlie: Ooh... Dr. Geller! Ross: God, you're amazing... I didn't even have to ask you to call me that. Monica: Oh my God, that's Charlie! Chandler: She's cheating on Joey with Ross! Phoebe: Oh that tart... floozy... giant... Monica: I'm not sure about this. Phoebe: Yeah, you're right. This is none of our business. Monica: No I'm not sure that it's the best way to hear everything. Someone get me a glass! Phoebe: Oh, I'm not gonna do this, okay? I'm not gonna eavesdrop on my friend. Rachel: (through wall) Ooh... I loveBarbados! (Phoebe starts to listen at the other wall, where Rachel's room is. There, Joey and Rachel are kissing.) Joey: Ooh... I can't believe I'm kissing you. I'm kissing Rachel! Rachel: I know, I'm her! (they start to kiss again, and Phoebe turns to Chandler and Monica) Phoebe: (whispering) Rachel and Joey! It's Rachel and Joey!!! Monica: What? Phoebe: Get over here! (Chandler and Monica take a sprint to the other wall) Rachel: ooh... Chandler: Wow! Monica: (in her Monica-excited-way... TOO LOUD!) Oh my God, I love how thin these walls are! (In the rooms next door, Joey, Rachel, Ross and Charlie stop kissing and try to understand what the yelling was about. After a while they continue kissing. We're back in Chandler and Monica's room. Monica has some of her own hair stuffed in her mouth by Chandler.) Monica: (muffled) Thank you. OPENING CREDITS (Rachel and Joey's) Rachel: Hey, you know, before you said that nothing could happen between us? What changed? Joey: Well, I only said that because of Ross, you know. Then I saw him kissing Charlie... Rachel: What? Ross and Charlie? (Joey nods) Wow! She's really making her way through the group, huh? Ah, who am I to talk? (Chandler and Monica's) Monica: I can't believe this. Rachel and Joey? Chandler: How about the dinosaur twins in the other room? No-one is manning that wall! Monica: I'm on it! Chandler: Anything? Monica: I think I hear curtains closing... Phoebe: We've got shoes being kicked off over here. Monica: Bedsprings, unmistakable! Chandler: You do realise that's your brother? Monica: Not until you said it. Somebody switch! (Chandler makes a clicking sound with his fingers and Phoebe runs to the other wall. Monica returns to Chandlers wall.) Wait a minute... Ross and Charlie, Joey and Rachel, Phoebe and Mike! We're the only people leaving with the same person we came with. Chandler: That's not true. I came with Monica and I'm leaving with Weird Al. Monica: Okay, I've had it with the hair jokes. Tomorrow morning, before we leave, I'm going to the salon. Chandler: Okay Buckwheat! Phoebe: You gotta hear this, it's great... It's like free porn! (Chandler eagerly rushes over) (Ross and Charlie's) Ross: Weh...*sigh* Charlie: uhm... Is everything okay? Ross: Yeah, It's just... I don't think I can do this... Charlie: Ooh... Is it because of what might be on the bedspread, because I saw that news report too, with the infra red and the ... I could just... Ross: No, NO! (they're moving to the side of the bed, where they sit down) Look, I need to talk to Joey. I mean, you guys just broke up. Before anything more happens between us, I need to know he's okay with it. Charlie: I uhm... I completely understand. Ross: Alright, I'm gonna go find them... (twitches a bit, looks down) I just need a... need a before I can... you know. (gestures standing up... they sit and wait for a while) Grandma... grandma... grandma... (he tries to concentrate...) Okay, I see you later. Charlie: Okay... (Chandler and Monica's, all three of them are listening at the wall to Ross and Charlie's) Phoebe: That's the door. He's gone... Chandler: And she's... turning on the TV... and watching... Miss Congeniality! Monica: Honey, if you know it through a wall, you know it too well! (They are still listening at the wall, when Ross enters their room) Ross: Hey, what are you guys doing? Phoebe: Oh, we're just... we're sad to go so we're just saying goodbye to the hotel. (hugs the wall) I love you... Paradise Hotel, Golf resort and Spa... (she walks away from the wall) Monica: (also hugs the wall) Yeah, we had a great time, thank you! (walks to Phoebe) Chandler: (caresses the wall with his finger) Bye! Ross: Okay, uhm... Hey, you guys seen Joey anywhere? Chandler: He's probably in his room with his current girlfriend Charlie. That's the situation as we know it... (walks to Phoebe and Monica) Ross: Well, if you see him could you please tell him I'm looking for him? Chandler: You got it! Ross: Thanks! (walks out of the room and starts hugging the wall) Thank you! (closes the door) Monica: Other wall, people! Other wall! (they rush to the wall to Rachel and Joey's, and we move to that room) Ross: (knocks on door) Rach, you there? (Joey and Rachel both get up from the bed) Joey: Oh my God, it's Ross. What are we gonna do? Rachel: Oh, ju-ju-just stay calm. Just be calm. For all he knows we're just hanging out together. Right? Just be nonchalant. (Joey like stands at attention with his chest forward and his hands on his sides, looking up at the ceiling with his lips pouted.) That's not nonchalant! Joey: No idea what it means. Rachel: Oh... okay, just hide! Ross: (knocks) Rach? Rachel: Coming! Try under the bed, try under the bed! (When Rachel starts to look under the bed if Joey would fit under there, Chandler opens the door inbetween the rooms, grabs Joey by his shirt and drags him to his room, and closes the door again) Rachel: There's no room under the bed. (looks around because she can't find Joey anymore) Ross: Is everything okay? Rachel: Yeah... (still looking to see where Joey went, and opens the door) Ross: Hey. Rachel: Hi... Ross: You know where Joey is? Rachel: ...I really don't... (looks around again) Ross: Can I talk to you for a minute? Rachel: Yeah, sure... (looks outside into the corridor if Joey is there) (Monica and Chandler's room. Phoebe, Monica and Chandler have their ears pressed against the wall, and Joey looks at them) Joey: I don't believe this... Have you guys been... Phoebe: Shhh... This is the listening side of the wall. (Now Joey also wants to listen, and wants to press his ears against the door, which has a big mirror on it, he hesitates seeing himself in the mirror, but still puts his ear against it. We move again to Rachel's room.) Ross: And then she told me that she and Joey had broken up, and that part of the reason was that she had feelings for me. Rachel: (clearly not listening and still trying to find out where Joey went) Uh-huh... right... yeah... Ross: And you know I wanted to ask Charlie out since the day I met her. Rachel: (still searching) Oh, I know... I know it's been really hard for you. Ross: Anyway, one thing lead to another, and... oh... before you know it, we were kissing. I mean, how angry do you think Joey is gonna be? Rachel: (now looking up at the ceiling) That is hard to say, Ross. That is hard to say. Ross: You know, I gotta go find him. He's gotta be here someplace. Rachel: You would think! (Ross leaves the room) Rachel: Joey! Joey: Is he gone? Rachel: (still can't find him) How are you doing this? (Joey now enters the room through the door, Monica, Chandler and Phoebe are following him.) Joey: Pssst... Rachel: How... wha... Hey! What are you... What is this? Have you guys been listening this entire time? Monica, Chandler and Phoebe: YE-AH! Phoebe: Now, what is this? Rachel: Ah, what is this? Well, lets see, we kissed for ten minutes and now we're talking to our friends about it, so I guess this is sixth grade! Phoebe: Oh no... Have you thought about it how complicated this could get? What about Ross? Joey: Well, he's with Charlie now. Monica: Yeah, but he wants to talk to you before anything really happens with her. And as his friend, I mean, don't you think he deserves the same from you? Joey: (long pause and he twitches a bit) You're a pain in my ass, Geller! Rachel: All right, look you guys... Look, we appreciate all the advice, but this is between Joey and me and I think we can handle it... Chandler: Okay, well we'll go back in there, but will you do one thing for us? The people that care about you? Rachel: Sure... Chandler: Enunciate! Rachel: Get out! (They leave and Rachel locks the door.) Rachel: Are they right? Joey: Probably, yeah... I mean, maybe we should... hold off until we talk to Ross. Rachel: Yeah... Yeah, we can wait, we don't have to do anything tonight. Joey: Yeah, I think that'd be best... So, so I'm gonna... I'm gonna take off... Rachel: (Joey walks to the door) Although... Joey: (turns around very fast) I like although! Rachel: I mean, you know... Ross and I haven't dated in like... six years... Joey: Six years? Wow... It's almost as long as highschool... Rachel: Plus, you know, he is with Charlie now. Joey: Absolutely! He's not thinking about you. Rachel: No... Joey: I'm thinking about you... Rachel: Yeah... Joey: Let's forget about Ross... Rachel: Forgotten. (They want to kiss, but just before their lips touch, Rachel pulls back quickly, gasping) Joey: What's wrong? Rachel: Nothing... Joey's voice, but she sees Ross: Seriously... What is it? Rachel: Nothing... It's really... It's nothing... Come here, come here... (again, just before their lips touch, she pulls back, gasping) Joey's voice/Ross: What's wrong? Rachel: Sorry, I just uhm... I can't seem to get Ross out of my head... Joey: Well, maybe I can help. (he grabs her head passionately, closes his eyes and kisses... Ross in Rachel's dress! He realises it too late, and when he does, pushes Ross's/Rachel's head away) Rachel/Ross: Ooh, your lips are so soft... Do that again... (and she/he moves in for another kiss. Joey, pushes her head away again...) Joey: Yeah... we really need to talk to Ross... Both: Yeah COMMERCIAL BREAK [Chandler and Monica's room. Chandler is packing when Ross knocks on the door and enters...] Ross: Hey! Chandler: Hey! Ross: You guys ready to go? Chandler: Not quite. Monica's still at the salon, and I'm just finishing packing. Ross: Dude! You're not taking your Bible? Chandler: You're not supposed to take that. Besides, it's a New Testament, what are you gonna do with it? Ross: Learn about Jesus... (Charlie now also enters the room, Chandler walks to the bathroom) Ross: Hey! Charlie: So, did you talk to Joey? Ross: Uh, no... no. I couldn't find him. I'm just gonna talk to him on the plane. Charlie: Yeah, sounds like a good idea... Dr. Geller! Ross: Stop it! Charlie: PHD Ross: You're filthy! (Phoebe enters) Phoebe: Hey, have you guys seen Monica? Ross: Uh, actually I think she went to the salon. Phoebe: Oh yeah, oh, she went to the salon alright... (Monica enters, with her hair braided and little shells at the end) Monica: Check it out! Phoebe: Who's day just got better? CHANDLER! (Chandler enters from the bathroom) Chandler: Hey!... aaaaaahhhh! ……