The Kite Runner
每个人心中都有或多或少的遗憾,每个人心里都有软弱的一面,生活让我们肩上越来越沉重,压迫我们不断离自己的初衷越来越远,可是有什么办法,逃避是弱者的行为,更何况我们无法逃避,也无处逃避。
简单美丽的童年,总让人依恋,甚至愿意想象着在内心建一座城堡来好好保存安放它。小时候席地而坐间的一些话,或谈天说或地信誓旦旦或无限憧憬……说的人很认真很认真,而听的人却可以转身即忘……
我们都会成长,我们都会迷茫,可最初的自己,一定要不小心给弄丢么……
有句话说:有些事发生了就不可能忘记,即使忘记也只是暂时的记不起。
They called him "flat-nosed" because of Ali and Hassan's characteristic Hazara Mongoloid features. For years, that was all I knew about the Hazaras, that they were Mogul descendants, and that they looked a little like Chinese people. School text books barely mentioned them and referred to their ancestry only in passing. Then one day, I was in Baba's study, looking through his stuff, when I found one of my mother's old history books. It was written by an Iranian named Khorami. I blew the dust off it, sneaked it into bed with me that night, and was stunned to find an entire chapter on Hazara history. An entire chapter dedicated to Hassan's people! In it, I read that my people, the Pashtuns, had persecuted and oppressed the Hazaras. It said the Hazaras had tried to rise against the Pashtuns in the nineteenth century, but the Pashtuns had "quelled them with unspeakable violence." The book said that my people had killed the Hazaras, driven them from their lands, burned their Homes, and sold their women. The book said part of the reason Pashtuns had oppressed the Hazaras was that Pashtuns were Sunni Muslims, while Hazaras were Shi'a. The book said a lot of things I didn't know, things my teachers hadn't mentioned. Things Baba hadn't mentioned either. It also said some things I did know, like that people called Hazaras "mice-eating, flat-nosed, load-carrying donkeys". I had heard some of the kids in the neighborhood yell those names to Hassan.
The following week, after class, I showed the book to my teacher and pointed to the chapter on the Hazaras. He skimmed through a couple of pages, snickered, handed the book back. "That's the one thing Shi'a people do well," he said, picking up his papers, "passing themselves as martyrs." He wrinkled his nose when he said the word Shi'a, like it was some kind of disease.
But despite sharing ethnic heritage and family blood, Sanaubar joined the neighborhood kids in taunting Ali. I have heard that she made no secret of her disdain for his appearance.
"This is a husband?" she would sneer. "I have seen old donkeys better suited to be a husband."
In the end, most people suspected the marriage had been an arrangement of sorts between Ali and his uncle, Sanaubar's father. They said Ali had married his cousin to help restore some honor to his uncle's blemished name, even though Ali, who had been orphaned at the age of five, had no worldly possessions or inheritance to speak of.
Ali never retaliated against any of his tormentors, I suppose partly because he could never catch them with that twisted leg dragging behind him. But mostly because Ali was immune to the insults of his assailants; he had found his joy, his antidote, the moment Sanaubar had given birth to Hassan. It had been a simple enough affair. No obstetricians, no anesthesiologists, no fancy monitoring devices. Just Sanaubar lying on a stained, naked mattress with Ali and a midwife helping her. She hadn't needed much help at all, because, even in birth, Hassan was true to his nature:
He was incapable of hurting anyone. A few grunts, a couple of pushes, and out came Hassan. Out he came smiling.
译文:
他们管他叫“塌鼻子”,因为阿里和哈桑是哈扎拉人,有典型的蒙古人种外貌。很长一段时间内,我对哈扎拉人的了解就这么多:他们是蒙古人的后裔,跟中国人稍微有些相似。学校的教材对他们语焉不详,仅仅提到过他们的祖先。有一天,我在爸爸的书房翻阅他的东西,发现有本妈妈留下的旧历史书,作者是伊朗人,叫寇拉米。我吹去蒙在书上的尘灰,那天晚上偷偷将它带上床,吃惊地发现里面关于哈扎拉人的故事竟然写了满满一章。整整一章都是关于哈扎拉人的!我从中读到自己的族人——普什图人(Pashtuns,阿富汗人口最多的民族,其语言普什图语为阿富汗国语)曾经迫害和剥削哈扎拉人。它提到19世纪时,哈扎拉人曾试图反抗普什图人,但普什图人“以罄竹难书的暴行镇压了他们”。书中说我的族人对哈扎拉人妄加杀戮,迫使他们离乡背井,烧焚他们的家园,贩售他们的女人。书中认为,普什图人压迫哈扎拉人的原因,部分是由于前者是逊尼派穆斯林,而后者是什叶派。那本书记载着很多我不知道的事情,那些事情我的老师从未提及,爸爸也缄口不谈。它还诉说着一些我已经知道的事情,比如人们管哈扎拉人叫“吃老鼠的人”、“塌鼻子”、“载货蠢驴”等。我曾听到有些邻居的小孩这么辱骂哈桑。
随后那个星期,有天下课,我把那本书给老师看,指着关于哈扎拉人那一章。他翻了几页,嗤之以鼻地把书还给我。“这件事什叶派最拿手了,”他边收拾自己的教案边说,“把他们自己送上西天,还当是殉道呢。”提到什叶派这个词的时候,他皱了皱鼻子,仿佛那是某种疾病。
虽说同属一族,甚至同根所生,但莎娜芭也加入到邻居小孩取笑阿里的行列里去了。据说她憎恶他的相貌,已经到了尽人皆知的地步。
“这是个丈夫吗?”她会冷笑着说,“我看嫁头老驴子都比嫁给他好。”
最终,人们都猜测这桩婚事是阿里和他叔叔——也就是莎娜芭的父亲之间的某种协定。他们说阿里娶他的堂妹,是为了给声名受辱的叔叔恢复一点荣誉,尽管阿里五岁痛失牯持,也并无值得一提的财物或遗产。
阿里对这些侮辱总是默默以待,我认为这跟他畸形的腿有关:他不可能逮到他们。但更主要的是,这些欺辱对他来说毫不见效,在莎娜芭生下哈桑那一刻,他已经找到他的快乐、他的灵丹妙药。那真是足够简单的事情,没有产科医生,也没有麻醉师,更没有那些稀奇古怪的仪器设备。只有莎娜芭躺在一张脏兮兮的褥子上,身下什么也没垫着,阿里和接生婆在旁边帮手。她根本就不需要任何帮助,因为,即使在降临人世的时候,哈桑也是不改本色——他无法伤害任何人。几声呻吟,数下推动,哈桑就出来了。脸带微笑地出来了