介绍:
这首是在读睡发的存一下，用了一堆配乐，但貌合神离。驾驭不了。希望大家好眠。
瘾君子
睡眠贩子
死亡贩子，
掌心每晚握一把胶囊，
从那心爱的药瓶一次倒八粒
我为针眼大的旅行做安排。
我是皇后掌控这情状。
我是安排这旅行的专家
而现在他们说我是瘾君子。
现在他们问为什么。
为什么！
难道他们不知道
我曾承诺要去死！
我一直在练习。
我不过保持了体型。
药片是妈妈，但更好些，
每一种颜色，像酸辣丸一样棒。
我靠死亡节食。
是的，我承认
这有点儿成了习惯——
一口气八粒，一拳被打蒙了眼，
被那粉的、橙的，
绿的和白的晚安片们拖曳而去。
我渐渐变成某种
化合制品。
就是这样！
我对药片的
占有
持续了一年又一年。
我喜欢它们胜过我自己。
它们极端顽固，死不放手。
这是一种婚姻。
这是一种
我把炸弹安放在自己体内的
战争。
是的
我试图
以小剂量杀死自己，
一桩无害的工作
其实我对此惴惴不安。
可是记着我不会搞出太大噪音。
而且坦白说不需要什么人拖我出去
我也不会披着裹尸布站在那里。
我是一朵身穿黄色睡袍的小小金凤花
接连吃着我那八块面包
并按照特定程序
像是受按手之礼
或行黑色圣事。
这是一场典礼
但同其它任何运动一样
充满规则。
它像一场音调优美的网球赛
我的嘴在不停接球。
随后我躺倒在我的祭坛
由那八个化学之吻冉冉抬升。
好一场放倒啊！
就用俩粉、俩橙、
俩绿和俩白的晚安片们，
嘿嗨吼哈——
此刻我被借用。
此刻我失去了知觉。
作者 / 安妮•塞克斯顿
翻译 / 张逸旻（中译本即出）
The Addict
Sleepmonger,
deathmonger,
with capsules in my palms each night,
eight at a time from sweet pharmaceutical bottles
I make arrangements for a pint-sized journey.
I'm the queen of this condition.
I'm an expert on making the trip
and now they say I'm an addict.
Now they ask why.
Why!
Don't they know
that I promised to die!
I'm keeping in practice.
I'm merely staying in shape.
The pills are a mother, but better,
every color and as good as sour balls.
I'm on a diet from death.
Yes, I admit
it has gotten to be a bit of a habit —
blows eight at a time, socked in the eye,
hauled away by the pink, the orange,
the green and the white goodnights.
I'm becoming something of a chemical
mixture.
That's it!
My supply
of tablets
has got to last for years and years.
I like them more than I like me.
Stubborn as hell, they won't let go.
It's a kind of marriage.
It's a kind of war
where I plant bombs inside
of myself.
Yes
I try
to kill myself in small amounts,
an innocuous occupation.
Actually I'm hung up on it.
But remember I don't make too much noise.
And frankly no one has to lug me out
and I don't stand there in my winding sheet.
I'm a little buttercup in my yellow nightie
eating my eight loaves in a row
and in a certain order as in
the laying on of hands
or the black sacrament.
It's a ceremony
but like any other sport
it's full of rules.
It's like a musical tennis match where
my mouth keeps catching the ball.
Then I lie on my altar
elevated by the eight chemical kisses.
What a lay me down this is
with two pink, two orange,
two green, two white goodnights.
Fee-fi-f o-f um —
Now I'm borrowed.
Now I'm numb.
Anne Sexton
Selected from Selected Poems
大家还在听
