【美剧】查莉成长日记S1-3

Charlie Teddy Hi, Charlie. it's your big sister Teddy with my video diary. So today, I want to talk to you about best friends. You bragging about me again? Ivy Huh. yeah, this is Ivy. she's my BFF. I'm also her hero, The wind beneath her wings, the hip in her hop, The peanut to her butter. - - - I am-- - the mouth that wouldn't shut. Let's see how we're looking. Perfect! - - - I'd date us. - I'd marry us. So what's the big news? you are not gonna believe what I did for you I saw the cutest guy working at the mall food court And pause for dramatic effect Tomorrow I'm going to talk to him. How is this something you're doing for me? Maybe he has a friend. the cute ones always have a friend. I mean, I have you, right? Hi, girls. What you doing? Nothin'. - Ivy - - How's it going, Ivy? - Real good. Ignore her. she'll go away. You girls are always on those phones. - - - Who are you texting now? - Nobody. I wish I could do that. Hey, then you and I could text each other. Wouldn't that be fun? Oh my gosh, mom, I'd love that! Eww! - - - I don't think I can text from this phone. - oh, well. Duncan Sure you can, Miss D. what's your number? 555-0134 555-0134. Not ignoring. What is that noise? I just sent you a text. Just hit that button to read it. Well, look at that. Ivy Oh, that's funny, Ivy. "lol" Then your response is "lol." “” "laugh out loud." No-- no, mom. you don't do it, you type it. Or if you want to get a little saucy, You can wink. Not there. There. Just a semicolon and parentheses. Oh, that does look like a wink. I can't believe I'm finally a texter. Let's see if it works from the kitchen! - "WHYD" - - "WHYD"? - What have you done? Day's all burnt toast Running late,and dad says Has anybody seen my left shoe I close my eyes, take a bite Grab a ride, laugh out loud There it is up on the roof I've been there, I've survived So just take my advice Hang in there, baby, things are crazy But I know your future is bright Hang in there, Baby There is no maybe Eveything turns out all right Sure life is up and down But trust me, it comes back all around You're gonna love who you turn out to be Hang in there, Baby Good Luck Charlie S01E03 The Curious Case of Mr. Dabney Yeah! Yeah, this is way more fun since you've learned how to clap. Don't ignore me! When I tell you to do something, I expect you to do it! Get off my back, woman! You want me off your back? I can arrange that. Charlie Dabney Charlie, those are our neighbors, the Dabneys. They've been married a long time. PJ Dabney Hey, PJ, I just kicked the football into the Dabneys' backyard. Will you go get it? No way! they're going at it again. - - - Well, what about the football? - Who cares? It's gone. Kiss it goodbye. Well, I'm glad to hear you say that Because it was your football. Ha! I warned you! That's what you get for being a bad husband! And now you're dead! Is somebody out here? Who's out here? - - - Where's the football? - Forget the football! DabneyDabney Mrs Dabney just murdered Mr Dabney! What?! I heard her talking to his corpse. It was chilling. Just so I'm clear, you didn't get the football? - Gabe - - I'm serious, Gabe. - Come on. Dabney Mrs Dabney may be a mean, vicious, cruel, horrible, nasty old witch, But she'd never do something like that. - - - You don't believe me? - No. Fine. fine, I'll prove it. Gabe Come here, Gabe. Hello? Dabney Is Mr Dabney home? He... can't come to the phone. Interesting. Who is this? Uh-- I'm some sort of salesman. Gabe Gabe, is that you? Gabe Why would you assume my name is gabe? Because I have caller ID. Gabe Oh. then yeah, it's Gabe. Hey! Whoo! She's cool under pressure, I'll give her that. - PJ - Gabe - PJ, she's not a murderer. - I heard what I heard, gabe. Why don't you believe me? Because you're you and you get things wrong. What are you saying, that I'm dumb? Well, no. You're just not very... - - - thinky. - thinky? Gabe Gabe, why would you say something like that? 'cause mom said I can't call you dumb. It is so pathetic. My mom's in the kitchen texting away. Gosh, I'd hate to be on the other end of that conversation. Who are you texting? - - - Your mom. - I am so sorry. Look, I promise I'll get her out of your hair. No, it's okay. Your mom's cool. My mom is what? And she's really funny. My mom is what? Wait, that's her again. What are you talking about with my mom? - - - Nothing. - Nothing?! That's what we say to her! "lol" Hold on, I have to "lol" her. "lol" Okay, well "lol" has officially lost all meaning. I'm sorry. is this a problem for you? No, I just think it's a little bit inappropriate. Inappropriate? Now you sound like my mother. Well, how would you know what your mother sounds like? You've been spending so much time with mine! What are you getting so whacked about? You didn't want to text her. Well yeah, that's because she's my mom, not my friend. Wouldn't you be weirded out if I was texting your mom? Yes. Because she doesn't have a cell phone. T Look, T, if you're not cool with this, I'll just stop. No no, I don't care. I mean, it's a free country. Go crazy-- text my mom, Helen IM my dad, video-chat my aunt Helen. Helen Ooh! your aunt Helen? Your mom says she is da bomb diggitty! “” My mom really said "da bomb diggitty"? Well, I may have added that part. PJ PJ, you've got to stop watching these mysteries. Dabney Not until i figure out how to catch Mrs Dabney. These old movies are gonna help me do that. That's like saying cartoons will teach you how to run through walls. Learned that the hard way. Mom! Can you get that?! Sure, I'll get the door. I am a lot closer to it. Dabney Hello, Mrs. dabney. - - - Hello. - Come on in. Heads up! killer in the house. What have they done this time? For once, nothing-- that I know of. It's nice to see you too. I'd like to speak with your husband, please. I'll let him know you're here. I'm a texter now. I'm texting. Really speeds things up. Somebody lose a ball today? Dabney Possibly. Did you lose anything today, Mrs Dabney? “doof” Honey, what does this mean "somebody's at the doof." OMG! I meant "door"! TTYL. (Talk to you later) Dabney What can I do for you, Mrs Dabney? - - - You're an exterminator, right? - pest control specialist. Maybe you can help me with a problem I'm having. How do I get the smell of death out of my house? Will you turn that TV down? So you think something died in your house? Oh, I know something is dead Well, first thing you're gonna have to do is locate and dispose of the carcass. Dabney I suppose you could get Mr Dabney to do that. Dabney Oh, Mr Dabney won't be doing anything around the house for a while-- A long while. he's... gone. You know what, would you just turn it off? What's wrong with your boys today? I just got here. Um, all right, old trick of the trade Get yourself some maple syrup, put it on the stove, Let it simmer-- that should get rid of the smell. Thank you. That's very useful information. Bye, boys. "ITBOOTP" "ITBOOTP" What does that stand for? In the bathroom out of toilet paper! TMI! (Too Much Information) I can't believe it, but you were right! Dabney Mrs Dabney did it. Wow! this is what it feels like to be right, huh? I like it! Too bad somebody had to die, but-- - - - What are we gonna do now? - I have to tell mom and dad! They're never gonna believe you. I didn't believe you and I'm 10. Well, then we need proof. Gabe And I have to warn you, Gabe, until we get that proof, Our lives may be in danger. I thought we turned that off. What'd you get for number nine? Switzerland. Well, that's odd since we're doing math. - - - Hi. - Hi. Mom, what are you doing here? You weren't supposed to pick me up at five. Teddy Teddy left a message and said to come by early “” Something about "chilling"? Yeah, that's right. Thought your mom and I could chill for a little while. Really? This is what you're doing? Yeah well, this is what we're doing, So if you will excuse us, - - - We'd like a little privacy please. - Sure. fine. I'll be in the kitchen with your mom. Come on over. Sit down next to me, girlfriend. Ivy What's this all about? Is ivy in trouble? Oh, no. Is she back on the chocolate? Ivy No no no, Ivy's fine. I just wanted to spend some time with one of the cool moms. - - - You. - Oh. Okay. I love your outfit. Where'd you get it? My closet. You are so funny. I bet you get that a lot, right? - - - No. - no? Are we done chilling? Yes. yes, we are. Because it is time to par-tay. Let's get jam started. W Yeah! come on, Miss W! Let your freak flag fly! Yeah! That's kind of loud. Could you lower that, please? Yeah. A little bit more. A little bit more. Perfect. Uh, hey, want to do something fun? I like making these video diaries for my baby sister. So how about we say hi? Charlie Teddy Hi, Charlie. it's teddy here Wentz With my new friend Mrs wentz. Hello. Let's see how we look. Ooh, I'd date us. Wouldn't you? I'm married. Okay, that's enough of that. Now, you know what? We've been doing a lot of my fun stuff. Tell me-- tell me about you. what do you like to do for fun? - - - I like to knit. - Ooh! That is so cool because... because... anything else? - - - I like to read. - Oh, yeah? Me too. What kind of stuff do you like to read? Kniiting magazines That's awesome. I mean, we have so much in common. You know, once I start reading knitting magazines, Which you're pulling out of your bag. Okay, she's gone. Here's how this is gonna go down. Charlie I'm gonna jump over the fence, you hand Charlie to me. - - - And then-- - Or I could just walk through the gate Like this. You did know there was a gate, right? Yes. would I be riding on top of it if I didn't? Now what? Now it's time to be in operation "catch a killer"... While babysitting. So, what are we looking for? Evidence, clues, a weapon. Dabney Mr Dabney's rotting corpse would be nice. Oh my gosh, that's horrible! - - - What? what do you see? - That paint color-- It's so wrong for that room! - - - I watch a lot of design shows. - Focus! - - - Look. Something's moving. - Where? By the couch, right-- right there. - - Charlie - It's a baby! - It's Charlie! Charlie No, it's not. charlie's right over-- inside the murder house! Okay, try to stay with me now Because we're going to get a little wild. Instead of knit one, purl two, We kick it up to knit one, purl three! Is that even legal? I don't know, But I just like living dangerously! Okay, I'm gonna go get something to drink. - - - Do you want anything? - Oh, not now. I'm in the zone! What you doing in here? Giving up. Did she suck the life out of you? Yeah, pretty much. Now you see why I'm always at your house. Yeah, I'm so sorry. I was being selfish with my mom. And even though I think it's a little bit weird, You can text her as much as you want. I think I got a better idea. And then, get this, If you type in a semicolon parentheses, - - - You get a-- - Winky face! I have got to get a cell phone. I like it. You put our moms together And they leave us alone. You are brilliant. See, this is why we're BFFs. I'm brilliant and you recognize it. ROTF Now if I type "ROTF." Do I actually have to roll on the floor? I thought the same thing at first, But no. This'll get her out. Charlie Charlie loves things that rattle. Charlie Okay, girl. Charlie, come on. Get the keys.