35. Beautiful & Cruel

35.Beautiful & Cruel 美丽的和残酷的 I am an ugly daughter. 我是一个丑丫头。 I am the one nobody comes for. 我是那个没人来要的丫头。 Nenny says she won't wait her whole life for a husband to come and get her, that Minerva's sister left her mother's house by having a baby, but she doesn't want to go that way either. 蕾妮说她不会一辈子等一个丈夫来要她，密涅瓦的姐姐生了个宝宝，才离开了她妈妈的家，可她不想走她的路。 She wants things all her own, to pick and choose. 她想要事事随她的意，她要挑挑拣拣。 Nenny has pretty eyes and it's easy to talk that way if you are pretty. 蕾妮长着漂亮的眼睛。如果你很漂亮，那么说当然就很容易了。 My mother says when I get older my dusty hair will settle and my blouse will learn to stay clean, but I have decided not to grow up tame like the others who lay their necks on the threshold waiting for the ball and chain. 我妈妈说等我长大点的时候，我涩涩的头发会变得清亮，我穿的上衣会一直干净整洁。可我决定不要长大变成像别人那么温顺的样子，把脖子搁在门槛上等待甜蜜的枷链。 In the movies there is always one with red red lips who is beautiful and cruel. 电影里总有一个嘴唇红红、美丽又残酷的女人。 She is the one who drives the men crazy and laughs them all away. 是她让男人发狂，是她大笑着让男人落荒而逃。 Her power is her own. 她的力量是她自己的。 She will not give it away. 她不会放弃它。 I have begun my own quiet war. Simple. Sure. I am one who leaves the table like a man, without putting back the chair or picking up the plate. 我已经开始了我自己的沉默的战争。简单。坚定。我是那个像男人一样离开餐桌的人，不把椅子摆正来，也不拾起碗筷来。