介绍:
Heyang: A sincere invitation to meet up will be included in a busy schedule even if it means making time in between lunches and business conferences. If whoever's on the other end of the conversation not giving you an exact date but rather a "Let's meet sometime, another time" you may be on the receiving end of a polite declination, that is called "改天再约噢". So guys, how is the phase "改天再约" or "another day we meet up", how should we interpret it?
Liu Yan: Well, I think the easiest way to interpret this thing is basically "let's say goodbye and that's it."
Heyang: Hahahahaha… So cruel.
Bob: Well it's cruel whichever way you say. I mean you could come out to it and just say "Look, I don't want to talk to you again. I can't help you, go away", or you could say "Oh yeah, let's meet up another day". So it means the same. So I still think, even if you just say "let's meet another day", it's just as cruel, because you know what's being said, in the back of your mind you know what's being said.
Heyang: Should we comfort the sensitive souls and broken hearts of people that say "I was expecting another day will come and it never comes."
Liu Yan: Well, there are people like that. I certainly think of that Chinese phrase "too young too simple." Hahahaha, 太傻太天真. So sometimes you just have to know that, certain things are not meant to be taken literally. So when people say that, that just means "let's say goodbye" and that's it.
Bob: I think it gets more complicated, doesn't it? Because it's what is intended by somebody saying "let's meet another day" and what people perceive from that. Because sometimes even if I would say "we'll meet another day" meaning "we'll never gonna meet again. Thanks, goodbye." You might actually think "Oh, no, he really means it. That's great" You know. And you'll go home happy, because you've interpreted it in a different way. So I still think even once you've used this phrase, there is still plenty of room for misinterpretation. Hope, maybe the word is.
Heyang: Oh, that glimmer of hope, that is dashed.
Liu Yan: I don't know, maybe different people have different expectations. Personally, even if someone says the sentence to me in a very sincere way, I would still take it as goodbye. Cuz as far as I can see, if you really want to say "let's meet some other time", you will say something more than this. Probably say "okay, I will reach out to you on Wechat later and we'll set a date." If he adds that sentence, then I will believe what he actually means.
Heyang: Okay, so I think here is sort of a time for people to comb through their previous social experience and there are so many of these situations that you kind of really need to read between the lines and you kind of need to really read the room as well to understand what it really means. And there are some other American equivalents apparently, and it would be interesting to hear what Bob has to comment on that.
Bob: Translate them into British.
Heyang: Yes please.
Bob: So you go first with these phrases.
Heyang: Okay, so first of all, at a restaurant, when an American says "It's so good, it's so delicious, I love it.", that means a normal meal. And when it's "It's not bad", the taste was not good. And when an American says "I was a bit disappointed", and basically the food is...
Liu Yan: It's appalling.
Heyang: Yeah, yeah. So Bob, how would interpret those words, or how would you say it?
Bob: I was thinking about this earlier. I think that the more British people go over the top, the more that we say we love something, the opposite is true. So if I were to say…
Heyang: You guys are twisted.
Bob: Nonono, you just have to understand, you know. If you say "oh, that was quite nice" that means you REALLY liked it. Alright. But if we go beyond that and say "you know that was absolutely fabulous, I can't wait until we do it again.", that is for British person so disingenuous that "its never gonna happen again. I never want to see you again. Please don't take me to that restaurant. Umm, if I can I need to rush off now, because I'm feeling ill."
Heyang: You know, okay, I think in that kind of situation... Bob correct me if I'm wrong, cuz I'm not British. But I think in those kinds of situations, you need to see the body reaction, the real reaction of that person. Because...
Liu Yan: The body language.
Heyang: Yeah, in the same situation when I was in London. Yeah I was on a date, and the guy was like... Very positive comments and I was trying to get to the bottom of it. And I saw that his face was like really happy and maybe I little bit red. And I was like "hmm, maybe things are going okay". But sometimes it's so twisted that in China, like usually, guys have this excuse of saying that when a girl says NO, she actually says YES". But often, when a girl says NO, it's NO, alright. Just for those Chinese guys. Anyway, but in that situation, in the UK, I felt sometimes when a British guy saying NO, actually it means YES. And what?
Bob: Well YES means NO and NO means YES. I mean I don't think you can get very much clearer than that.
Liu Yan: Well if that's the norm, then yes, you guys are twisted. And just so you know...
Bob: You know what, I'll tell you what's the simple way of telling it, that is to see how long they breathe before they actually give you a reply. Because if they do it quick, that means they're delaying in giving you an answer, which means it's probably not the answer that you want. So just look at how they breathe.
Heyang: Hahahaha, how they breathe and the adjectives that they are throwing into this.
Bob: Yeah, just keep it low key and that's what you should do.
Liu Yan: Just so you know, Bob, you're fabulous.
Heyang: How should I interpret that?
Bob: You know what, I'm not sure.
Heyang: Liu Yan, just give it straight to us, what do you mean?
Liu Yan: He's fabulous.
Heyang: Okay, so take the word for it, is it?
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