介绍:
with by Kate&Ben
由于演员的各种口音，看着翻译或者原文来听会好一点~（中文翻译出自朱生豪版本）EvyJim的视频来自B站的2011年David T和Catherine T主演的《无事生非》：
Don Pedro: 贝特丽丝小姐在生你的气；陪她跳舞的那位先生告诉她你说了她许多坏话。
Benedict:她才把我侮辱得连一块顽石都要气得直跳起来呢！一株秃得只剩一片青叶子的橡树，也会忍不住跟她拌嘴；就是我的脸罩也差不多给她骂活了，要跟她对骂一场哩。她不知
道在她面前的就是我自己，对我说，我是亲王的弄人，我比融雪的天气还要无聊；她用
一连串恶毒的讥讽，像乱箭似的向我射了过来，我简直变成了一个箭垛啦。她的每一句话都是一把钢刀，每一个字都刺到人心里；要是她嘴里的气息跟她的说话一样恶毒，那一定无论什么人走近她身边都不能活命的；她的毒气会把北极星都熏坏呢。即使亚当把他没有犯罪以前的全部家产传给她，我也不愿意娶她做妻子；她会叫赫剌克勒斯给她烤肉，把他的棍子劈碎了当柴烧的。好了，别讲她了。她就是母夜叉的变相，但愿上帝差一个有法力的人来把她一道咒赶回地狱里去，因为她一天留在这世上，人家就会觉得地狱里简直清静得像一座洞天福地，大家为了希望下地狱，都会故意犯起罪来，所以一切的混乱、恐怖、纷扰，都跟着她一起来了...殿下有没有什么事情要派我到世界的尽头去？我现在愿意到地球的那一边去，给您干无 论哪一件您所能想得到的最琐细的差使：我愿意给您从亚洲最远的边界上拿一根牙签回来；我愿意给您到埃塞俄比亚去量一量护法王约翰的脚有多少长；我愿意给您去从蒙古大可汗的脸上拔下一根胡须，或者到侏儒国里去办些无论什么事情；可是我不愿意跟这妖精谈三句话儿。您没有什么事可以给我做吗？
D: 没有，我就想请你陪着我...（这句话怎么怪怪的）
B:啊，殿下，这是强人所难了；我可受不住咱们这位尖嘴的小姐。（下。）
Don:In faith, lady, you have a merry heart.
Beatrice:Yea, my lord; I thank it, poor fool, it keeps on the windy side of care. My cousin tells him in his ear that he is in her heart.
Claudio:And so she doth, cousin.
B:Good Lord, for alliance!Thus goes every one to the world but I, and I am sunburnt;I may sit in a corner and cry heigh-ho for a husband!
D:Lady Beatrice, I will get you one.
B:I would rather have one of your father&`&s getting.Hath your grace ne&`&er a brother like you?Your father got excellent husbands, if a maid could come by them.
D:Will you have me, lady?
B:No, my lord, unless I might have another for working-days: your grace is too costly to wear every day.But,I beseech your grace, pardon me: I was born to speak all mirth and no matter.
D:Your silence most offends me,and to be merry best becomes you;for, out of question,you were born in a merry hour.
B:No,sure,my lord,my mother cried; but then there was a star danced, and under that was I born.Cousins, God give you joy!
Leonato:Niece,will you look to those things I told you of?
B:I cry you mercy,uncle. By your grace&`&s pardon.(Exit)
D:By my troth,a pleasant-spirited lady.
L:There&`&s little of the melancholy element in her,my lord:she is never sad but when she sleeps,and not ever sad then;for I have heard my daughter say,she hath often dreamed of unhappiness and waked herself with laughing.
D:She cannot endure to hear tell of a husband.
L:O, by no means: she mocks all her wooers out of suit.
D:She were an excellent wife for Benedict.
L:O Lord, my lord, if they were but a week married,they would talk themselves mad.
D:County Claudio, when mean you to go to church?
C:To-morrow, my lord: time goes on crutches till love have all his rites.
L:Not till Monday,my dear son,which is hence a just seven-night;and a time too brief,too,to have all things answer my mind.
D:Come,you shake the head at so long a breathing:but,I warrant thee,Claudio,the time shall not go dully by us.I will in the interim undertake one of Hercules&`which is,to bring Signior Benedick and the Lady Beatrice into a mountain of affection the one with the other.I would fain have it a match,and I doubt not but to fashion it,if you three will but minister such assistance as I shall give you direction.
L:My lord, I am for you, though it cost me ten nights&`& watchings.
C:And I, my lord.
D:And you too, gentle Hero?
H:I will do any modest office,my lord,to help my cousin to a good husband.
D:And Benedick is not the unhopefullest husband that I know.Thus far can I praise him;he is of a noble strain,of approved valour and confirmed honesty.I will teach you how to humour your cousin,that she shall fall in love with Benedick;and I, with your two helps,will so practise on Benedick that,in despite of his quick wit and his queasy stomach, he shall fall in love with Beatrice.If we can do this,Cupid is no longer an archer:hi&`&s glory shall be ours,for we are the only love-gods
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