介绍:
大家好，我是雄叔，互联网英语教师、英语配音员。 微信搜索“熊孩子聚集地”，回复“微课”，可以享受雄叔为大家准备的大礼包！
大家有没有想过，
撩个外国汉子做男友会是怎样一种体验？
①这裙子挺适合你的：
雄叔：Hey, Darling. I think this dress is made to be yours.
你：Oh, honey. That’s way too expensive, I can’t afford it.
雄叔：It’s OK. It’s on me.
你：No, Bear. Don’t waste your money on something so beautiful and unnecessary.
Then, Uncle Bear got the dress for you anyway.
老外：Hey, Darling. Check this out. This looks good on you.
你：Oh, honey. That’s way too expensive, I can’t afford it.
老外：Oh. （老外很难懂你那些娇羞的小台词：说no其实是在说yes）
②你收到了男友买的裙子/你没收到男友买的裙子：
雄叔：Honey, do you like the dress I got you today?
你：Oh my God, like it? I love it! I told you not to waste your money on this! (But I’m so happy hahahaha)
雄叔：I’m glad you love it. I’m happy when you are happy.
老外：Honey, are you sure you don’t want the dress we saw today?
你：It’s too expensive. Beautiful, but expensive. I’m gonna pass. (It’s so beautiful, I want it, I want it, you dumbass!)
老外：Oh. （性子直，听不懂潜台词，要买请直说，老外不差钱。）
③相处一年后：
雄叔：Honey, I’ve saved up 20,000 yuan this past year. At this pace, I can buy an apartment in Shanghai in … uh… about 200 years !（攒200年的钱，为你买房）
你：Oh, honey, it’s ok, we don’t need to buy an apartment. You see,we’re happy in this rented small room where I can get to the bathroom right after I get off bed.
雄叔：Oh.
你：Honey, it’s been a year, how much did you save?
老外：Save? What? Money? I haven’t saved any… why? You didn’t get cancer, I hope?
你：No, I didn’t! If you don’t save money, how can you buy us an apartment? Or a car?
老外：I think it’s cool to live in a rented apartment where I can get to the bathroom right after I get off bed. And the subway is so convenient.
你：You like the subway? With all those people all around you everyday?
老外：……If you don’t like those people, we can order Subway on 百度外卖 or 饿了么.（Subway既是地铁，又是赛百味）
你：Oh.
（老外年轻的时候不太有攒钱意识。老外一般快四十了才开始买房啥的。）
④相处两年后：
雄叔：Will you marry me?
你：Yes! Oh my God, Yes! Definitely yes! Wait a minute. Are you gonna buy us an apartment? Are you gonna buy us a car? ‘Cuz if you don’t, my parents won’t agree.
雄叔：I’ve sold my two kidneys for a great fortune, so yes.（即便卖肾，也要为你买车买房！）
你：Yes! Oh my God, Yes! Definitely yes!
老外：Hey, hon, I got a surprise.
你：Really? (Oh my God! He’s gonna propose, he’s gonna propose!)
老外：Tada~!
你：……What is this……？
老外：I’ve been learning to cook 番茄炒蛋！
你：Oh. (Is he ever gonna propose at all…?)
（有些老外年轻的时候经常会处个好长时间再求婚）
⑤在婚礼前：
雄叔：Everything is ready. You are gonna be awesome tomorrow.
你：I know, right? We are an awesome couple. Except that… Where’s your hair?
雄叔：I sold my kidneys to get us the apartment and the car, remember?
你：I love you so much, honey.
老外：Que no para la fiesta, don’t stop the party!
你：Hey, what the fuck are you doing! Get your lazy ass back here, we have a fucking wedding tomorrow!
老外： Hey hon, you are not supposed to call me at this time.
你：Fuck you! 滴滴滴滴滴滴滴滴滴滴滴滴.
老外：Oh…
（老外男性在婚礼前往往会去strip club high一番来对自己的单身生活say goodbye）
⑥十年后：
雄叔：You know son, you are a miracle. I made your mother conceive（怀上了） you ten years ago. And I was without my kidneys at the time. If it weren’t for a miracle, I don’t know what it is.
Your son: Daddy!
雄叔：Although… You don’t look like me. Not a bit. I don’t know why but you are starting to look like the guy who lives next to us.
Your son: 爸爸你说我长得像隔壁王叔叔！What a coincidence!
雄叔：Oh…
老外：We are going on a family trip everyone!
You and your children: Yeah!
老外：Where’s Tom? You left him home? He’s only three years old, he can’tbe left home alone!
You: Shut up there’re already four kids in the car, no room for a three-year-old.
老外：Oh honey, thank you so much for the 5 kids you brought to the world. I promise you, we’ll have another 5 kids and that’s it. No more!
You：Oh…
（老外要么丁克，要么生好几个，少有只生一个的。）
本期微课重点表达：
I can’t afford it: 要（买）不起
I’m gonna pass: 我还是算了吧……
definitely: 绝对地
be supposed to: 应该做某事
What a coincidence！: 这不是巧了么这不是！
propose：求婚
commit：承诺
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