介绍:
Penny: Hey, How are the things going with your parents?
Raj: Not great. They hired divorce attorneys.
Sheldon: You know, speaking of attorneys, if I ever needed a lawyer, I would not hire She-Hulk.
Penny: You know what? That was almost on topic. I`m gonna say, “Good job, Sheldon.”
Amy: Wait, She-Hulk`s a lawyer?
Howard: Yeah, she works at a law-firm in New York.
Sheldon: Yes, but she`s the only monster at the firm. Between you, me and the wall. I think she`s an affirmative action hire.
Raj: Anyway, Dad`s gonna be here in town, so I won`t be able to do Christmas dinner this year.
Amy: If you`re not up to hosting Christmas dinner, I`m happy to do it. You can even bring your father.
Raj: That would be nice.
Amy: I`ve always wanted to do a traditional Victorian Christmas. Parlor games, goose and figgy pudding…
Sheldon: Oh! English pudding. Y-You get yourself all excited for pudding, and here comes a cake with raisins in it. I`m not going.
Amy: You`re going.
Sheldon: Why do you hate me?
Amy: I don`t hate you. I love you.
Sheldon: Well, you call it love. But it has a lot of raisins in it.
Raj: Amy, good luck getting these guys excited about a dinner with a theme. I gave up when no one cared about my Tom Hanks-giving.
B: I think a Victorian Christmas sounds nice.
All: I agree. Me too…
Raj: You guys suck!
Our whole universe was in a hot dense state, then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait... The Earth began to cool, the autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools, we built a wall (we built the pyramids), Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries, That all started with the big bang! "Since the dawn of man" is really not that long, As every galaxy was formed in less time than it takes to sing this song. A fraction of a second and the elements were made. The bipeds stood up straight, The dinosaurs all met their fate, They tried to leap but they were late And they all died (they froze their asses off) The oceans and pangea，see ya, wouldn't wanna be ya Set in motion by the same big bang! It all started with the big BANG! It's expanding ever outward but one day it will cause the stars to go the other way, Collapsing ever inward, we won't be here, it wont be hurt Our best and brightest figure that it'll make an even bigger bang! Australopithecus would really have been sick of us Debating out while here they're catching deer (we're catching viruses) Religion or astronomy, Encarta, Deuteronomy It all started with the big bang! Music and mythology, Einstein and astrology It all started with the big bang! It all started with the big BANG！
Lenard: You know the best part of working in the clean room? No allergies. Check it out.(take a deep breath) Oh, That-that a lot of oxygen.
Howard: We should get going to Amy`s.
Lenard: Can you believe there was a time when we would have needed an array of giant Cherenkov telescopes to detect cosmic particles? And here we are building our own multi-wire detector like a couple of badasses.
Howard: I know. If we were still single, we`d be tripping over all that booty.
Lenard: Ladies do love a man dressed like a kitchen garbage bag.(a bird flying into the clean room)Oh no.
Howard: How the hell did a pigeon get in here?
Lenard: You shut the loading doors, right?
Howard: I thought you did.
Lenard: Do you know what a disaster this is?!
Howard: You mean cause this room isn`t supposed to have dust in it and we just let in a flying crap machine?!
Lenard: What do we do? Should we call someone?
Howard: And tell them that we compromised all the equipment? Let`s just get it out of here before anyone knows.
Lenard: Okay, how do we catch it?
Howard: Well, what if we turn off all the lights except for one, and it`ll come to it.
Lenard: It`s not a moth!
Howard: Don`t yell at me. You`re not gonna get any good ideas out of me if you`re yelling.
Lenard: Okay, so if I remain calm, I`ll` get more gems like,” Turn off the lights”?!
Howard: Great, we`re turning on each other. That`s just what the bird wants us to do!
Penny: So, Dr. Koothrappali, long flight?
Raj`s Father: 20 hours.
Penny: Oh, that`s rough.
Raj`s Father: Not at all. Did you know that when you fly transcontinental without your wife, you don`t pray for the plane to crash?
Raj: Can we please talk about anything else?
Raj`s Father: Forgive me. How are you with Lenard?
Penny: Oh, great. Everything`s good.
Raj`s Father: I see you got engaged.
Penny: Yes, we did.
Raj`s Father: Let me tell you a story.
Raj: Dad!
Raj`s Father: Sorry. I`m sure you won`t grow to hate each other.
(Raj`s phone ringing…)
Raj: Hey, Leonard. What`s up? What? How did that happen? Yeah, okay. I`ll be there as soon as I can. Sorry, I have to run to the university.
Amy: What`s going on?
Raj: There`s been a problem with our experiment. A bird got into a clean room.
Raj`s Father: Do you want me to come?
Raj: Uh, no. You had a long flight. You stay here and relax.
Raj`s Father: “Relax”. Easy for you to say. Your mother isn`t cleaning out your bank account. 40 years, the woman never cleaned a thing.
Penny: You`re just gonna leave him here?
Raj`s Father: “Relax,” He says.
Raj: Yup, Bye.
B: “Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus, Right down Santa Claus Lane, Vixen and Blitzen and all his reindeer, Pulling on the reins…”
Sheldon: Yeah, I appreciate the ride…
B:“Bells are ringing, children singing, All is merry and bright, So hang your stockings and say your prayers, Cause Santa Clause is coming tonight ” Why`d you turn it off?
Sheldon: Because in the last ten minutes, Santa came to the town, Kissed Mommy and ran Grandpa over with a reindeer. I had a drunk uncle who did all those things. Nobody sings songs about him.
