介绍:
Xiaohua: let’s talk about a little bit about parents using WeChat. Internet social network used to be young people’s new form of diary in which they can confide, but not anymore. Nowadays more and more parents start to follow their kids on WeChat and check out their “Friend Circle”. Well before asking the question I should say that nobody should treat WeChat or social network as new form of diary. Whether their parents are spying or not. Period. But you think that the whole parents getting involved in social media for their kids, as heartwarming or annoying?
Heyang: I think I am a bit of holding the middle ground here because I think it depends on whether you have a good communication channel or habit with your parents or not. And if not then it could be the fault of both sides, and I think it’s only sort of a side effect that what we see here when people are complaining that their parents are spying on them or something like that.
John: I think the issue is that the parents are using this to intrude upon their children’s lives, both in terms of when their teenagers and so in school, but also as adults. Obviously they don’t live with their parents anymore but their parents follow them on WeChat or on Weibo. And then they actively comment and maybe get in touch directly like you know you post something at midnight then your parents call you and said “Why are you still up!” I think that’s the biggest problem. And I think as a parent you have to be very very careful because that is damaging to the relationship with your children. Especially as they get older they have a greater sense of autonomy. One of the reasons they moved out of the house is because don’t want you telling them what time to go to bed. And so I think on the one hand it’s important for parents to be involved in their children’s lives and more and more we’re seeing that are lives are happening more and more online. And so as a parent if I want to involve in my child’s life as much as possible, part of that is going to be involved their life online. But like I said there’s that very very fine line, difficult for many parents I imagine, you know when do you say something and when do you not. I think really if you want to know as much about what your kids are doing, don’t say anything, unless it’s amazingly important.
Heyang: Yeah that’s a very good point and I think that’s probably a lifelong lesson for a parent to learn. Well but on the other hand I still sort of feel that for the children if they are posting this stuff online and all this is in your “Friend Circle” on WeChat and you know your parents are on the contact list then I mean come on…
Xiaohua: Why do you do that?
Heyang: Yeah I mean, it’s not really that private. I think everybody has gotten that point right now so stop complaining no .
John: Yeah. We heard the story yesterday of a kid who called the cops on his parent because he saw something that was posted on the friend circle and then said something about it or something like that. But that’s kind of like a fallacy of most social media that somehow that yeah, you’re connected to your friends but then what you’re posting is somehow not public. So really if you’re putting it on social network, I’m sorry, you have no reasonable expectation of privacy there because it’s basically broadcasting to the entire world, even that’s what you intended. Also I mean the great thing about WeChat now is maybe not before but as soon as you add someone, add a contact, it’ll give you an option just right there “do you want them in your friend circle or not.” And so for kids who read about it just turn it off.
Heyang: and also I think you can group the contact list too. So you can only publicize the friend circle according to the group. So there are many ways to keep your parents in the dark I guess. And also I think another quite interesting finding is that this is according to a report from Chongqing, interviewed 20 parents who were born in the 1960s, it says the 80% of parents say they open a WeChat account, use that only for spying on their kids, I don’t think that’s true because there are so many parents or just people in their 40s, 50s, they are having their own fun with, their own friends on WeChat. I think it’s sort of an overstatement.
John: Well, I tell you what I mean my mother originally opened a Facebook account when it became available to her. First it (Facebook) was universities, then it was high schools, then it was businesses, then now it’s just everyone. But she originally did that to keep an eye on me, I mean she would be very clear about it she said look you need to add me as a Facebook friend. I think that kind of make sense and then you know, I don’t use Facebook anymore but she uses it all the time. So I think it might be a little bit you know, I’m gonna start doing this because my kids are doing it, I need to make sure that they’re safe but actually it’s a lot of fun.
Xiaohua: Yeah, but all in all, I think this is just a discussion of generation gap, only now it’s being carried on to the internet sphere. You know what is going on off the line is still going on online. If you’re a nagging parent offline then you’re still going to keep spying or keeping track of your kids online and keep yourself being unpopular.
John: well it’s also based on the false assumption that just because my parents are old and don’t use technology that somehow technology is going to be a safe place away from them. And I think that type of idea is rapidly proving itself to be untrue.
Xiaohua: Yeah, also I think WeChat sometimes it can be a good connection tool between parents and children in you know, for example…
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