GRACE AND GRIT-- 2.92 WHY ME?

KEN: Although everything was happening in painfully slow motion, each frame contained too much experience and too much information, which produced the bizarre sensation that things were happening both rapidly and very slowly, somehow at the same time. I kept having the image of myself playing baseball: I am standing there with my glove on, with several people throwing baseballs at me, which I am supposed to catch. But so many balls are being thrown at me that they bounce off my face and body and land on the ground, while I stand there with a stupid-looking expression. “Gee, guys, want to slow down and give me a chance? No?...” The bad-news phone calls continued. TREYA: Why couldn’t someone call with good news, I thought? Isn’t this enough for now? How about a ray of hope somewhere? With each call I went through a period of renewed self-pity, why me? I let myself react, and then after some time passed I could accept the news calmly as simple factual information. This is the way it is. I had a 2.5 centimeter lump removed. It was invasive carcinoma. The cells were poorly differentiated.That’s all we knew for now.It was late. Ken went in the kitchen to get us some tea. The world lay quiet, resting, and my tears began again. Quiet tears, despairing tears. This was true, this was real, this was happening to me. Ken came back in, looked at me; didn’t say a thing; sat down, put his arms around me; held me very tight; we stared into the darkness, not saying a word.