介绍:
He Yang:
If you live far away from home, you may get homesick and if you feel happy while your parents visiting you. But a recent survey shows that half of young people living outside their hometown in China do not want parents to visit them at all. Why is that? What’s going on?
Yu Yang:
Well, according to a recent survey from the social survey center of China Youth Daily, it shows that 48% of the interviewees living away from home do not want their parents to come to visit them. Over 8% of them said they mind this very much. Among the 2002 interviewees involved, over 54% think lacking time and energy accompanying their parents is the main reason. And 67% respondents believe that people should pay visit to their parents’ home regularly. That makes sense to me. And 64 % of them suggest young people communicate with their parents more often.
Ryan:
Yeah. Mom, I didn’t take part in this survey. Just throwing that out there mom. You know, looking at this, I think on some levels yes, if I am going to be very frank, it makes sense. If your parents come to visit, let’s take me for an example. If my parents come to visit me here in Beijing, I have to take off time, I’m still in Beijing, yet, it’s a new experience for them. You know and of course it’s really nice, I’d love to show them around, she’s been here a couple times. But yeah, at the same time, it is very stressful for you, you know you are showing them around and but they are the tourists, you are not necessarily the tourist. This is your vacation you are using, well, you probably also want to be the tourist during your vacation. I think that’s understandable. But guys, keep perspective these are your parents you wouldn’t be here for them, they love you very much, enjoy the precious moments you get with them and try to put your personal “whatever” aside.
Yu Yang:
Time is just one problem. When your parents come to visit you, they need some place to live, right? So accommodation is another problem. Usually young people working in cities away from home, especially first-tier cities, such as Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou, can only afford to pay the rent of a small apartment. And sometimes they have to share rooms with others. So when the parents come for a visit, it is sometimes embarrassing for them to offer accommodation as their living space is so limited and if you book a hotel, your parents will feel embarrassed too, because they think it’s a waste of money and they think the children are not close to them any more.
Ryan:
Right. Imagine if they come to visit you, you know, they rather be staying with you than at the hotel, then they can spend as much time with you as possible.
He Yang:
Yeah and the part that I can totally understand and I also feel like even through the words when I read on the Internet about some of these young people saying that I feel a little bit ashamed that my parents come to visit me. When they see that this is the lifestyle I’m leading in a big city, it’s sort of like shattering, not only their own dreams, but the dreams of their parents to some extent. I don’ know if it’s just a Chinese thing or not, but often I think for Chinese young people, like we feel so much about what our parents, their expectations are, what they perceive for us and when they come to visit you, they think you made it in a big city, but this is what I have done for myself and that gap between reality and expectation. It just reminds you of your reality. And that’s so not pleasing.
Ryan:
Speaking an ideals though, I think you got so few precious moments on this earth, spend with the people you love, forget about the money, forget about the where their staying. Just as long as you get to see each other, that’s what really matters.
Yu Yang:
And mutual understanding. Get to know each other.
He Yang:
Yes, well you need to talk about your parents even it faces maybe the worst of your fears. Sometimes letting each other know, well just make the pain lessen. That’s what I think.
