中国人的待客之道

中国文化篇 2. Chinese Hospitality(中国人的待客之道) Dialogue A: I was invited to a traditional Beijing household for dinner once. It was an eye-opening experience. The girl who invited me was my colleague. Her father was over 60 years old. He didn’t eat much but was constantly proposing a toast. His wife was busy cooking in the kitchen all the time. I asked her to join⌒us but her husband said “No, she doesn’t.” After dinner, I asked my colleague why her father didn’t eat much and why her mother didn’t join⌒us. She said that was an old tradition. Her father was there to keep me company because I was a guest⌒of honor and usually women did not eat with the guests. B: I had a similar experience too. I always feel spoiled to be a guest in⌒a Chinese household. The host usually prepares a sumptuous ['sʌmptʃuəs] meal. The kids are sent to the neighbors so the guests can have a peaceful meal. Usually, they would start preparing for our visit days ahead. Even though there would be a lot⌒of food on the table, the host would still say “We don’t have much, so please bear with⌒us.” They keep putting food on my plate despite the fact that I may not like certain food. I usually feel very embarrassed. Some hosts even force their children to perform a song or recite a poem for me. A: That is Chinese hospitality. People want to bring out their best food to welcome the guests. Westerners are different. They don’t stay in the kitchen when the guests have arrived. They want to socialize with the guests rather than simply showing hospitality. B: Chinese people are very friendly and always ready to treat their guests with the best things they have. But this hospitality may cause inconvenience to both the guests and the hosts themselves. An⌒American said in⌒a book over 100 years⌒ago that Chinese hospitality is meant to show the politeness of the host rather than keeping the guest happy. The host may insist on starting a fire so he can make tea for the guest, despite the fact that the guest may be irritated by the smoke. At least the host gives the impression that he is very hospitable. 对话 A：我曾到一个老北京家里做客，可真是开了眼了。请客的是这家的女儿，她是我的同事。她的父亲六十多岁，作为主人，他在饭桌上几乎没吃什么，只是隔一会儿就端起酒杯劝酒。他的太太一直在厨房里忙着。我们招呼他一起吃，同事的父亲说“她不上桌”。告辞出来，我问同事为什么他父亲几乎不吃东西，而她母亲一直不加入我们。他说这是老礼数。他父亲把我们当做贵客，所以要陪酒，而女人一般是不和客人同桌的。 B：我也有过同样的经历。到中国人家里做客，总感觉他们招待得很隆重：上一大桌菜，小孩子被赶到邻居家，以便客人吃得尽兴。请一次客得提前几天做准备。即便做了一大桌菜，他们还是说：“没什么东西，凑合吃吧。”还不停的为你夹菜，不管你是不是爱吃。这让我觉得很尴尬。有些人家还在着孩子给客人表演唱歌或者背诗。 A：这就是中国人的待客之道：把最好的东西拿出来招待客人。西方人并不如此，他们不会在客人到来后还在厨房中忙碌，她们的目的是交流而不是表现待客的热情。 B：中国人非常友好，所以才会用最好的东西招待客人。但这样一来家人跟着受累，客人也不自在。一百多年前，一位美国人在他的书中写道：中国人待人热情的目的通常是为了表现自己懂礼节，而并非想使客人满意。主人执意生火为客人沏茶，而不在乎客人是否被烟呛着，因为他至少树立了待客有礼的形象。