Parallel worlds: Gun safety and safe sex

In the United States, talk comes and goes about the dangers of guns, and what to do about accidental shootings and crime. I notice a similar cycle in China, but here the talk is not about guns — it’s about sex. Yes, sex education is back in the news, with advocates and academics making their case for age-appropriate training of children and adolescents. (Why this subject is the least bit controversial in 2017 baffles me.) Let’s face it: Both guns and sex are dangerous. Either can be misused. But when it comes to sex, the greatest danger, by far, is not crime, it’s Mother Nature. There is no stopping powerful teenage hormones. Like it or not, young people are going to discover their bodies and answer biology’s irresistible call. That’s just a fact. Anybody who thinks otherwise is daydreaming. Pretending this force of nature can somehow be suppressed by refusing to talk about it — or, worse, burdening what should be a joyful experience with guilt and shame — is below wishful thinking. Denying young people the knowledge they need to deal with their natural sexual urges borders on criminal negligence. Their lives can literally be ruined because they simply didn’t understand the consequences, or take precautions. I was astounded to learn this week that there are 13 million abortions in China annually. That’s a lot of people who don’t seem to understand simple contraception. By comparison, the United States, whose population is roughly one-fourth of China’s, sees fewer than 1 million abortions. The health impact on women has got to be staggering, both physically and psychologically. And then there are sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV, which is now growing fastest among Chinese adolescents. It seems a good time to pull our collective heads out of the sand for the sake of the next generation. What loving parent would refuse to tell a child not to eat poison, or not to run into the street in front of cars, or not to touch an open flame? Not one. Why, then, do so many seem to fail in teaching their children about safe sex? There’s a lesson in the guns. In the US, I own many historical and recreational firearms. Target shooting has been part of my life, and I’ve shared my enthusiasm with my children, starting as soon as they were toilet trained. I won’t be the parent of a child who killed himself or a friend because he stupidly didn’t understand the basic mechanics of safety. Safety was Lesson 1. If you touch a gun, check the chamber. Every time. Leave the action open. Never let the barrel cross something you’re not willing to destroy. Those lessons, delivered at tender ages, took root. My children are now ferociously competent when it comes to gun safety. It took me longer to understand that I needed to be equally direct about safe sex — but I got there. It’s the only rational choice. Neglecting this duty would be like handing a kid a loaded gun. 在美国，有关枪支危险以及如何应对意外枪击和犯罪的话题热度时增时减。我发现在中国也有类似的“三分钟热度”话题，但并不是关于枪支——而是性。 没错，性教育再次登上了新闻头条，倡导者和学者支持为儿童和青少年进行适龄的性教育。（让我疑惑的是为什么这个话题在2017年没有引起半点争议。） 说实话，性和枪同样危险，同样会被滥用。但说到性，目前最大的危险不是性犯罪，而是个人的自然需求。我们无法抑制青少年强大的荷尔蒙。不管喜欢与否，他们都会感知到自己体内的欲望并对这种无法抗拒的“诱惑”予以回应。这就是事实，而有人认为能够抵抗荷尔蒙就是在痴人说梦。 假装避而不谈就能在某种程度上抑制这种自然需求——或者更甚，扭曲这种原本让人愉悦的体验并冠以耻辱和罪责——这都是一厢情愿的想法。抵制年轻人了解如何正确应对性冲动无异于过失犯罪。因为年轻人根本不考虑后果或是采取预防措施，这会彻底葬送他们的生活。 这周我了解到中国每年约有1300万女性堕胎，简直让我瞠目。很多人貌似连基本的避孕方法都不了解。相比之下，人口总量是中国1/4的美国，每年的堕胎人数还不到100万。堕胎不仅会对女性的身心健康造成双重摧毁，还会感染性传播疾病例如艾滋病，目前中国青少年人群的此类发病率增速最高。 为了下一代，是时候让所有人面对现实了。称职的父母从来不会让孩子尝试毒品，横闯马路或是碰明火。那么，为什么在教育孩子安全性行为方面有这么多家长失职了呢？ 或许，我们可以从应对枪支问题那里得到启发。 在美国，我收藏了很多枪械，还有一部分是供我日常娱乐。打靶射击已成为我生活的一部分。在我孩子一两岁的时候，我就与他们分享我的射击爱好。我不会让我的孩子因为无知到不懂基本的安全措施，而伤到他自己或是朋友。 安全永远至上。如果你接触一把枪，务必每次都要检查枪膛。别碰枪机，永远不要让枪伤及无辜。这些经验教训应该让孩子从小就得牢牢记住，我的孩子们在枪支安全常识这方面可是相当在行。 我花了很长时间才想明白，我应该对安全性行为一视同仁——我做到了。这是唯一理性的选择。因为忽视这个职责就好比给孩子一把上膛的枪。