介绍:
By the end of August, there was detente, if not peace, in our household. Although I was heartbroken and disappointed with Bill, my long hours alone made me admit to myself that I loved him. What I still didn&`&t know was whether our marriage could or should last. I hadn&`&t decided whether to fight for my husband and my marriage, but I was resolved to fight for my President.
到了8月底，我们家庭里才有了缓和，虽然还不是和平。我对比尔痛心而失望，但历经长时间独处反思后，我承认自己依然爱他。我们的婚姻能否继续维持下去我也不知道。我还没有决定是否为我的丈夫和我的婚姻而战，但我已下决心为总统而战。
I had to get a grip on my feelings and focus on what I needed to do for myself. Fulfilling my personal and public obligations drew on a reservoir of different emotions― requiring different thinking and different judgments. For over twenty years, Bill had been my husband, my best friend, my partner in all of life&`&s trials and joys. He was a loving father to our daughter. Now, for reasons he will have to explain, he had violated my trust, hurt me deeply and given his enemies something real to exploit after years of enduring their false charges, partisan investigations and lawsuits.
我必须抚平百感交集的心绪，专注于亟待处理的切身要务，且要以不同的角度来考虑事情，做出不落窠臼的判断，履行对自己及国家的义务。过去二十多年来，比尔不仅是我的丈夫，也是我最要好的朋友、同甘共苦的伙伴，是我女儿心目中的慈父。比尔的政敌多年来只能捕风捉影，捏造一些无中生有的指控，继而针对我们采取徇私偏颇的调查与诉讼。而如今，他得不断解释，比尔不仅深深地伤害了我，辜负了我的信赖，而且授政敌以群起攻击的实质把柄。
My personal feelings and political beliefs were on a collision course. As his wife, I wanted to wring Bill&`&s neck. But he was not only my husband, he was also my President, and I thought that, in spite of everything, Bill led America and the world in a way that I continued to support. No matter what he had done, I did not think any person deserved the abusive treatment he had received. His privacy, my privacy, Monica Lewinsky&`&s privacy and the privacy of our families had been invaded in a cruel and gratuitous manner. I believe what my husband did was morally wrong. I also knew his failing was not a betrayal of his country.
比尔的背叛导致我的私人情感与政治理念激烈交锋。如果仅作为他的妻子，我真恨不得拧断他的脖子，但他不只是我的丈夫，他同时也是美国的总统。无论如何，他领导美国与国际社会的风范依然让我衷心敬佩。我也认为，不管他做了什么，都不应蒙受政敌的百般凌辱。然而，他的隐私、我的隐私、莫妮卡·莱温斯基的隐私和我们这些家庭的隐私，都已无端遭到残酷无情的侵害。当然比尔的行为有违道德，不过我也知道他令人失望的作为并未严重到叛国的程度。
Everything I had learned from the Watergate investigation convinced me that there were no grounds to impeach Bill. If men like Starr and his allies could ignore the Constitution and abuse power for ideological and malicious ends to topple a President, I feared for my country.
从水门事件调查中我所学到的一切让我相信,没有理由弹劾比尔。如果像斯塔尔和他的盟友那样的人不顾宪法，想要滥用意识形态的力量来恶意推翻总统,那么我真得担心我的国家。
Bill&`&s Presidency, the institutional Presidency and the integrity of the Constitution hung in the balance. I knew what I did and said in the next days and weeks would influence not just Bill&`&s future and mine, but also America&`&s. As for my marriage, it hung in the balance, too, and I wasn&`&t at all sure which way the scale would, or should, tip.
比尔能否保住其总统职权？美国宪法可否维系于不坠？这一切殊难逆料。但我可以肯定，这段期间我的一切言行，都将影响比尔与我及国家的未来。至于我的婚姻问题则暂时悬而不决。究竟事情最终会如何发展，我丝毫没有概念。
Life moved on, and I moved with it. I accompanied Bill to Moscow for another state visit on September 1 and then on to Ireland to meet Tony and Cherie Blair and to walk the streets of Omagh where the bombing occurred.
日子终究还是要过，我只得振作精神重拾起生活。9月1日，我陪着比尔到莫斯科做又一次的出国访问，然后去爱尔兰会见托尼和切丽布莱尔夫妇，走在曾经发生过爆炸案的奥马街头。
The huge contingent of reporters who followed the President to Russia and Ireland was looking for more than a peace mission story. They were watching both of us closely for clues to the state of our marriage. Did we stand close together or apart? Was I frowning or crying behind dark glasses? And what was the significance of the knitted sweater I bought for Bill in Dublin, which he wore to Limerick for his first golf game in more than a month? I desperately wanted to restore a zone of privacy for myself and my family, but I wondered if that would ever be possible again.
跟随总统到俄罗斯和爱尔兰的庞大记者队伍寻找的不仅仅是和平使命的故事。他们密切注视着我们寻觅我们婚姻状况的蛛丝马迹。我们是站在一起还是分开站？我皱没皱眉或是否在墨镜后面流眼泪？我在都柏林买给比尔的针织毛衣的意义是什么？在一个多月里，比尔也曾穿着那件针织毛衣去利默里克进行他的第一次打高尔夫。我迫切地想为自己和我的家人找到一个隐私保护区，但我想知道那是否能成为可能。
By the time we returned to the White House, there were several challenges on my mind, personal and political. Bill and I had agreed to participate in regular marital counseling to determine whether or not we were going to salvage our marriage. On one level, I was emotionally shell—shocked and trying to deal with the raw wound I had suffered. On another level, I believed Bill was a good person and a great President. I viewed the independent counsel&`&s assault on the Presidency as an ever escalating political war, and I was on Bill&`&s side.
我们回到白宫的时候，关于我个人还有政治方面，我脑子里还是有一些挣扎。比尔与我决意定期参与婚姻问题咨询会，以权衡应否挽救我们的婚姻。在一个层面上，我是感性的人，对自己一连串的遭遇感到震惊，努力想去处理好。另一个层面，我相信比尔是个好人，更是个伟大的总统。针对比尔的政治斗争已势如燎原烈火，我必须站在比尔这一边。
On September 9, Starr&`&s deputies drove two vans to the Capitol steps and delivered copies of the over 119,000-oard "Starr report," complete with thirty-six boxes of supporting documents, to the sergeant-at-arms. Starr&`&s piece of grandstanding was appalling; the quick decision by the House Rules Committee to make the entire report available on the Internet, even more so.
9月9日，斯塔尔的副手们开了两部面包车前往国会山，提交十一万余言的所谓“斯塔尔报告”，还附上三十六箱的辅助说明文件。斯塔尔的盛大其事着实骇人听闻，国会很快通过决议将其对外公布，甚至更多其他的内容。
At a White House prayer breakfast with religious leaders in early September, Bill offered an emotional admission of his sins and a plea for forgiveness from the American people. But he would not give up his office.
9月初的一天，我们在白宫的国家祈祷早餐会上与宗教界领袖面谈，比尔满怀诚心地告白自己的罪过，同时祈求美国人民宽恕。他也表明不会辞职下台。
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