介绍:
这篇分享不是特别好写。因为在生活中，可以遇到形形色色的所谓“朋友”，但是涉及隐私，大多数光怪陆离的情节是无法诉诸文字的。
但是，我想，每个人可能或多或少都经历过令人纠结的，莫名其妙的，甚至有些扎心的“友情”。
也许是我遇人不淑，但是我从来不会隐瞒或者湮没我的真诚。因为，我知道，只有真诚地付出，才可以“以真心换真情”，遇到格局和气场颇为类似的人。
但是，在人生的一个个友情实验中，有多少人从感恩相遇到形同陌路。
不是来源于环境变迁和境遇不同自然而然的疏离，而是一场场令人疑惑、不安、焦虑甚至惊恐和愤懑的离散事件。
比如，有几乎不联系的“朋友”，忽然间问你借一笔钱。
有借了你的钱，承诺“下个月一定还”的“朋友”，却要靠你打110报案才会有钱财失而复得的一线生机。
有先和你说“没问题”的朋友，但又在deadline前两个小时说“抱歉，真的不方便”，就匆匆挂下电话。
有你在机场接送，且安排了宾馆住宿并热情招待的“朋友”，一声招呼不打就离开了你的城市。
有用坏了你的东西的“朋友”，佯装无事发生，不见丝毫歉意。
有见你遇到困难的“朋友”，非但不帮忙，反而不见任何同理心地发出爽朗的笑声。
有你帮着TA做了很多事情的“朋友”，但当你有事相求时，甩过来一个无比lame的理由就再也不见了踪迹。
有和你说好一起上学、上班、开房、租房并分担费用的“朋友”，不是在完事儿之后行色匆匆，先行一步；就是在分担费用时面露难色，锱铢必较。
每个人的应对方案不同。由于今天的这篇是连载，所以路易斯先和大家分享三种令人发指的所谓“朋友”，下一篇我们接着分享关于离开“毒害友情”的策略良方。
如往常，有用的词汇，用亮黄色标注；有用的句子，字体加粗并用下划线。
3 Types Of So-Called Friends You Should Avoid
三种你最该远离的所谓“朋友”
It's only natural that as we get older, we start growing apart from our old friends. We become more aware of who we are, who we want to be, our values and what we want to achieve. We realize that we're very different from them. This might seem like a bad thing, but it's actually super healthy and positive. Most of us have at least a few bad friends -- maybe they're overly critical or dependent, or maybe they just get on our nerves – and when we get rid of them, we have room for new friends who will actually benefit our lives. However, sometimes people need a push to get rid of the bad people in their life. Maybe they want to get rid of their friend, but they feel guilty or mean so they continue to hang out together. If this is you, stop! You deserve friends who bring value and happiness to your life.
随着年龄的增长，我们自然会与老朋友们分开，这是很自然的。我们变得更加了解我们是谁，我们想成为谁，我们的价值观以及我们想要实现的目标。我们意识到我们与他们有很大的不同。这似乎是一件坏事，但实际上是非常健康和积极的。我们大多数人至少有几个坏朋友——也许他们过于挑剔或依赖，或者只是让我们感到不安——当我们摆脱他们时，我们就有了空间，可以让新朋友真正受益于我们的生活。但是，有时人们需要努力摆脱生活中的坏人。也许他们想摆脱他们的朋友，但他们感到内疚刻薄，所以他们继续在一起。如果你是这样的，那就停下来！你值得拥有给你的生活带来价值和幸福的朋友。
1. The Needy Friend
欲求不满的朋友
The super needy friend is always asking for help. Every time you go out for drinks, they ask if they can borrow money. They often ask you to go on road trips together, and they expect you to drive, but they never give you any gas money. And the worst part? When you don’t have anything to give them, or they owe you money, they completely disappear from your life. When you call them they don’t answer, and when you text them, well, they don’t reply. It’s good to help friends out when they are going through a hard time. After all, that's what good friends do. But this person is trying to take advantage of you. Next time they disappear from your life, don’t try to make contact with them. Instead, go ahead and call a friend who actually likes you for you and doesn't think about the things that you can do for them.
超级需要帮助的朋友总是寻求帮助。每次你出去喝酒，他们都会问你借钱。他们经常邀请你一起自驾游，他们希望你开车，但是他们从来不给你油钱。最糟糕的是什么？当你没有任何东西可以给他们，或者他们欠你钱的时候，他们就会从你的生活中完全消失。当你打电话给他们时，他们不接，当你给他们发信息时，他们也不回。当朋友们遇到困难的时候，帮助他们是很好的。毕竟，这是好朋友该做的事。但是这个人想占你的便宜。下次他们从你的生活中消失时，不要试图与他们联系。相反，你可以打电话给一个真正喜欢你的朋友，TA不会考虑你能为TA做什么。
2. The Selfish Friend
自私的朋友
The selfish friend has super high expectations for you. They do not care if you succeed in your career and love life... but they do care about themselves, and they expect you to assist them in every way. They completely forget about your needs, but they expect you to prioritize their own needs. They say stuff like, “I can’t believe you wouldn’t cancel on your friend’s birthday party to see me. Sometimes you can be a really bad friend.” If you’re friends with someone like this, consider removing them from your life. Selfish people rarely change, and it can be mentally exhausting to be their friend. They will continue to demand selfish things from you, but they will never realize that their requests are selfish; they will think that they are being reasonable and fair. You need friends who actually acknowledge your needs as a person, instead of quickly dismissing them.
自私的朋友对你有极高的期望。他们不关心你是否在事业上成功，是否热爱生活……但是他们关心他们自己，他们希望你在各方面帮助他们。他们完全忘记了你的需求，但他们希望你优先考虑他们自己的需求。他们会说，“真不敢相信你竟然不取消你朋友的生日聚会来看我。有时候你会是一个很糟糕的朋友。” 如果你和这样的人是朋友，考虑把他们从你的生活中赶走。自私的人很少改变，成为他们的朋友会让人精神疲惫。他们会继续向你索取自私的东西，但他们永远不会意识到他们的要求是自私的；他们会认为自己是合理和公平的。你需要这样的朋友：他们能真正理解你的需求，而不是迅速地将其摒弃。
3. The Negative Friend
消极的朋友
The negative friend never has anything nice to say about anyone. They love gossiping and drama and they love putting people down. They normally have low confidence themselves, so they make themselves feel better by insulting the people around them. They normally like to focus their negative energy on one person, so they might have one person who they regularly choose to attack. If you have a friend like this, you might want to think about dropping them. They bring negativity into your life, which you don’t need; the world is already a negative enough place! It is also very unlikely that they are a loyal friend, especially if they always complain about their other friends to you. You can guarantee that it is just a matter of time before they are trash-talking you to someone else because they have to put other people down to feel good about themselves.
消极的朋友从不说任何人的好话。他们喜欢说长道短，喜欢小题大做，喜欢贬低别人。他们通常对自己没有信心，所以他们通过侮辱周围的人来让自己感觉更好。他们通常喜欢把他们的负面能量集中在一个人身上，所以他们可能会选择攻击一个人。如果你有这样的朋友，你可能会想要放弃他们。他们给你的生活带来你不需要的消极影响；这个世界已经够消极的了！他们也不太可能是一个忠诚的朋友，特别是如果他们总是向你抱怨他们的其他朋友。你可以保证，他们说你的闲话只是时间的问题，因为他们不得不贬低别人来让自己感觉良好。
炫酷词汇
overly 过于
needy 欲求不满的
road trips 自驾游
take advantage of you 占你的便宜
prioritize 优先考虑
exhausting 疲惫的
dismiss 摒弃
put people down 贬低别人
trash-talking 闲话
走心句子
You deserve friends who bring value and happiness to your life.
你值得拥有给你的生活带来价值和幸福的朋友。
Instead, go ahead and call a friend who actually likes you for you and doesn't think about the things that you can do for them.
相反，你可以打电话给一个真正喜欢你的朋友，TA不会考虑你能为TA做什么。
Selfish people rarely change, and it can be mentally exhausting to be their friend. They will continue to demand selfish things from you, but they will never realize that their requests are selfish; they will think that they are being reasonable and fair.
自私的人很少改变，成为他们的朋友会让人精神疲惫。他们会继续向你索取自私的东西，但他们永远不会意识到他们的要求是自私的;他们会认为自己是合理和公平的。
They bring negativity into your life, which you don’t need; the world is already a negative enough place!
他们给你的生活带来你不需要的消极影响；这个世界已经够消极的了！
You can guarantee that it is just a matter of time before they are trash-talking you to someone else because they have to put other people down to feel good about themselves.
你可以保证，他们说你的闲话只是时间的问题，因为他们不得不贬低别人来让自己感觉良好。
好了，今天就到这里。如果你喜欢思考，热爱英语，想用英语表达自己的生活感悟，就来关注双语吐槽君！关于“远离毒害友情”这个话题，我们下期继续。
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