[Scene: Monica and Rachel&`&s, the group is coming back from the roof.]
Rachel: I loved the moment when you first saw the giant dog shadow all over the park.
Phoebe: Yeah, but did they have to shoot him down? I mean, that was just mean.
Monica: Ok, right about now the turkey should be crispy on the outside, juicy on the inside. Why are we standing here?
Rachel: We&`&re waiting for you to open the door. You got the keys.
Monica: No I don&`&t.
Rachel: Yes, you do. When we left, you said, "got the keys."
Monica: No I didn&`&t. I asked, "got the ke-eys?"
Rachel: No, no, no, you said, "got the keys".
Chandler: Do either of you have the keys?
Monica: (panicked) The oven is on.
Rachel: Oh, I gotta get my ticket!
Joey: Wait, wait, we have a copy of your key.
Monica: Well then get it, get it!
Joey: That tone will not make me go any faster.
Monica: (angry) Joey!
Joey: That one will.
Monica: Can you go any faster with that?
Joey: Hey, I got one keyhole and about a zillion keys. You do the math.
Monica: Why do you guys have so many keys in there anyway?
Chandler: (sarcastic) For an emergency just like this.
Monica: I swear you said you had the keys.
Rachel: No, I didn&`&t. I wouldn&`&t say I had the keys unless I had the keys, and I obviously didn&`&t have the keys.
Phoebe: Ooh, ok, that&`&s it. Enough with the keys. No one say keys.
(Short pause.)
Monica: Why would I have the keys?
Rachel: Aside from the fact that you said you had them?
Monica: But I didn&`&t.
Rachel: Well, you should have.
Monica: Why?
Rachel: Because!
Monica: Why?
Rachel: Because!
Monica: Why? Because everything is my responsibility? Isn&`&t it enough that I&`&m making Thanksgiving dinner for everyone? You know, everyone wants a different kind of potatoes, so I&`&m making different kinds of potatoes. Does anybody care what kind of potatoes I want? Nooooo, no, no! (starting to cry) Just as long as Phoebe gets her peas and onions, and Mario gets his tots, and it&`&s my first Thanksgiving, and it&`&s all burned, and, and I... I...
Chandler: I&`&d like to propose a toast. Little toast here, ding ding. I know this isn&`&t the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me,this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn&`&t involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you&`&d gone to Vail, and if you guys&`&d been with your family, if you didn&`&t have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn&`&t be all together, you know? So I guess what I&`&m trying to say is that I&`&m very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.
All: That&`&s so sweet.
Ross: And hey, here&`&s to a lousy Christmas.
Rachel: And a crappy New Year.
Chandler: Here, here!