第219期：致我不那么完美的妈妈

想成为我们的主播，欢迎加微信 xdfbook 投稿。 一段美文，一首英文歌，或是一点生活感想，全由你做主。 《致我不那么完美的妈妈》 Dear Less-Than-Perfect Mom Dear Mom, I've seen you around. I've seen you screaming at your kids in public, I've seen you ignoring them at the playground, I've seen you unshowered and wearing last night's pajama pants at preschool drop-off ). I've seen you running around with your kids, getting dirty and occasionally swearing ) when you bang a knee. I've seen you wiping your kids' boogers ) with your bare palm, and then smearing ) them on the back of your jeans. I've also seen you gritting your teeth ) while your kid screamed at you for making him practice piano, or soccer or whatever it was. I've seen you close your eyes and breathe slowly after finding a gallon of milk dumped into your trunk. I've seen you crying into the sink while you desperately scrub crayon off your best designer purse. I've seen a lot of you, actually. I see you every single day. I don't know if you planned to be a parent or not. I don't know if it meets your expectations. But I know a lot about you. I know that you didn't get everything that you wanted. I know that you got a wealth of things you never knew you wanted until they were there in front of you. I know that you don't believe that you're doing your best; that you think you can do better. I know you are doing better than you think. I know that when you look at your child, your children, you see yourself. And I know that you don't, that you see a stranger who can't understand why the small details of childhood that were so important to you are a bother to this small person who resembles you. I know that you want to throw a lamp at your teenager's head sometimes. I know you want to toss your child out the window once in a while. I know that some nights, once it's finally quiet, you curl up in bed and cry. I know that sometimes, you don't, even though you wanted to. I know that some days are so hard that all you want is for them to end, and then at bedtime your children hug you and kiss you and tell you how much they love you and want to be like you, and you wish the day could last forever. But it never does. The day always ends, and the next day brings new challenges. Fevers, heartbreak, new friends, new pets, new fights. And every day you do what you need to do. You take care of things, because that's your job. You go to work, or you climb into the garden, or strap the baby to your back and pull out the vacuum cleaner. I know that you have the words to at least eight different picture books memorized. I've heard that you dance like a wild woman when it's just you and them. I know you didn't expect most of this. I know you didn't anticipate loving somebody so intensely, or loathing ) your post-baby body so much, or being so tired or being the mom you've turned out to be. You're not a perfect mom. No matter how you try, no matter what you do. You will never be a perfect mom. And maybe that haunts ) you. Or maybe you've made peace with it. Or maybe it was never a problem to begin with. No matter how much you do, there is always more. No matter how little you do, when the day is over, your children are still loved. They still smile at you, believing you have magical powers to fix almost anything. No matter what happened at work, or at school, or in playgroup, you have still done everything in your power to ensure that the next morning will dawn and your children will be as happy, healthy, and wise as could possibly be hoped. There's an old saying: "There is one perfect child in the world, and every mother has it." Unfortunately, there are no perfect parents. Your kids will grow up determined to be different than you. They will grow up certain that they won't make their kids take piano lessons, or they'll be more lenient ), or more strict. No matter how far from perfect you are, you are better than you think. No matter how many doubts you might have, you never need doubt this one thing: You are not perfect. And that's good. Because really, neither is your child. And that means nobody can care for them the way you can, with the wealth of your understanding and your experience. And since no mother is perfect, chances are you are caught in a two billion way tie ) for Best Mom in the World. Congratulations, Best Mom in the World. You're not perfect. You are as good as anybody can get. With love, Lea 亲爱的妈妈， 我见过你。我见过你当众对你的孩子们大喊大叫，我见过你在操场上对他们置之不理，我见过你没有洗漱穿着昨晚的睡衣睡裤出现在幼儿园的接待处。 我见过你追着孩子们到处跑，浑身弄得脏兮兮，而且当你撞到膝盖的时候偶尔还会骂上几句。我见过你直接用手擦掉孩子们的鼻屎，然后把它们抹到自己的牛仔裤后面。 当你的孩子因为你逼着他练钢琴、足球或者无论什么东西而冲你尖叫的时候，我见到你咬牙切齿。在你发现车后备箱里被倒入一加仑牛奶的时候，我见到你闭上眼睛深呼吸。当你绝望地想要擦去你最好的名牌钱包上的蜡笔笔迹的时候，我见到你在水槽边哭泣。 事实上，我见过你很多的样子。 我每一天都会见到你。 我不知道你此前是否曾做好为人母的准备。我不知道现在这些是否符合你的预期。 但是我非常了解你。 我知道你并没有得到你曾想要的所有东西。我知道有很多东西你从未意识到你想要它们，直到它们出现在你面前。我知道你不相信自己在全力以赴，我知道你认为自己可以做得更好。我知道你现在做的要比你想象的更好。 我知道当你看着你的孩子，你的孩子们，你看到了你自己。我知道你又看不到自己，你看到了一个陌生人，他不理解为什么对你来说童年的那些非常重要的小细节对这个非常像你的小人儿来说却是一个麻烦。 我知道你有时想朝你那已经十几岁的孩子头上扔台灯。我知道你有时也想把你的孩子扔到窗户外面去。 我知道有些夜晚，一旦一切终于安静下来，你会蜷缩在床上哭泣。我也知道有的时候，你又不会那么做，即使你曾想那么做。 我知道有些日子是那么艰难，以至于你只想结束一切，然而等到了上床睡觉的时间你的孩子们拥抱你亲吻你并且告诉你他们有多爱你而且想变得和你一样时，你又希望这一天可以持续到永远。 但这从未持续到永远。这一天总会结束，下一天又带来新的挑战。发烧、悲伤、新的朋友、新的宠物、新的争吵。每一天你都在做你必须做的事。 你打理一切，因为那是你的工作。你去上班，或是翻进花园，或者把宝宝绑在背上然后拽出真空吸尘器干活。 我知道你至少把八本不同绘本的文字都记了下来。我听说当只有你和你的孩子们一起跳舞时，你跳得就像个疯女人。 我知道这些事你大半都没有预料到。我知道你没有预料到会如此强烈地爱某个人，或者如此强烈地厌恶你产后的身体，或者预料到会这么累或者变成现在这样的母亲。 你不是一个完美的母亲，无论你如何努力，无论你做什么。你永远都不会成为一个完美的母亲。 或许这使你困扰。或许你平静地接受了它。又或许它从未成为一个问题。 无论你做多少事，都永远有更多的事情等着你。无论你做再少，当一天结束时，你的孩子们依旧被人深爱。他们依旧向你微笑，相信你拥有摆平几乎一切的魔力。无论在工作中，在学校里，在操场上发生了什么，你依旧拼尽全力确保下个黎明将会来临，你的孩子们会像你尽可能希望的那样快乐、健康、聪明。 有句老话：“世界上没有完美的小孩，但是每个妈妈都有一个。”不幸的是，世上没有完美的父母。你的孩子们将会长大成人，一心想要变得和你不一样。他们会长大而且确信自己不会强迫他们的孩子上钢琴课，或者他们将会更宽容，又或者更严格。 无论你离完美有多远，你都比你想象的要好。无论你可能会有多少疑惑，你永远不需要怀疑这件事：你并不完美。 这很好。因为实际上，你的孩子也不完美。而这意味着没有人可以像你那样照顾他们，像你那样有如此多的理解和经验。 而且既然没有一位妈妈是完美的，所以你可以在“世上最好的妈妈”大赛中和两亿妈妈打成平局。 祝贺你，“世上最好的妈妈”。你并不完美。你和任何人能做到的一样好。 爱你 莉亚 文章摘自：《新东方英语·中学生》杂志2017年5月号