(下拉有中英配文)
She looks in on the English patient, whose sleeping body is probably miles away in the desert; she walks down the hall and climbs into her hammock, giving it a swing as she leaves the ground.
Moments before sleep are when she feels most alive, leaping across fragments of the day, bringing each moment into the bed with her like a child with schoolbooks and pencils. The day seems to have no order until these times, which are like a ledger for her, her body full of stories and situations. Caravaggio has for instance given her something. His motive, a drama, and a stolen image.
她探进头看了一眼英国病人,他那熟睡的身躯可能已神游到了沙漠深处, 她走向走廊的那头,爬进了她的吊床,离开地面时,摇晃了它一下。
她在睡前思路最清楚,白天的情景一幕幕跃入眼帘,就像一个拿着课本和铅笔的小孩重温每一件事。只有在这个时候,白天的情景才变得有序,对她来说白天像是一张纸,她在纸上记下了满满的故事。例如,卡拉瓦焦所讲的他的一出戏,一幕偷窃的景象。
He leaves the party in a car. It crunches over the slowly curving gravel path leading out of the grounds, the automobile purring, serene as ink within the summer night. For the rest of the evening during the Villa Cosima gathering he had been looking at the photographer, spinning his body away whenever she lifted the camera to photograph in his direction. Now that he knows of its existence he can avoid it. He moves into the range of her dialogue, her name is Anna, mistress to an officer, who will be staying here in the villa for the night and then in the morning will travel north through Tuscany. The death of the woman or the woman’s sudden disappearance will only arouse suspicion. Nowadays anything out of the ordinary is investigated.
卡拉瓦焦坐上一辆汽车离开聚会。汽车嘎吱嘎吱,行驶在弯度较小的碎石路上,夜色是那样安详。那天晚上,他混进科西麦别墅的聚会时,一直在注意那个拍照的女子,每当她朝他这个方向拍照时,他就转过身子回避。他凑到了这名女子附近偷听谈话,知道她叫安娜,是一位将军的情人,将军晚上会在别墅留宿,并在第二天早上取道托斯卡纳前往北方。那个女人的死亡或是突然失踪一定会引起怀疑。目前任何异常的情况都会受到调查。
Four hours later, he runs over the grass in his socks, his shadow curled under him, painted by the moon. He stops at the gravel path and moves slowly over the grit. He looks up at the Villa Cosima, at the square moons of window. A palace of war-women.
A car beam—like something sprayed out of a hose—lights up the room he is in, and he pauses once again in mid-step, seeing that same woman’s eyes on him, a man moving on top of her, his fingers in her blonde hair. And she has seen, he knows, even though now he is naked, the same man she photographed earlier in the crowded party, for by accident he stands the same way now, half turned in surprise at the light that reveals his body in the darkness. The car lights sweep up into a corner of the room and disappear.
四个小时以后,卡拉瓦焦穿着袜子跑过草地,月光在地上映出他弯曲的身影。他在碎石路前停下脚步,缓慢地走过碎石路。他抬头看着科西麦别墅,看着透出灯光的窗户——战争中女人的宫殿。
一道汽车的灯光——像是从水管喷射出来似的——照亮了他所在的房间,他停了下来,看到那个女人的眼睛盯着他—个男人在她的身上起伏,他的手指隐没在她的金发之间。他知道她已看到了,尽管他现在光着身子,但是她知道这是她先前在人头攒动的聚会时拍下的那人,因为碰巧他摆出了同样的站姿——在灯光照亮了他隐没在黑暗中的身子时,他吃惊地半
转过身子。汽车的灯光上扬,扫向房间的一角,然后消失了。
Then there is blackness. He doesn’t know whether to move, whether she will whisper to the man fucking her about the other person in the room. A naked thief. A naked assassin. Should he move—his hands out to break a neck—towards the couple on the bed? He hears the man’s lovemaking continue, hears the silence of the woman—no whisper—hears her thinking, her eyes aimed towards him in the darkness.
接着屋里暗了下来。卡拉瓦焦既不知道该不该动,也不知道她会不会悄声告诉正在与她交欢的男人,房里还有别人。一个赤身裸体的小偷、一个赤身裸体的刺客。他该扑向床上那一对男女,伸手扭断他们的脖子吗? 他听到那个男人继续做爱,听到了那个女人默不作声—没有耳语—听到了她的想法,她的眼睛望着黑暗中的他。
He hears the car turning and waits for another moment of light. The face that emerges out of the dark is still an arrow upon him. The light moves from her face down onto the body of the general, over the carpet, and then touches and slides over Caravaggio once more. He can no longer see her. He shakes his head, then mimes the cutting of his throat. The camera is in his hands for her to understand. Then he is in darkness again. He hears a moan of pleasure now from her towards her lover, and he is aware it is her agreement with him. No words, no hint of irony, just a contract with him, the morse of understanding, so he knows he can now move safely to the verandah and drop out into the night.
他听到了汽车转弯的声音,又等了一会儿。那张在黑暗中一闪而过的脸,仍让他感到心有余悸。灯光从她的脸上移到将军的身上,掠过了地毯,又照亮了卡拉瓦焦。他再也看不见她了。他摇摇头,比划一下割喉的姿势。他拿着照相机,好让那女人明白。然后他又隐没在黑暗中。他现在听到她对她的爱人发出了一声愉悦的低吟,他明白那是她对他表示同意的方式。没有说话,没有嘲弄,只是一个与他联络的信号,一种深刻的理解,所以他知道现在可以顺利溜到阳台,然后潜入夜色之中。
Caravaggio watches Hana, who sits across from him looking into his eyes, trying to read him, trying to figure the flow of thought the way his wife used to do. He watches her darkness against the brown-and-red walls, her skin, her cropped dark hair. He had known her and her father in Toronto before the war. Then he had been a thief, a married man, slipped through his chosen world with a lazy confidence, brilliant in deceit against the rich.
卡拉瓦焦望着哈纳,坐在对面的哈纳直视他的眼睛,想知道他在想什么,像他以前的妻子那样,想了解他的思绪。卡拉瓦焦望着她映在暗红色墙壁上的黑影、她的皮肤,还有她那一头剪短的黑发。早在战争开始之前,他就在多伦多认识了哈纳和她的父亲。后来他成了一个小偷,一个已婚的男人,带着懒洋洋的自信混迹于他所选择的世界,精于欺骗富人。
But now there is hardly a world around them and they are forced back on themselves. During these days in the hill town near Florence, he has no plots to set in motion, is interested only in Hana. And it seems she has chained herself to the dying man upstairs.
但是,现在他们周围的世界几乎消失得荡然无存,他们只能依靠自己了。在佛罗伦萨附近这个山镇生活的这些日子里,雨天待在室内,或坐在厨房那张软椅上,或睡在床上,或睡在楼顶上,胡思乱想,无所事事,一心想着哈纳。可是,哈纳似乎已把自己与楼上那个将死之人锁在一起了。
Half a year earlier, from a window at the end of the long hall in Santa Chiara Hospital in Pisa, Hana had been able to see a white lion. It stood alone on top of the battlements, Like some gift from the past that had to be accepted. Yet she accepted it most of all among the things surrounding this hospital. At midnight she would look through the window and know it stood within the curfew blackout and that it would emerge like her into the dawn shift. She would look up at five or five-thirty and then at six to see its silhouette and growing detail. Every night it was her sentinel while she moved among patients.
半年以前,透过比萨的圣齐亚拉医院走廊尽头的窗户,哈纳能看到一只白狮子。她把白狮子当作来自过去的礼物接受。医院周围的一切景物,她最能接受的就是那只白狮子。在半夜里,她会从窗户往外观望,知道它就站在宵禁灯火管制范围之内,知道它会在黎明出现,像她在黎明时要起身交班一样。她会在五点或五点三十分抬头仰望,然后在六点看见它的轮廓越来越清晰。每天晚上,当她在巡视病人时,它就是她的哨兵。
Nurses too became shell-shocked from the dying around them. They would carry a severed arm down a hall, or swab at blood that never stopped, as if the wound were a well, and they began to believe in nothing, trusted nothing. They broke the way a man dismantling a mine broke the second his geography exploded. The way Hana broke in Santa Chiara Hospital when an official walked down the space between a hundred beds and gave her a letter that told her of the death of her father.
A white lion.
见到周围的死亡的人们,护士们受到了惊吓。 她们会在走廊那头捡起一只被炸断的手臂,擦洗止不住的血。伤口似乎是一口流不干的水井,她们开始什么都不相信,什么都不信任。她们身心俱碎,就像一个正在扫雷的人发现地图被炸飞了,以致于精神崩溃。哈纳在圣齐亚拉医院曾经痛不欲生,当时一名军官挤过一百多张病床,送给她一封告知她父亲已死的信。
一头白狮子。
----每周一/三/五晚更----
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