介绍:
Xiaohua: Well the first relationship that a young person enters into increases his satisfaction with life, but changes his personality only slightly, according to a recent study.
德国研究人员近日发现，一段稳定的初恋关系可以增加人们对生活的满意度，也有可能使人更加的外向。
So, people talk about first love all the time, but usually the discussions are about sentimental personal stories rather than serious research. So let’s talk about this research. Do you think it has a point?
Heyang: Um… This research is done by a German University and compares the changes in personality in life satisfaction of 312 young adults who established their first relationships or remained single in the course of four years. So, here, already I have objection to the study. So, it’s only comparing people has their first stable relationship with single people. I don’t think that’s really the point here. It should be comparing those who have been in a few relationships or something.
Xiaohua: I think it’s proving the obvious that people who in a stable relationship tend to be more satisfied.
Heyang: That I can’t fully agree either, but it seems to be the finding of this part, and I just don’t think that it’s all that useful to compare single people with, you know, those who has have their first relationship, it should be about you know after a few relationships, I mean I’d be more interested to find out what happened to those people, are they finding it OK.
Mark: Yes, there are some other questions that this raises, for example, is it the relationship that made these people more content and more social, or were they when more social to begin with, and that’s how they got into the steady relationship. I think it wasn’t addressed here by the findings, and who is in the single group as well, are they people who haven’t date at all?
Heyang: Yes, that’s the people who are new to this?
Mark: Or are they in and out of a more short-term relationship?
Heyang: That’s not being compared here, and we want to know.
Xiaohua: So, we are be exposed to a very incomplete study I suppose, but let’s just talk about first love itself cause you know people like to talk about it a lot. Do you think that a stable first love relationship has the tendency really to make people more either optimistic, or more open later?
Mark: It is going to, I think, boost their confidence at that moments while it’s happening I think it’ll be a tremendous confidence booster, similarly for those who are spurned in love say in their teenage years or whenever it might be when they are dating or something like that, or when they are in their early twenties, for those that are rejected the opposite might happen as well, you know, it might make them feel less confident about themselves. So I think that it would be very positive thing to happen to give them confidence and a sense of security, and a sense that somebody else values them, which they wouldn’t have if they didn’t enter to that first relationship.
Heyang: Yes, I think that make sense, I think when it’s your first time go over into a relationship, it becomes a very unforgettable experience no matter what, and if it’s a bad one, it’s gonna have maybe bad kind of long term effect on you, or it might change your view on the other party or, you know, those kind of things, I think it’s possible. But I think just looking at my own experience, people are gonna find it very disappointing actually, because I think it’s the stable family, household that you grow up in, that would give you the most sense of security and not feeling needy to have to be in a relationship, to have to be with someone.
Mark: Yes, but there comes a time, though, when you sort of have to strike out on your own into unknown territory.
Xiaohua: You have a point on on the one hand Heyang, you know, people are who are in a stable family, they don’t feel that they need to depend on another partner or something for happiness, but that doesn’t mean that having a good first love experiences is not important.
Heyang: Oh, that’s true.
Xiaohua: Right, the otherwise is not wrong, so I mean what I’m curious about cause you’re saying that you’re citing your own experience, what I’m
Heyang: OK
Xiaohua: curious to know is in your case do you think that your optimism, as one of our listeners Wei Enhui, this question is from her, (Heyang: Nosy!) since you’re so optimistic, what about your own, you know, first love experience, do you think that helped?
Heyang: Um… I still feel it’s open parents set the tone for me, and…Yeah, what about you, Mark? You are staring at me.
Mark: I think it’s you know, I feel like I’m watching a therapy session between you and Xiaohua
Xiaohua: Do you like to contribute as well?
Mark: Unfortunately I would love to, but we’ve run out of time.
