介绍:
Heyang: A recent online survey shows for that many young parents after giving birth to a child that’s when more trouble ensues. Apparently, young Chinese parents leave the responsibility of raising kids to the grandparents. Is this okay? What is going on here?
Yu Yang: So this online survey of China Youth Daily shows that, raising child is now a problem for many young couples. According to the statics, 58% of the respondents believe that it is very common to see young parents not taking the duty of raising their child. And 61% believes that great pressure from work is the main cause of the phenomenon. Nearly half of the respondents say they may consider about quitting the job, or at least their spouse to quit, if there’s no one to help. Nowadays it is very common to see grandparents or nanny hired to take care of the baby.
Ryan: Yeah, looking at this, this is something foreign to me. Just because I’m from the U.S., I feel like this is something that is maybe acceptable here. But in the U.S., I know if I did something like this, my parents would not be about it. They would say: “That child is your responsibility. Don’t expect us to pick up things you are do in your life. Like we already did it. We are done with it. We are ready to chill and enjoy other years of life that we have left. Now it’s your turn to be the parents. ” They would also probably say that is a privilege and something would be so memorable. She always tells me the best days of her life weren’t when she’s at work. It was her stressfully making time so that she could catch the little performances we did at school, and be a really part of our lives. So looking at this, I can understand people are busier and busier as the years go on, it seems. But at the same time I think you should try to make time in your life before you have kids so that you can be of more presence in their lives.
Heyang: You make a really good point. I think you show a different perspective really, and that is very much cherished on this show. Let me just play the role of the brat, spoiled young Chinese person considering having a child or not. “Well, mom. If you say I must get married. Okay, I’ve done that (in this imaginary world). And now you want to have a child. All right I’m giving that to you, since it is you that asked me to do all of this and want this child. You have a part in raising it too.”
Yu Yang: That’s typical Chinese scenario!
Heyang: Right?! Okay, buy the way, that was all acting. I still don’t even have a boyfriend. So Yu Yang, tell me more about it.
Yu Yang: well, I think one reason from the young couple is huge pressure. The other reason is these young couples are mentally immature and not independent enough. They rely on their parents too much. It’s a habit for them to rely on their parents to do everything, even taking caring of the baby. I agree with Ryan that if you can’t take care of the baby, just don’t have them. But in the Chinese scenario, they are pushed by their parents.
Heyang: Sometimes.
Ryan: yeah, so I speak for my sister and her newly wed husband. I think they got married last year. I know that sounds awful, but anyway I do remember their wedding and they are very happy newlywed couple. But they are so busy doing things together and wanting to spend time together. At the same time, they told me that they will only have kids if they know they have enough time to give to the kids. Otherwise they don’t think it’s fair to the kid to have them. A lot of us in the U.S. , what we do actually in a lot of relationships and what I plan to implement in my life is when I meet that special girl, and I’m like “ yeah, girl, let’s think about having a kid. But first let’s get a dog, a puppy. Because the thing about puppy is they are really hard to take care of. It’s almost like they have to be watched, all the time, like a baby. If you can pull that off successfully without killing each other and maintaining your work life. Well then maybe you are ready for the next step: the baby.
Yu Yang: There are some potential problems for the grandparents to take care of the baby. The child willbe easily indulged by the grandparents.
Heyang: That’s true. When you are the parents who are not happy with what the grandparents have done in helping you out, to raise your kid, then I seriously don’t think you have any place to complain.
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