介绍:
【前言】剧本，内容略删节~~
PHOEBE: Hey. Watcha guys doin?
RICHARD: Monica's making us watch Old Yeller.
PHOEBE: Why are you guys so upset? It's Old Yeller, it's a happy movie.
RACHEL: What?
ROSS: What're you talkin' about?
PHOEBE: C'mon, happy family gets a dog, frontier fun.
ROSS: Yeah but Phoebs, what about the end?
PHOEBE: What when Yeller saves saves the family from the wolf and everyone's happy?
RACHEL: That's not the end.
PHOEBE: Yu-huh. That's when my mother would shut off the TV and say 'The end'.
MONICA: What about the part where he has rabies?
PHOEBE: He doesn't have rabies, he has babies. That's what my mom said.
RICHARD: Uh, Phoebe, I don't think your mom would want you to see what's about to happen.
PHOEBE: What, what's about to happen? [starts watching] I've never seen this part before. Hey, Travis, watcha doin' with that gun? Oh no, no no Travis, put down the gun. No no no no, he he's your buddy, he's your Yeller, no, no no, the end, THE END.
MONICA: Hey, have you guys eaten, because uh, Richard and I just finished and we've got leftovers... Chicken and potatoes... What am I wearing?...Actually, nothing but rubber gloves.
JOEY: Ya know, one of these times you're gonna really be naked and we're not gonna come over.
MONICA: Alright, I've got a leg, three breasts and a wing.
CHANDLER: Well, how do you find clothes that fit?
JOEY: Oh, hey, Monica, we've got a question.
MONICA: Alright, for the bizillionth time, yes I see other women in shower at the gym, and no I don't look.
JOEY: No, not that one. We're trying to figure out who to bring to the Knicks game tonight, we have an extra ticket.
CHANDLER: Yeah, Ross can't go so it's between my friend Eric Prower who has breath issues and Dan with the poking. [starts poking Monica in the shoulder] 'Did you see that play? Do you want some more beer? Is that Spike Lee?'
MONICA: Ok. [Richard walks in] Hey, why don't you ask Richard?
JOEY: Ok, uh, hey Richard, if you had an extra ticket to the Knicks game and you had to choose between a friend who smells and one who bruises you who would you pick?
RICHARD: Wow. Well being a huge Knicks fan myself, I think you should take someone who's a huge Knicks fan.
CHANDLER: Ok, that's Eric.
RICHARD: Glad to be of help. Matches.
MONICA: I meant, why don't you take Richard to the game? What?
JOEY: I don't know.
MONICA: C'mon. Keeps his fingers to himself and he's always minty fresh.
CHANDLER: I don't know, Richard's really nice and everything, uh, it's just that we don't know him really well, ya know, and plus he's, ya know, old [Monica gives him a glare] -er than some people, but, uh, younger than some buildings.
MONICA: So what, he's a little older, big deal, I mean he's important to me. Ya know if you ask him, he might take you on his Jag.
JOEY: How do we say yes now and make it seem like we're not doin' it just to ride in the cool car?
CHANDLER: Ok, this could be tough.
JOEY: [Monica walks back in the kitchen] Ok ok ok ok. Monica, we'll bring him, but only if he takes the Jaguar.
CHANDLER: Ooh, you almost had it.
……
ROSS: Ok, we were sitting over there playing on the floor and he grabs the table and he pulls himself up. He pulled himself up. Standing man. I'm sorry you guys missed it but I did tape it so it you guys want to see it.
CAROL: Uhh, we know, he already did it last week.
SUSAN: You can watch our tape if you want.
ROSS: I don't believe this. I miss, I miss the first time of everything. I missed, what, the first time he rolled over, the first time he crawled. What else did I miss? Has he spoken yet, is he driving, does he have a favorite liquour?
CAROL: Actually, he is getting closer on the talking thing. He can't quite say mama yet, but once he said yumen.
ROSS: Ooh, I, I'm so sick of missing stuff. Ya know, I want him for more than, than a day, I want him for a whole weekend. No listen , I mean, I feel like-
CAROL and SUSAN: Great. That would be fine.
ROSS: Really? I mean, I, I had a whole speach prepared.
SUSAN: Oh shout, that would have been fun.
ROSS: Oh look, did, did you just see that? Did you see? He just waved, he just waved, he's never waved before, you've never waved before. Yes he has. Very good.
……
MONICA: Hey. Where is he, where's Richard? Did you ditch him?
JOEY: Yeah right after we stole his lunch money and gave him a wedgie. What's the matter with you, he's parking the car.
MONICA: So'd you guys have fun?
CHANDLER: Your boyfriend is so cool.
MONICA: Really?
CHANDLER: Yeah, he let us drive his Jaguar. Joey for 12 blocks, me for 15.
RACHEL: Wow, he must like you the best.
JOEY: Oh, what about that thing he did when he tipped the guy who showed us to our seats. You never even saw the money, it was like this. [With money in his palm] Hey Chandler, thanks for showing us to our seats
CHANDLER: You're welcome. Hey Joey, thanks for parking the car.
……
ROSS: Look it's the artist formerly known as Chandler.
CHANDLER: Just tryin' somethin' here, ya know.
MONICA: So Joey, why didn't you grow a moustache?
JOEY: Oh we flipped for it. I got the cigar, he got the moustache. Figured if we both grew it, we'd look like dorks.
ROSS: Yeah, you really sidestepped that land mine.
CHANDLER: Hey listen, we've gotta go, I promised Richard we'd meet him downstairs.
MONICA: You're meeting Richard?
JOEY: Yeah, we're goin' to a Ranger game.
CHANDLER: Yeah, didn't he tell ya?
MONICA: Well, he told me he was going out with the guys, I just didn't know that you were the guys.
CHANDLER: You hear that? We're the guys.
JOEY: We're the guys.
MONICA: With that moustache doesn't Chandler remind you of Aunt Sylvia?
ROSS: Thank you.
ROSS: Hi, we're visitiing. It's Ben and his da-da. Da-da. Can you say da-da? Look, I'm gonna tell your momies you said it anyway so you might as well try.
RACHEL: No luck huh?
ROSS: Naa. A while ago I got a sah out of him, which I thought, ya know, might turn into sah-condary caregiver but... Hey, would you uh, would you hold him for a sec, 'cause I, I gotta take this off.
RACHEL: Oh, yeah sure, Ok.
ROSS: What're you doing?
RACHEL: Uh, I'm holding Ben.
ROSS: Yeah, well, he's a baby not a bomb.
RACHEL: Ok.
ROSS: Well just hold him like you'd hold a football.
RACHEL: This is how I would hold a football.
ROSS: Ok, here, here. There we go.
RACHEL: Ok, I'm sorry, I'm just not very good with babies. I mean I haven't been around them, I mean, you know, since I was one.
ROSS: It's alright, it's no big deal.
RACHEL: Really?
ROSS: Yeah, definitely, I'm sure you'll feel totally different when it's our baby.
RACHEL: What?
ROSS: What?
RACHEL: You think about stuff like that?
ROSS: Uhh, yeah. I mean, actually I kinda think that we'll have, we'll have two babies.
RACHEL: Two, two babies?
ROSS: Yeah. Ya know, a boy and a girl. Hopefully the girl will come first so Ben here won't feel too competitive.
RACHEL: Then what's gonna happen?
ROSS: Well, we won't wanna raise kids in the city so we'll probably move to uh, Scarsdale.
RACHEL: Uh-huh.
ROSS: Yeah, that way I figure, ya know, we'll be far enough away from our parents that we don't have to see them all the time but close enough that they can come over and babysit whenever we want. And yes, I know, the taxes are a little higher than, let's say, Nassau county but the school system's supposedly great.
RACHEL: Wow. Wow, that's great. Great. Ok, wow, you know what.
ROSS: Huh?
RACHEL: I'm off my break now so uh, um here you take this [hands back Ben] and um, I am gonna go pour these very nice people some coffee. Ok. Oh look at that, I don't have a pot. I don't have a pot. Well, hey, maybe I've got one at home, or in Scarsdale. Hey is that a door?
PHOEBE: Hey.
RICHARD: Hey Phoebs, what's happening?
PHOEBE: Oh, ok, murder, cancer, soccer teams eating each other in the Andes.
MONICA: So you watched the movies huh?
PHOEBE: Uh huh, what is happening to the world? I mean, no no no, 'cause ET leaves, and and Rocky loses, Charlotte dies.
RICHARD: Charlotte who?
PHOEBE: With the web, the spider she dies, she does. She has babies and dies. It's like ya know, hey welcome home from the hospital, thud.
MONICA: Alright, you wanna feel better?
PHOEBE: Yeah.
MONICA: Ok, here, watch this.
PHOEBE: It's a Wonderful Life. Yes I've heard of this.
MONICA: So you can't lose, it's there in the title. Wonderfullness is baked right in.
PHOEBE: Please, I almost fell for that with, uh, Pride of the Yankees, I thought I was gonna see a film about Yankee pride and then, boom, the guy gets Lou Gehrig's disease.
RICHARD: Uh, the guy was Lou Gehrig. Didn't you kinda see it coming?
PHOEBE: Phoebe, just watch that, I promise it will resotre all your faith in humanity.
CHANDLER: [runs in] Hey, big guy, game time.
RICHARD: Hey, be right there.
MONICA: There's a game?
CHANDLER: Uh, yeah, I just got my pick-up sticks back from the shop. Bring your nerves of steel.
RICHARD: It's the basketball playoffs.
MONICA: Listen, um honey, I appreciate this but you don't have to keep hanging out with them for me, I mean, they have each other.
RICHARD: Oh, no, honey, I mean, don't worry, I like hanging out with those guys. It's fun for me. They're different than my other friends, they don't start sentences with, 'You know who just died shoveling snow?'
MONICA: Alright that's great, then just go. Go Knicks.
RICHARD: Uh, it's the college playoffs.
MONICA: Oh, then go Vassar.
RICHARD: Uh, they're not in it.
MONICA: Ok, then just go.
RICHARD: Ok. [leaves]
MONICA: Oh, why does this bother me so much? I mean I don't wanna be one of those people who tells their boyfriend they wanna spend 24 hours a day with them.
PHOEBE: Sure.
MONICA: It's just that he doesn't have that much free time, ya know, and I don't know, what do I do?
PHOEBE: Does it matter? You're ultimately just gonna die or get divorced or have to blow your pets head off.
RACHEL: [enters] Aghh.
PHOEBE: Me too. [leaves]
MONICA: I've got a question. Richard made plans again with the guys.
RACHEL: Yeah well, Ross just made plans for the whole century.
MONICA: Ya know what, I think I'm gonna go to my room and read Cosmo, maybe there's something helpful in there. Know what, at least maybe I can learn how to do an at home bikini wax with leftover Cristmas candles.
ROSS: [enters] Ok, what the hell happened back there?
RACHEL: I don't know, you tell me. One minute I'm holding Ben like a football, the next thing I know, I've got two kids, I'm living in Scarsdale complaining about the taxes.
ROSS: Well I'm sorry, I think about stuff. Ya know, I mean, you're at work, you're assembling bones, your mind wanders.
RACHEL: Ross, you have planned out the next 20 years of our lives, we've been dating for six weeks.
ROSS: C'mon, what, you never think about our future?
RACHEL: Yes, but I, I think about who's apartment we're gonna sleep at tomorrow night and, and where we're gonna have dinner next Saturday night. I do not think about what our childrens' names are gonna be. You know what our childrens names are gonna be.
ROSS: No, no, I mean, ya know, I, I read a book and there was a girl named Emily and I thought, I thought that might be good.
RACHEL: What was the book?
ROSS: The big book of childrens' names.
RACHEL: Ok, Ross, Ross, ok listen, what we have is amazing.
ROSS: Yeah.
RACHEL: But I do not want to have everything decided for me. I spent my whole life like that. It's what I had with Barry, that was one of the reasons I left. I, I like not knowing right now and I'm sorry if that scares you but if you want to be with me you are gonna have to deal with that.
ROSS: Ok fine.
RACHEL: Thank you.
ROSS: We're not done.
RACHEL: I didn't know that.
ROSS: Ok, then you're gonna have to understand that you're with a guy who's not gonna stop planning his future with you because he knows that we're gonna end up together and if that scares you, tough, 'cause you're gonna have to deal with that.
……
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