为你读英语美文·第308期:《只是孩子》| 在摇滚教母和天才摄影师的故事里遇见自己
主播:Dreamer
坐标:北京
Just Kids 《只是孩子》
作者:帕蒂·史密斯(Patti Smith)
译者:刘奕
On other days, we would visit art museums.
别的日子,我们会去参观美术馆。
There was only enough money for one ticket, so one of us would go in, look at the exhibits, and report back to another.
我俩的钱只够买一张票的,所以两人中会有一个进去看展览,回来讲给另一个听。
On one such occasion, we went to the relatively new Whitney Museum on the Upper East Side.
有一次,我们去了上东区相对较新的惠特尼博物馆。
It was my turn to go in, and I reluctantly entered without him.
这次轮到我了,我不情愿地留下他自己走了进去。
I no longer remember the exhibit, but I do recall peering through one of the museum's unique trapezoidal windows, seeing Robert across the street, leaning against a parking meter, smoking a cigarette.
我已经不记得那里都展了些什么,只记得我透过一扇博物馆特有的梯形窗户,端详着街对面的罗伯特,他正斜倚在一个停车收费器上,抽着烟。
He waited for me, and as we headed toward the subway he said," One day we'll go in together, and the work will be ours."
等我出来,我们朝地铁走去,他说:“我们总有一天会一起进去,而且是去看我们自己的展览。”
For my 21st birthday, Robert made me a tambourine, tattooing the goatskin with astrological signs and tying multicolored ribbons to its base.
我二十一岁生日的时候,罗伯特给我做了一面山羊皮的小铃鼓,鼓上刺着星座标志,鼓身上绑着彩色的缎带。
He put on Tim Buckley singing " Phantasmagoria in Two", then he knelt down and handed me a small book on the tarot that he had rebound in black silk.
他播放着蒂姆巴克利唱的一分为二的幻觉效应,然后单膝跪地,递给我一本他用黑丝绸重新装订过的关于塔罗牌的小书。
Inside it he inscribed a few lines of poetry, portraying us as the gypsy and the fool, one creating silence, one listening closely to the silence.
他在书中题了几行诗,把我俩描写成了吉普赛人和傻子,一个创造寂静,一个聆听寂静。
In the clanging swirl of our lives, these roles would reverse many times.
在我们铿锵作响的生命漩涡中,这样的角色将会交换多次。
The boy I had met was shy and inarticulate.
我遇到的这个男孩羞怯而不善言辞。
He liked to be led, to be taken by the hand and enter wholeheartedly another world.
他喜欢被引领,喜欢被牵着手全心全意地进入另一个世界。
He was masculine and protective, even as he was feminine and submissive.
即使在他表现地阴柔、驯服的时候,也富于阳性美和保护欲。
Meticulous in his dress and demeanor, he was also capable of a frightening disorder within his work.
他在衣着和举止上都一丝不苟,却能在作品里表现出骇人的混乱。
His own worlds were solitary and dangerous, anticipating freedom, ecstasy and release.
他在自己孤单而危险的世界里,期待着自由、狂喜与解脱。
Robert trusted in the law of empathy, by which he could, by his will, transfer himself into an object or a work of art, and thus influence the outer world.
罗伯特相信移情法则,那使他能按自己的意愿,将自我转移到一个客体或一件艺术品上,从而影响周遭的世界。
He did not feel redeemed by the work he did. He did not seek redemption. He sought to see what others did not, the projection of his imagination.
他不曾通过他的作品得到救赎,他也不寻求救赎。他设法去看别人所看不到的,那独属于他自己的想象力的投射。
Robert responded as my beloved twin. His dark curls merged with the tangle of my hair as I shuddered tears.
罗伯特就像一个我心爱的孪生兄弟。在我颤抖落泪时,他深色的卷发和我纠结的头发融为一体。
Both of us had given ourselves to others.
我们都曾把自己交予过他人。
We vacillated and lost everyone, but we had found one another again.
我们犹豫不决并失去了所有人,但我们又重新找回了彼此。
We wanted, it seemed, what we already had, a lover and a friend to create with, side by side. To be loyal, yet be free.
看起来,我们所追寻的正是已拥有的,一个可以并肩创作的爱人和朋友。忠诚,自由。
One late afternoon, we were walking down Eighth Street when we heard "Because the Night" blasting from one storefront after another.
一天傍晚,我们走过第八街,听到《因为夜晚》从一家接一家的店铺破门而出。
Robert was the first listener after we recorded the song.
这首歌录完后,罗伯特成为了它的第一个听众。
I had a reason for that. It was what he always wanted for me.
对此我是有理由的,这是他对我一直以来的期望。
In the summer of 1978, it rose to number 13 on the Top 40 chart, fulfilling Robert's dream that I would one day have a hit record.
在一九八七年的夏天,它上升到top 40 榜的第十三名,实现了罗伯特对我有朝一日做出一张热门唱片的梦想。
Robert was unabashedly proud of my success.
罗伯特毫不掩饰为我的成功而感到的骄傲。
What he wanted for himself, he wanted for us both.
这是他自己所期望的,也是他为我们俩所期望的。
He exhaled a perfect stream of smoke, and spoke in a tone he only used with me—a bemused scolding—admiration without envy, our brother-sister language. He drawled,"Patti, you got famous before me."
他吐出一柱完美的烟雾,然后用一种他只有和我才会用的语气——一种假装的责备,不带嫉妒的羡慕——用我们的兄妹语言,说:“帕蒂, 你比我先出名啦。”
▎节目背后的故事
Dreamer是永清大学时的口语和口译搭档。七年前永清和Dreamer去库布里克书店,Dreamer无意中读到《只是孩子》,深受感染。近来,永清邀请搭档录节目,Dreamer第一时间想到了这本书。时光流逝,《只是孩子》的故事仍然让人“永远年轻,永远热泪盈眶”。七年后,这份感动在这一刻分享给了更多的朋友。大学毕业9年了,“只是孩子”的精神鼓舞着天南海北的我们,坚定地走在各自追求的道路上。
▎主播介绍
Dreamer: 毕业于西安外国语大学,香港理工大学,现在是大学英语老师
主播:Dreamer,制作:永清
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