第250期：可是，我又一次没从高中毕业

想成为我们的主播，欢迎加微信 xdfbook 投稿。 一段美文，一首英文歌，或是一点生活感想，全由你做主。 《可是，我又一次没从高中毕业》 Yet Again, I Won’t Be Moving up at My High School The high school graduation season is ended on Long Island. Summer’s moving into high gear ). The seniors ) have moved on, ready to begin the next stages of their lives. All the students in my junior ) English class are looking forward to senior year. All of them, but not me. I’ve been left back. Again. Stuck in junior English for the 32nd time. I’ve been close to advancement a few times. One year I even spoke at graduation. It was a great honor. People applauded. And still, they didn’t let me graduate. September came around, and I was in the same classroom, reading the same books, knowing all the endings. Everybody else was a stranger. Everything was new for everyone else. I had no friends. Didn’t know a soul except Gatsby ) and Hamlet ) and Emily Webb ). At the start of the school year, everybody else talked so much that the noise reminded me of an orchestra ) warming up. Looking around the classroom, I felt alone and hopeful. I consoled ) myself with the thought that this might be the year. This might be my June. I might finally move up and get out of junior English class. But it didn’t happen. And now all the people in my class whom I gradually came to know and even like are gone. Moved ahead without me. I’ve been left back. Again. So, a strange thing has happened: I’ve grown old in high school. I’ve become an old man. True, far from decrepit )— I’m not ready for the Guinness Book of Records — but still, unnaturally old for high school. I mean, isn’t high school supposed to be a passage? A journey rather than a destination? You endure it. You overcome it. Nowadays, before they even leave it, students become nostalgic ), remembering the good times. But what if you’ve never left? How can I look back when it’s right here all around me each and every year? Again. Over and over. The people change, but the place remains basically the same. Oh, I’ve endured the cosmetic ) changes: celluloid film ) to VHS ) to DVD; the evolution of chalkboard to white board to Smart Board ); the transformation from handwritten grade books and pocket calculators to online grade book programs; and the rise of the ubiquitous ) smartphone. But the bell schedule, the calendar, the cheers at athletic events, the applause at concerts and plays, the snow days, the meetings, the crowded hallways, the excited chatter, the lines of yellow school buses in the mornings and afternoons, the American flag flapping atop the pole in front of the building, these things don’t change. After all these years, that sameness provides comfort. So, July and August will heal my bruised ) ego. I have not been promoted. Again. No matter. A couple of trees in the backyard need trimming. A new path off the back deck needs building. I can awaken to the sound of the birds rather than before them. Sit by the fire pit and watch the stars appear in the darkening sky. Hopefully, by September I’ll be ready to meet some new faces. And I’ll start renewed. I’ll work real hard and do my best. I guess I’ll be OK, even if I get left back . . . again. After all, I’m a teacher. It’s what we do. 长岛的高中毕业季结束了。夏季正快步到来。毕业班的同学们继续前行，准备开始他们人生的下一个阶段。高三英语班的同学们都期待着升入毕业班。他们所有人都期待着，除了我。我又一次被留下了。第32次被留在了高三英语班。 有几次，我已经接近升级。有一年，我甚至在毕业典礼上发言了。那真是极大的荣誉，人们热烈地鼓掌。但结果还是一样，他们没有让我毕业。9月到来，我还是身处同一间教室，读着同一些课本，对所有的结局了如指掌。周围的每个人都不认识。对其他每个人来说，一切都是那么新奇。我没有朋友。除了盖茨比、哈姆雷特和埃米丽·韦布，我谁都不认识。 就在这一学年伊始，其他人都在叽叽喳喳聊个不停，那嘈杂让我想起了管弦乐队的预热演奏。环顾教室，我倍感孤单又满怀希望。我安慰自己今年也许就会毕业。也许就在今年6月。我也许终于可以升学，离开高三英语班了。 但是事与愿违。 现在班里所有我逐渐熟悉甚至喜欢上的人都走了。他们继续前行，没有带我。我又一次被留下了。 因此，奇怪的事情发生了：我在高中变老了。我已变成了一个老头儿。准确地讲，还远未到垂垂老矣的地步——我还没准备好被记入“吉尼斯世界纪录”——但对高中生而言，我还是老得不合情理。 我的意思是说，难道高中不该是一个阶段吗？是一段旅程而不是目的地？你经历它，你战胜它。而在当前这种即将离校的时刻，学生们充满怀旧情绪，缅怀过去的美好时光。 但是假如你从未离开过会怎样呢？我要如何才能回顾年年岁岁在这儿陪伴我的一切？一次又一次，周而复始。 年年岁岁，物是人非。 哦，我已经见证了那些表面的变化：从胶片电影到录像带，再到DVD的转换；从粉笔黑板到白板到交互式白板的演变；从手写成绩册和袖珍计算器到网上成绩册系统的转变；无处不在的智能手机的兴起。但是规律的铃声、教学日历、体育竞赛中的欢呼声、音乐会和戏剧表演时的掌声、下雪的日子、各种会议、拥挤的走廊、眉飞色舞的聊天者、早晨和下午集结的一排排黄色校车、楼前旗杆上方飘扬的美国国旗，这些都未曾改变。多年以来，这些一成不变的东西给人以安慰。 因此，7月和8月将会治愈我受伤的内心。我又一次没有升级。不要紧，后院的几棵树需要修剪，后面的露台旁边需要修一条新的小路。我可以伴着鸟儿的叫声醒来，而不是醒在它们鸣叫之前。我可以坐在炉火旁边，望着星辰在暗夜中显现。希望到了9月，我就会准备好去见一些新的面孔。我也将有一个全新的开始。我将会格外努力，做到最好。我想即使我一如既往地被留下了，我也会好好的…… 毕竟，我是一名老师，这就是我们的工作。 文章摘自：《新东方英语·中学生》杂志2017年8月号