介绍:
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are there as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: (entering) Hey!
Phoebe: Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes!
(We see Joey who has puffed up his cheeks and Chandler nonchalantly reaches down and pinches Joey’s nose shut. In a few seconds, Joey has to move because he’s now forced to actually hold his breath.)
Joey: (To Chandler) Dude! What are yo—you trying to kill me?!
Rachel: (entering from her room) Pheebs, I wanna ask you something.
Phoebe: Uh-huh, what?
Rachel: Well since I’m movin’ out and-and you’re so beautiful…
Phoebe: Oh!
Rachel: …how about I move in with you?
Phoebe: Well, that would be great but then what do we do about Denise?
Monica: Who’s Denise?
Phoebe: My roommate.
Rachel: You have a roommate?!
Phoebe: Yes, Denise. Denise!
Joey: Hey, what is with the secrecy Phoebe? Huh? And what about this Denise, is she cute?
Chandler: Pheebs, I don’t understand. How can you have a roommate that none of us know anything about?
Phoebe: Maybe because you never listen to anything that I say. I talk about her all the time! DENISE!!!!!
Joey: Hey Rach, listen I was thinkin’ uh, I’m gonna have an extra room over at my place…
Rachel: Oh, that’s true.
Joey: Yeah, why don’t you move in with me? It’ll be great! We could stay up late, watch movies, and you know about Naked Thursday’s right?
Rachel: Yeah, yeah I think I’m gonna find my own place.
Chandler: Hey-hey! I thought Naked Thursday’s was just our thing man!
Opening Credits
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is reading a magazine, eating a cookie, and drinking some coffee as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey.
Ross: Hey!
Phoebe: So, what did Rachel say when you told her you were still married to her?
Ross: Oh, that. Umm, she took it really well.
Phoebe: You didn’t tell her did you?
Ross: No.
Phoebe: Of course not, because you’re in love with her.
Ross: I am not in love with her. She was very upset about having to move out so I eh, didn’t tell her we were still married because she would only get more upset. I-I just comforted her, as a friend.
Phoebe: What do you mean, comforted her?
Ross: It’s nothing, I just gave her a hug.
Phoebe: Ah-ha! A classic sign of love, the hug!
Ross: It’s also a sign of friendship.
Phoebe: Yeah, not in your case Lovey Loverson. (Tries to take a bite out of Ross’s cookie.)
Ross: (grabs back his cookie) It was a hug!
Phoebe: Okay, just tell me this, did you or did you not smell her hair?
Ross: S-s-smell her hair? What if I did?
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a women’s pheromones come out the top of her head! That’s why, that’s why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, you’re a scientist.
Ross: I was hugging her as a friend. It’s not my fault her-her hair got in my face, she’s got a lot of it and it smells all-all uh…coconutty. (Phoebe raises her eyebrows.) What?! Oh, that doesn’t mean I have feelings for Rachel! Maybe it means I have feelings for coconuts!
Phoebe: (taking his coffee) Okay, whatever you say. But just be careful, all right? Rachel’s not in the same place you are.
Ross: (grabbing back his coffee) If the place you are referring too is being in love, then she is in the same place as me because I am not in that place!
Phoebe: Okay, I didn’t understand that, but y’know, maybe that’s ‘cause you were speaking the secret language of love!
(She goes for his magazine and he grabs it away before she reaches it. But she was only using the magazine as a decoy because she grabs his cookie and coffee, takes a bite out of the cookie and drinks some of the coffee.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are there as Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey! (To Chandler) Dude, some guy just called for you.
Chandler: Who was it?
Joey: I don’t know! How about, "Thanks for taking the message." Jeez! (Exits.)
Monica: Okay listen, y’know when you move in Rachel’s room is gonna be empty, you wanna talk about what we want to do with it?
Chandler: Sure!
Monica: Okay, I was thinking we should have a beautiful guest room, right? With a mahogany sleigh bed and bedside tables with flowers on them all the time! And we could have a roll top desk with comment cards on them so people could say how much they loved staying here!! Okay, whatever, I really haven’t thought about it that much.
Chandler: Well, I like that idea. Obviously! I was thinking maybe-maybe-maybe it could be a game room, y’know? I mean you can buy old arcade games like uh, like Space Invaders and Asteroids for $200, the real ones! The big-big ones!
Monica: No.
Chandler: Okay so you mean no as in, "Gee Chandler, what an interesting idea. Let’s discuss it before we reject it completely."
Monica: Oh, I’m sorry. Of course I mean that. Interesting idea, umm, talk about it, but no.
Chandler: So, that’s it?
Monica: I just don’t think arcade games go in the beautiful guest room. The beautiful guest room is gonna be filled with antiques.
Chandler: Which is why Asteroids is perfect! It’s the oldest game!
Monica: What do you have against the beautiful guest room?
Chandler: I don’t have anything against the beautiful guest room, especially since everybody we know lives about 30 seconds away!
Monica: Are you mocking me?
Chandler: No, I’m not mocking you, (in a mocking voice) or you beautiful guest room. (Exits.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is coming from across the hall.]
Joey: Hey, what’s up?
Chandler: Nothing, Monica and I had a stupid fight.
Joey: But you’re still moving in together, right? Because my ad came out today. (Shows him the paper.)
Chandler: (reading the ad) "Wanted. Female roommate, non-smoker, non-ugly." Nice!
Joey: Yeah? I just figured y’know, after living with you it’d be an interesting change of pace to have a female roommate, y’know? Someone I can learn from, someone-someone who’s different than me. And what’s more different than me; a guy who’s not 19 than say a girl who is 19? Enh? (Points to his head.) Not just a hat rack my friend!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch staring off into space as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Pheebs, I have to ask you…
Phoebe: Shhhhhh! I’m swamped right now.
Rachel: You’re just staring into space.
Phoebe: Umm, I’m trying to move that pencil. (There’s a pencil lying on the table.)
Rachel: This one? (Picks it up.)
Phoebe: It worked!
Rachel: Pheebs, this whole apartment thing is just a nightmare! Every place I can afford comes with a roommate who is a freak. I mean, look at this; (Points to one and starts to read it.) "Wanted. Female roommate, non-smoker, non-ugly." It’s just, there is nothing! The city’s full!
Phoebe: Wait, no, look at this! (Points to one.) (Reading) "Two bedroom, two bath, must be non-smoker, Satan worshipers okay…" Oh, yeah, but it’s on the ground floor.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: Hey.
Ross: Rach, uh, you still looking for a place?
Rachel: Yeah! Why?
Ross: Okay, there’s this guy, Warren, from the museum and he’s going on a dig for like two years and he’s got this great place he needs to sublet. So uh, you interested?
Rachel: That sounds great! I’d love to live at Warren’s!! I love Warren! Thank you!
Ross: Don’t thank me! If you wanna thank something, thank the volcano that erupted thousands of years ago, killing but perfectly preserving an entire civilization. (Rachel just looks at him.) Here’s Warren’s number.
Rachel: Oh, this is great! I am gonna call him right now! (Jumps up.) Oh, thank you!
(She hugs him and he starts to hug her back but notices the look Phoebe is giving him and pushes her away.)
Ross: Okay, you go grab it!
Phoebe: I saw it.
Ross: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Phoebe: Umm, I’m talking about that which you already know but won’t admit. You love her again; you re-love her!
Ross: Look, I do not re-love her.
Phoebe: I can’t believe you won’t just admit it! (Pause) Okay, just promise me that you won’t do anything stupid.
Ross: Look, we’re just friends now! Okay? Why would I do anything stupid?
Rachel: (returning from calling Warren) Ugh!!! Well, the apartment is already subletted! I mean, this is just hopeless. I’m never gonna find anything.
Ross: You can live with me.
Rachel: What?!
Phoebe: What?!
Ross: What?
Commercial Break
[Scene: Central Perk, continued from earlier.]
Rachel: Oh my God! Are you serious?!
Ross: Uh-huh. (Phoebe grunts.)
Rachel: I would love to live with you Ross; that’s-that’s great! Thank you!
Ross: Well, I’m-I’m just glad I could, y’know, help you out.
Phoebe: Wow! I’m-I’m so happy for you guys. (To Ross) This is so-so, not stupid.
Rachel: Ross-Ross, you have no idea what this means to me! I mean, I mean I was gonna be homeless. You just saved me! You’re my hero!
Ross: Hero, I uh, I don’t know—well, all right.
Rachel: Oh, I have to go tell Monica what a wonderful brother she has! (Kisses him on the cheek and exits.)
Ross: Oh please! (He sits down.) (To Phoebe) You’re gonna say things now, aren’t ya?
Phoebe: No. No, I won’t. But I should tell you this, this exact same thing happened to my roommate Denise. She moved in with a guy who was secretly married to her and he said he didn’t love her, but he really did, and it just blew up! And that’s how she ended up living with me! (Ross looks at her.) (Pause) Okay, that’s a lie.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is in the kitchen as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: Hi.
Monica: Hi.
Chandler: Hi, listen, I’m sorry about before. I don’t need to have a game room. I mean when I was a kid I only played those games because I couldn’t get girls, and now I can ‘em—Now, I have you. (Monica glares at him.) Not-not that I think that I have you or think of you as property in any sort of way, I see women…
Monica: Stop it Chandler. (Chandler is relieved) I’m sorry too.
Chandler: Really?
Monica: Yeah! Oh yes!
Chandler: Ohh.
Monica: Listen, we don’t have to make that a guest room, we can think of something to do with the room together.
Chandler: That’s a great idea! We can easily think of a way for us both to enjoy the room.
Monica: Totally!
(They start thinking.)
Chandler: We don’t have to come up with this now.
Monica: Oh good.
Chandler: Hey, y’know what? Why don’t we think about changes we can make in the living room?
Monica: Changes?
Chandler: Yeah, I mean we’re gonna have to move around some furniture to make room for my chair. (Kisses her and heads into the living room.)
Monica: You’re-you’re-you’re gonna bring the Barca Lounger over here?
Chandler: Is that a problem?
Monica: Well, it’s a set and they should probably stay together.
Chandler: Oh, that’s cool. Then I’ll just bring them both over.
Monica: See now-now you’re taking them away from their home.
Chandler: Okay, I get it. So, I get nothing! Nothing here is mine! Everything here is yours! I’ll get up in the morning put on your clothes, and head off to work!
Monica: Yeah-yeah, y’know what? Yeah, that’s it-that’s it, everything will be mine! Nothing will be yours! That’s-that’s what I said! Oh come on, Chandler! I’m talking about the barca lounger! It just, it doesn’t match! Where is it gonna go?!
Chandler: In the game room!
Monica: Look it is not my fault that your chairs are incredibly ugly!
Chandler: All right! That’s fine! That’s fine! I won’t bring over the chairs! I won’t bring anything over! I wouldn’t want to ruin the ambiance over here at Grandma’s place!! (Storms out.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is interviewing a potential roommate. And yes, she’s a female, non-smoker and very non-ugly.]
……
大家还在听
