【老友记113】①Your dad's in love big time.

Ronni: Look, I uh, I shouldn'ta come. I-I'd better get going, I don't wanna miss the lasttrain. Mr. Tribbiani: I don't want you taking that thing. Ronni: Oh, where'm I gonna stay, here? Joey: Who-ah-ho. Mr. Tribbiani: We'll go to a hotel. Ronni: (Shrugs) We'll go to a hotel. Joey: No you won't. Ronni: No we won't. Joey: If you go to a hotel you'll be...doing stuff. I want you right here where I can keep aneye on you. Mr. Tribbiani: You're gonna keep an eye on us? Joey: That's right, mister, and I don't care how old you are, as long as you're under my roofyou're gonna live by my rules. And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend. Ronni: Wow. He's strict. Joey: Now dad, you'll be in my room, Ronni uh, you can stay in Chandler's room. Ronni: Thanks. You're, uh, you're a good kid. Chandler: C'mon, I'll show you to my room. ...That sounds so weird when it's not followed by "No thanks, it's late." Joey: Okay. Now this is just for tonight. Starting tomorrow, you gotta make a change. Thishas gone on long enough. Mr. Tribbiani: What kinda change? Joey: Well, either you break it off with Ronni Mr. Tribbiani: I can't do that! Joey: Then you gotta come clean with Ma! This is not right! Mr. Tribbiani: Yeah, but this is Joey: I don't wanna hear it! Now go to my room! ​ Joey: Sure. So how long you been... Mr. Tribbiani: Remember when you were a little kid, I used to take you to the navy yard andshow you the big ships? Joey: Since then?! Mr. Tribbiani: No, it's only been six years. I just wanted to put a nice memory in your headso you'd know that I wasn't always such a terrible guy. ...Joe. Y'ever been in love? Joey: ...I d'know. Mr. Tribbiani: Then y'haven't. You're burning your tomatoes. Joey: You're one to talk. (Puts the mushrooms in a saucepan) Mr. Tribbiani: Joe, your dad's in love big time. And the worst part of it is, it's with twodifferent women. Joey: Oh man. Please tell me one of 'em is Ma. Mr. Tribbiani: Of course, course one of 'em's Ma. What's the matter with you. Joey: Hold on, you-you knew? Mrs. Tribbiani: Of course I knew! What did you think? Your father is no James Bond. Youshould've heard some of his cover stories. "I'm sleeping over at my accountant's," I mean, what is that? Please! Joey: So then how could you I mean, how could you?! Mrs. Tribbiani: Do you remember how your father used to be? Always yelling, always yellingnothing made him happy, nothing made him happy, not that wood shop, not those stupidlittle ships in the bottle, nothing. Now he's happy! I mean, it's nice, he has a hobby. Joey: Ma, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but... what the hell are you talking about?! Imean, what about you? Mrs. Tribbiani: Me? I'm fine. Look, honey, in an ideal world, there'd be no her, and yourfather would look like Sting. And I'll tell you something else. Ever since that poodle-stuffercame along, he's been so ashamed of himself that he's been more attentive, he's been moreloving... I mean, it's like every day's our anniversary. Joey: I'm...happy...for you? Mrs. Tribbiani: Well don't be, because now everything's screwed up. I just want it the way itwas. Joey: Ma, I'm sorry. I just did what I thought you'd want. Mrs. Tribbiani: I know you did, cookie. Oh, I know you did. So tell me. Did you see her? Joey: Yeah. You're ten times prettier than she is.