介绍:
(点击右边黑三角下拉有中英配文）
As far as we were concerned there was only one person to avoid being seen by.
只要我们不被人撞见就行。
But Geoffrey Clifton was a man embedded in the English machine. He had a family genealogy going back to Canute. The machine would not necessarily have revealed to Clifton, married only eighteen months, his wife’s infidelity, but it began to encircle the fault, the disease in the system. It knew every move she and I made from the first day.
但是杰弗里•克利夫顿与英国有着密切的关系。他的家谱可以追溯到克努特大帝。杰弗里•克利夫顿结婚才十八个月，那个统治阶层不必对他说他的妻子不忠，但却开始掩盖这个过失，掩盖这个阶层的弊端。从塞米拉米斯饭店停车场，我和她第一次尴尬的接触开始，这个阶层就知道我和她的一举一动。
Women want everything of a lover. And too often I would sink below the surface. So armies disappear under sand. And there was her fear of her husband, her belief in her honour, my old desire for self-sufficiency, my disappearances, her suspicions of me, my disbelief that she loved me. The paranoia and claustrophobia of hidden love.
女人想拥有情人的一切。我经常深藏不露，像古代的军队消失在沙子里。她害怕她的丈夫，她看重她的名节，而我一直渴望不受羁绊。我突然消失，她怀疑我，我不相信她爱我，
偷情的妄想偏执和幽闭恐怖。
“I think you have become inhuman,” she said to me.
“I’m not the only betrayer.”
“I don’t think you care—that this has happened among us. You slide past everything with your fear and hate of ownership, of owning, of being owned, of being named. You think this is a virtue. I think you are inhuman. If I leave you, who will you go to? Would you find another lover?”
I said nothing.
“Deny it, damn you.”
“‘我觉得你变得没有了人性。’她对我说。
“‘我不是惟一的背叛者。’
“我认为你并不关心……我们之间发生的事情。由于你惧恨占有、被人占有、被人摆布，你就逃避一切。你认为这是美德，我认为你没有人性。如果我离开了你，你会找谁?你会再找另外一个情人吗?’
“我沉默不语。
“‘你否认啊，你这该死的。’
She had always wanted words, she loved them, grew up on them. Words gave her clarity, brought reason, shape. Whereas I thought words bent emotions like sticks in water.
“她总想听人说话，她爱言语，靠它们成长。话不说不明，言语让她明理，让她得到具体的概念。然而我认为言语压抑了情感，就像浸在水里的木材。
She returned to her husband.
From this point on, she whispered, we will either find or lose our souls.
Seas move away, why not lovers? The harbours of Ephesus, the rivers of Heraclitus disappear and are replaced by estuaries of silt. The wife of Candaules becomes the wife of Gyges. Libraries burn.
“她回到了她丈夫身边。
“从这一刻开始，她低声说，我们如果找不到我们的灵魂，就会失去它。
“大海都会分流，何况爱人?以弗所的港口，赫拉克利特的河流消失了，被积蓄了淤泥的港湾所替代。坎道勒斯之妻成了盖吉之妻。图书馆在火中付之一炬。
What had our relationship been? A betrayal of those around us, or the desire of another life?
She climbed back into her house beside her husband, and I retired to the zinc bars.
I’ll be looking at the moon,
but I’ll be seeing you.
That old Herodotus classic. Humming and singing that song again and again, beating the lines thinner to bend them into one’s own life. People recover from secret loss variously. I was seen by one of her retinue sitting with a spice trader. She had once received from him a pewter thimble that held saffron. One of the ten thousand things.
“我们有过什么关系?是背叛了我们身边的人，还是渴求另一种生活?
“她跟在她的丈夫旁边，爬回了她的家。我则回到栏杆前。
“‘我会看看月亮，
但我会看见你的模样。’
“希罗多德的经典诗句。一遍遍吟唱这首歌，并将歌声融人自己的生活之中。一旦经历了难言的创伤，人们有不同的方法恢复内心的平静。她的一名随从曾经见到我与一位香料小贩坐在一起。她曾从他那里收到了一朵套了番红花的白蜡顶针。
And if Bagnold—having seen me sitting by the saffron trader—brought up the incident during dinner at the table where she sat, how did I feel about that? Did it give me some comfort that she would remember the man who had given her a small gift, a pewter thimble she hung from a thin dark chain around her neck for two days when her husband was out of town? The saffron still in it, so there was the stain of gold on her chest.
如果巴格诺尔德——看见我和卖番红花的小贩坐在一起——在她用餐的桌旁谈到了这件事，我会有什么感受呢?这会给我一些安慰?因为她记得那个男人曾送她一件小礼物，一个白蜡顶针，在她丈夫外出的两天里，她曾用一根黑色的细链系上戴在脖子上。番红花仍然套在里面，因而她的胸前有着黄金的印迹。
How did she hold this story about me, pariah to the group after some scene or other where I had disgraced myself, Bagnold laughing, her husband who was a good man worrying about me, and Madox getting up and walking to a window and looking out towards the south section of the city. The conversation perhaps moved to other sigh tings. They were mapmak-ers, after all. But did she climb down into the well we helped dig together and hold herself, the way I desired myself towards her with my hand?
她怎么没让我知道这个故事?我这个贱民，在许多场合，在众人面前丢了脸，巴格诺尔德哈哈大笑，她的丈夫是个为了我而担心的好人，马多克斯站了起来，走到窗前，眺望城南。他们毕竟是绘图员。但是她曾爬进我们正在开挖的井里，抱着自己吗?我就想用我的手这样抱住她。
We each now had our own lives, armed by the deepest treaty with the other.
“What are you doing?” she said running into me on the street. “Can’t you see you are driving us all mad.”
“我们现在都有各自的生活，并与别人签下了最具约束力的条约。
“‘你在做什么?’她在街上撞见我时问道，‘难道你看不出你搞得我们大家都要发疯了吗?’
Caravaggio watches the pink in the man’s mouth as he talks.
在那人说话时，卡拉瓦焦望着他粉色的嘴唇。
----每周一/三/五晚更---- 【文本翻译均为电台英伦好声音读给你听所有，转载请联系播主并注明】
大家还在听
