Thinking about a second child? Don’t listen to me

I have read the news with bemused interest as Chinese doctors advise prospective mothers about the risks of having a second child. I’m a skeptic. But don’t listen to me. I am not a doctor. I claim no medical knowledge whatsoever. If you’re a woman contemplating having a second child, you should stop reading now. I am not qualified to render a professional opinion about anything — least of all prenatal care. Yet I have also been accused of knowing too much about reproduction. I have eight children — yes, three sons and five daughters. Shocking but true. I will say that a big family is wonderful, especially now that the kids are grown. Whenever my professional colleagues in the United States found out how many children I had, they would invariably gasp. “Good grief! Don’t you know what causes that?” I told them I never really thought about it; I just did what I was told. So I have seen a lot of birthing. All eight of my children were delivered by caesarean section, all from the same woman. My wife set the hospital record for number of consecutive C-sections. I witnessed every one. In US hospitals, unlike many in China, they typically invite fathers into the operating room. I’ve now seen so many C-sections I’m confident I could perform one in an emergency with a ball-point pen. So if you’re a pregnant woman who courageously kept reading after being warned, take note: I can respond quickly if you every have need — in a taxi, on the subway or climbing the Great Wall. There’s been a great deal of news coverage about China’s second-child policy. Articles often quote doctors saying that a woman is considered “old” for pregnancy if she’s over 35. Tut-tut. My wife was 43 when our eighth child was born. (She wanted more, but I finally drew the line.) Doctors say the risks go up for older women. Regular checkups are essential. Diet is crucial. I’m sure they’re right, so please don’t listen to me. What do I know? I can only report one couple’s experience. With our first child, my wife was very concerned, very careful, very picky about everything — diet, exercise, monthly exams, playing music to the baby in her belly. By the time the fifth or sixth child rolled around, she would simply visit the doctor once and say, “See you in eight months.” She had faith in nature. After all, women have been getting pregnant for thousands of years. One Chinese doctor warned last week about the risks of multiple C-sections, and advised women in their second pregnancy to wait three months before exercising. But my wife exercised from the start. She even went bungee jumping when she was two-months pregnant, and that kid turned out to be supersmart. (I’m not advocating this for improving a gaokao score — just saying.) It’s true that parents may feel strained with a second child, but I can attest that it gets easier after three, if only because you don’t notice the additional craziness when you’re already nuts.