【Ted演讲】David Brooks - 活在你的简历，还是活在你的悼词（双语文稿

《活在你的简历，还是活在你的悼词》 David Brooks So I've been thinking about the difference between the résumé virtues and the eulogy virtues.The résumé virtues are the ones you put on your résumé,which are the skills you bring to the marketplace.The eulogy virtues are the ones that get mentioned in the eulogy,which are deeper: who are you, in your depth,what is the nature of your relationships,are you bold, loving, dependable, consistency?And most of us, including me, would say that the eulogy virtues are the more important of the virtues.But at least in my case, are they the ones that I think about the most? And the answer is no. 我一直在思考下面两者的区别，简历美德和悼词美德。简历美德是指那些你自己会写在简历上的优点，这是一种在市场中生存的技能。悼词美德是指那些会在你的悼词中，别人提到的话。哪一个更深刻：从内心深处来讲，哪一个才是你。在人际关系中，你的本质是什么，大胆的？深情的？值得信任的？还是稳重的？包括我自己在内的大多说人会说，悼词美德会更加重要。但是至少从我的角度来说，他们是我认为的最重要的那个吗？答案是否定的。 So I've been thinking about that problem,and a thinker who has helped me think about it is a guy named Joseph Soloveichik, who was a rabbi who wrote a book called "The Lonely Man Of Faith" in 1965.Soloveitchik said there are two sides of our natures,which he called Adam I and Adam II.Adam I is the worldly, ambitious,external side of our nature.He wants to build, create, create companies,create innovation.Adam II is the humble side of our nature.Adam II wants not only to do good but to be good,to live in a way internally that honors God, creation and our possibilities.Adam I wants to conquer the world.Adam II wants to hear a calling and obey the world.Adam I savors accomplishment.Adam II savors inner consistency and strength.Adam I asks how things work.Adam II asks why we're here.Adam I's motto is "success."Adam II's motto is "love, redemption and return." 所以我正在思考一个问题，并且一个思想家也在帮助我思考，叫做约瑟夫，过去是一个犹太学者，在1965年著有《有信仰的孤独人》。索罗维奇可说到我们的本质可以分为两面，他称之为亚当一号以及亚当二号。亚当一号是世俗的，雄心勃勃的，是我们本质外在的一面。这一面想要去建造，去创造，创造公司，创造革新。亚当二号则是本质中谦逊的那一面。亚当二号要求不仅要做好事，并且要成为好人，去以一种内在的方式生活，去尊敬上帝，创作，以及自我的责任。亚当一号想要征服这个世界。亚当二号想要倾听这个世界的呼唤并且遵循这个世界。亚当一号尽情享受那种成就感。亚当二号则享受内在的融合和赐予的力量。亚当一号询问事情怎么运转。亚当二号则关心我们为什么在这里。亚当一号的座右铭是“成功”。亚当二号的座右铭是“爱，拯救和回报”。 And Soloveitchik argued that these two sides of our nature are at war with each other.We live in perpetual self-confrontation between the external success and the internal value.And the tricky thing, I'd say, about these two sides of our nature is they work by different logics.The external logic is an economic logic:input leads to output, risk leads to reward.The internal side of our nature is a moral logic and often an inverse logic.You have to give to receive.You have to surrender to something outside yourself to gain strength within yourself.You have to conquer the desire to get what you want.In order to fulfill yourself, you have to forget yourself.In order to find yourself, you have to lose yourself. 同时，索罗维奇可也思考过我们这两种感情的相互斗争。我们生活在一个不断进行自我抗争，夹杂在外在的成功和内在的价值之中。我认为更有趣的是，我们的两种本质，依照不同的逻辑运作。外在逻辑方法是经济学的逻辑方式：投入产出模式和风险回报模式。我们内在的本质是一种道德上的逻辑，通常是一种逆向逻辑。你不得不用你的付出去获得。你不得不先放弃你自身的外在的一些东西去获得自己内在的力量。你需要克服你想要的东西的欲望。为了使自己满足，你需要先忘记你自己。为了去找到自我，你需要先失去自我。 We happen to live in a society that favors Adam I,and often neglects Adam II.And the problem is, that turns you into a shrewd animal who treats life as a game,and you become a cold, calculating creature who slips into a sort of mediocrity where you realize there's a difference between your desired self and your actual self.You're not earning the sort of eulogy you want,you hope someone will give to you.You don't have the depth of conviction.You don't have an emotional sonorousness.You don't have commitment to tasks that would take more than a lifetime to commit. 我们碰巧生活在一个支持亚当一号的社会中，并且经常会忽视亚当二号。那么问题就是，这会使你成为一个精明的动物，一个把生活当做游戏的人，并且你会成为一个无情的，爱计较的人，最后堕落为庸人这一类，直到那个时候你才意识到欲望里的自己和真实的自己是有区别的。你并没有得到你想要的悼词，你希望别人可以给你。你没有坚定的信仰。你没有丰富的情绪。你并没有一个要花费一生的时间去实现的承诺。 I was reminded of a common response through history of how you build a solid Adam II,how you build a depth of character.Through history, people have gone back into their own pasts,sometimes to a precious time in their life,to their childhood,and often, the mind gravitates in the past to a moment of shame,some sin committed, some act of selfishness,an act of omission, of shallowness,the sin of anger, the sin of self-pity,trying to be a people-pleaser, a lack of courage.Adam I is built by building on your strengths.Adam II is built by fighting your weaknesses.You go into yourself, you find the sin which you've committed over and again through your life,your signature sin out of which the others emerge,and you fight that sin and you wrestle with that sin,and out of that wrestling, that suffering,then a depth of character is constructed.And we're often not taught to recognize the sin in ourselves,in that we're not taught in this culture how to wrestle with it,how to confront it, and how to combat it.We live in a culture with an Adam I mentality where we're inarticulate about Adam II. 纵观历史我得到了一个相同的回答，是告诉你怎样去建立一个坚固的亚当二号，怎样去塑造一个有深度的性格。回首过往，人们可以看到自己的过去，有时候是生命中很珍贵的某个时刻，有时候是童年，更多的，会吸引你的是那些让你感到羞耻的瞬间，一些犯错的时候，比如一些自私的举动，一些欠考虑或者肤浅的行为，一些愤怒时犯的过错，一些自怜自哀时的行为，总是去迎合别人或者缺乏勇气的时候。亚当一号是建立在堆砌你的优点上的。亚当二号是建立在打败你的缺点上的。当你走入自己的内心，你会发现那些在你生命中犯了一次又一次的错误，你最不能忘记的那个过错会区别于其它的那些过错，你会和那个过错做斗争，去努力克服那个过错，当你从那些斗争和苦难中重生的时候，也就是一个有深度的性格建立的时候。同时，我没并没有经常被教导怎么认识到自己的过错，在现在的文化中我们也没有被教导怎么去和它们斗争，怎么去面对它们并，如何它们斗争。我们生活在一个有着亚当一号心理的社会中，在这里我们很难表达亚当二号的思想。 Finally, Reinhold Niebuhr summed up the confrontation, the fully lived Adam I and Adam II life, this way:"Nothing that is worth doing can be achieved in our lifetime;therefore we must be saved by hope.Nothing which is true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history;therefore we must be saved by faith.Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone;therefore we must be saved by love.No virtuous act is quite as virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as from our own standpoint.Therefore we must be saved by that final form of love,which is forgiveness.” 最后，莱因霍尔德·尼布尔用这种方式总结了生活中亚当一号和亚当二号完全对立的这种存在：“没有一件值得一做的事情，可以在你的一生中完成；因此我们必须用希望来拯救。没有一样真实或者美丽的东西，可以在历史的一瞬展现它的华彩；因此我们必须用信仰来救赎。没有一件事情，哪怕它是美好的，我们可以独自完成；因此我们必须用爱来拯救。没有什么善良的行为是完全的善，不论是从朋友，敌人，或者我们自身的角度都是这样。因此我们必须被完全的爱来拯救，也就是用宽容。“ Thanks. 谢谢 (Applause) 掌声