介绍:
[00:00.00]
[00:12.80]
[00:14.80]My name is Mary Alice Young.
[00:17.39]
[00:17.39]When you read this morning&`&s paper, you may come across an article
[00:20.39]
[00:20.81]about the unusual day I had last week.
[00:23.81]
[00:23.98]Normally, there&`&s never anything newsworthy about my life,
[00:26.98]
[00:27.69]but that all changed last thursday.
[00:30.69]
[00:30.78]Of course, everything seemed quite normal at first.
[00:33.78]
[00:34.61]I made breakfast for my family.
[00:37.57]
[00:38.28]I performed my chores.
[00:41.29]
[00:41.79]I completed my projects.
[00:44.79]
[00:45.71]I ran my errands.
[00:48.38]
[00:48.38]In truth, I spent the day as I spent every other day --
[00:52.38]
[00:52.71]quietly polishing the routine of my life until it gleamed with perfection.
[00:57.68]
[01:01.39]That&`&s why it was so astonishing when I decided to go to my hallway closet
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[01:06.81]and retrieve a revolver that had never been used.
[01:09.82]
[01:15.40]My body was discovered by my neighbor mrs. Martha Huber,
[01:19.41]
[01:19.99]who had been startled by a strange popping sound.
[01:23.00]
[01:23.58]Her curiosity aroused,
[01:25.50]
[01:25.50]mrs. Huber tried to think of a reason for dropping in on me unannounced.
[01:29.50]
[01:32.30]After some initial hesitation,
[01:34.80]
[01:34.80]she decided to return the blender she had borrowed from me six months before.
[01:39.80]
[02:01.91]It&`&s my neighbor. I think she&`&s been shot.
[02:04.29]
[02:04.29]There&`&s blood everywhere.
[02:06.00]
[02:06.00]Yes. You&`&ve got to send an ambulance. You&`&ve got to send one right now.
[02:11.00]
[02:15.88]And for a moment,
[02:17.09]
[02:17.09]mrs. Huber stood motionless in her kitchen,
[02:19.89]
[02:19.89]grief-stricken by this senseless tragedy...
[02:22.89]
[02:23.68]But only for a moment.
[02:25.81]
[02:25.81]If there was one thing mrs. Huber was known for,
[02:28.81]
[02:29.19]it was her ability to look on the bright side.
[02:32.19]
[02:38.99]I was laid to rest on a monday.
[02:41.70]
[02:41.70]After the funeral, all the residents of wisteria lane came to pay their respects.
[02:45.70]
[02:48.08]And, as people do in these situations, they brought food.
[02:51.08]
[02:51.88]Lynette Scavo brought fried chicken.
[02:54.88]
[02:54.88]Lynette had a great family recipe for fried chicken.
[02:57.88]
[02:58.09]Of course, she didn&`&t cook much while she was moving up the corporate ladder.
[03:01.09]
[03:01.59]She didn&`&t have the time.
[03:03.39]
[03:03.39]But when her doctor announced Lynette was pregnant,
[03:05.68]
[03:05.68]her husband Tom had an idea.
[03:08.10]
[03:08.10]"Why not quit your job?
[03:09.69]
[03:09.69]"Kids do better with stay-at-home moms. It would be so much less stressful."
[03:13.69]
[03:14.61]But this was not the case.
[03:16.48]
[03:16.48]In fact, Lynette&`&s life had become so hectic,
[03:19.49]
[03:19.61]she was now forced to get her fried chicken from a fast-food restaurant.
[03:23.62]
[03:23.91]Lynette would have appreciated the irony if she stopped to think about it,
[03:26.91]
[03:27.58]but she couldn&`&t. She didn&`&t have the time.
[03:30.41]
[03:30.41]- Stop it ! - But, mom!
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[03:32.00]No,
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[03:32.71]you are going to behave today.
[03:34.88]
[03:34.88]I am not going to be humiliated in front of the entire neighborhood.
[03:37.88]
[03:38.09]And just so you know how serious I am...
[03:40.72]
[03:40.72]what&`&s that?
[03:42.09]
[03:42.09]Santa&`&s cell phone number.
[03:44.18]
[03:44.18]How&`&d you get that?
[03:46.01]
[03:46.01]I know someone who knows someone who knows an elf,
[03:48.89]
[03:48.89]and if any of you acts up, so help me, I will call Santa,
[03:51.89]
[03:52.48]and I will tell him you want socks for Christmas.
[03:55.48]
[03:55.90]You willing to risk that?
[03:58.90]
[03:59.99]Okay. Let&`&s get this over with.
[04:03.99]
[04:06.99]Gabrielle Solis, who lives down the block,
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[04:09.49]brought a spicy paella.
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[04:13.00]Since her modeling days in New York,
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[04:14.88]Gabrielle had developed a taste for rich food...
[04:17.88]
[04:19.09]and rich men.
[04:22.09]
[04:22.30]Carlos, who worked in mergersnd acquisitions,
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[04:24.51]proposed on their third date.
[04:27.39]
[04:27.39]Gabrielle was touched when tears welled up in his eyes,
[04:30.10]
[04:30.10]but she soon discovered this happened
[04:32.81]
[04:32.81]every time Carlos closed the big deal.
[04:35.19]
[04:35.19]Gabrielle liked her paella piping hot.
[04:37.90]
[04:37.90]However, her relationship with her husband was considerably cooler.
[04:40.90]
[04:42.49]If you talk to Al Mason at this thing,
[04:44.61]
[04:44.61]I want you to casually mention how much I paid for your necklace.
[04:47.49]
[04:47.49]He let me know how much he paid for his wife&`&s new convertible.
[04:49.58]
[04:49.58]Why don&`&t I just pin the receipt to my chest?
[04:51.70]
[04:51.70]Look, just work it into the conversation.
[04:52.91]
[04:52.91]There&`&s no way I can just work that in, Carlos.
[04:54.58]
[04:54.58]Why not?
[04:56.21]
[04:56.21]At the Donoghue party, everyone was talking mutual funds,
[04:59.00]
[04:59.00]and you found a way to mention you slept with half the Yankee outfield.
[05:02.01]
[05:02.01]I&`&m telling you, it came up in the context of the conversation.
[05:04.88]
[05:04.88]Hey, people are starting to stare. Can you keep your voice down, please?
[05:07.68]
[05:07.68]Absolutely. We wouldn&`&t want them to think we&`&re not happy.
[05:10.68]
[05:11.31]Bree van de Kamp, who lives next door,
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[05:13.81]brought baskets of muffins she baked from scratch.
[05:16.81]
[05:16.98]Bree was known for her cooking,
[05:19.19]
[05:19.19]and for making her own clothes,
[05:22.11]
[05:22.11]and for doing her own gardening,
[05:24.90]
[05:24.90]and for reupholstering her own furniture.
[05:27.91]
[05:28.78]Yes, Bree&`&s many talents were known throughout the neigh
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