介绍:
Ryan: Yea, you know even in Heyang's example, seventy percent is not one hundred percent. And I think that what we’ll find years down the line, because psychology is so interesting, I feel like it's something we don't know a whole lot about. Is that people this kind of stuff does sit on maybe a spectrum. I say this because I am looking at these signs, hopefully it's not my hypochondriac tendencies, but something that I actually see some merit in. Some of the signs I really identify with is one of them being you worry so much about getting interrupted. When you are working that you never start working at all. First thing that comes to my head is my thesis. When I was working on my thesis, I had to have exact conditions. I have to had earplugs. I could not have any things pulling me out of the studying that I was trying to do. And it made it hard, because I wouldn't start my project or my thesis under these wrong conditions. It had to be perfect conditions. So, it made my life really hard just to get something like a project, or more especially, my thesis done.
Heyang: That is very interesting, Ryan! You are revealing so many sides of you to us. In comparison to you guys, I am just free as a bird. I do believe that if you are always going for, like one hundred percent, it is never going to be one hundred percent. But I have to say, I am really tenacious when I come to things that I care. For example, like this show, I get so mad when things don't meet my standard. And like with my line of work, when you care about it, then it is very hard to just let it loose. So, I think it is a kind of balance there. And I also think it is important for people not to be OCDs. But pursuing perfection in a way in your line of work because that is how advancement, social development is propelled!
Ryan: While I don't think that perfectionists think perfect is attainable. I think they just cannot rest unless there is a certain standard is met. So, we see a term crash with the actual condition. But, you know in my conversation with people who are perfectionist, like my dad, I would consider him as a perfectionist, you know, yeah, it's tiring, it's work, but at the same time, to understand circumstances, you could say, I think it can be used in a way that can be a gift. I mean, think about it, someone who has a very clean place, clean life, and clean atmosphere. All that clutters that's normally making your life lag behind is gone. Those people don't have the deal with that, sure their setting a high standard, but often we find that people to live on a higher standards, have a much better quality of life.
Heyang: Yea, maybe they are more successful as well.
YuYang: Yea, perfectionism can be a good thing, as well as bad thing. It is totally up to you. And I have read some practical tips from some researches that are never take yourself too seriously. If you think you are a cup, you will work hard to fill a cup of water. When you think you are a lake, you have to find that much water to satisfy yourself. Sometimes, maybe keep your expectation a little bit lower and you will find your life is easier.
Heyang: Yes, I think that is a good tip for perfectionist. And for OCD people, you should definitely go get professional help if that is needed. Because I think when it is a disorder, if you don't go seek professional help from a doctor, or psychologist sometimes, then I don’t think you can make your situation better.
Ryan: You know I think it is interesting because a lot of people say psychologists and doctors, what not, in this area field maybe don't know that how much or how to treat it, they can identify it. For me, for my personal belief, when it comes to something like this, it would all mentally different. We'll find we all have certain problems and certain things that are good and bad. And you know I know that everybody has these differences in how to brain chemistry works. My deal is don't try to fight it because it is a battle you will never win. You will drive yourself crazy. If you try to fight, how your brain works? But I think the real thing you can do to help yourself is embrace it and make it work towards your advantage. Find the way not to fight it, but to work with it and steer it in a direction that really help your life or find ways to deal with it but the fact is sometime it's just how life is. But I think with a little bit of embracing yourself and not seeing it as necessarily a huge problem, but something that can help you, will help you overall in your life and especially being happy.
YuYang: Oh yeah Ryan, that is so comforting. It's good to build capacity to tolerate a little bit of less control, and that makes life easier.
Heyang: Yeah, and I feel these days, often the words perfectionist and also OCD has been used in such a loose way, that I think it's abused, that a lot of people when I look at you guys what you do and I think you have the audacity to say you are a perfectionist. You… what is wrong, and yeah. So I think a lot of the time people kind of use it as a joke or to describe a situation. But as much as a free-spirited person I am, I think a degree of pursuing perfection is very important for any society to move forward and that's the part that I admire of Japanese people because I see the painstaking attention to detail and to craftsmanship and to perfection. And those things I think sometimes is so necessary and is so essential to your success. That being said, but let's comfort the little OCDs out there and the real perfectionists out there. That nobody perfect is cool and nobody cool is perfect. So maybe perfection isn't the ultimate goal but it's making yourself better.
Ryan: And there's no such thing has normal. Everybody is different; so don't ever feel bad about being who you are.
