Story Night 20150524

Story Night 20150524

2015-05-26    15'00''

主播: HZAU English Radio Station

28 2

介绍:
[Sheldon]: Checkmate. [Leonard]: Ah! Again? [Sheldon]: Obviously, you're not well suited for three-dimensional chess. Perhaps three-dimensional Candy Land would be more your speed. [Leonard]: Just reset the board. [Sheldon]: It must be humbling to suck on so many different levels. [Penny]: Hey, guys. Did you get my mail? [Leonard]: Yeah, right here. How was Nebraska? [Penny]: Well, better than North Dakota. I guess that joke's only funny in Nebraska. [Sheldon]: From the data at hand, you really can't draw that conclusion, all you can say with absolute certainty is that that joke is not funny here. [Penny]: Boy, it's good to be back. [Leonard]: How's your family? [Penny]: Oh, it was the worst trip, everyone got sick over the weekend. [Sheldon]: Sick? [Leonard]: Here we go. [Sheldon]: What kind of sick? [Penny]: Oh, the flu, I guess. [Sheldon]: I don't need you to guess, I need you to know. Now, when did the symptoms first appear? [Penny]: Maybe Friday. [Sheldon]: Friday. Was that morning or afternoon? [Penny]: I don't... [Sheldon]: Think, woman! Who blew their nose and when? [Leonard]: Sheldon, relax, she doesn't have any symptoms, I'm sure she's not contagious. [Sheldon]: Oh, please. If influenza was only contagious after symptoms appear, it would have died out thousands of years ago. Somewhere between tool using and cave painting, Homo habilis would have figured out how to kill the guy with the runny nose. [Leonard]: Penny, you'll have to excuse Sheldon, he’s a bit of a germaphobe. [Penny]: Oh, it's okay. I understand. [Sheldon]: Thanks for your consideration. Now please leave. [Leonard]: You'd better go before he starts spraying you with Lysol. [Penny]: Okay, well, thank you for getting my mail. [Leonard]: No problem. Welcome home. [Sheldon]: What? [Leonard]: What the hell are you doing? [Sheldon]: I'm making Petri dishes to grow throat cultures. [Leonard]: With lime Jell-O? [Sheldon]: I need a growth medium, and someone polished off the apricot yogurt. Here, swab my throat. [Leonard]: I don't think so. [Sheldon]: Leonard, if I'm going to get ahead of this thing, I need to find out what's growing in my throat. [Leonard]: Sheldon, you are not sick. This is, but you are not. [Sheldon]: We have no idea what pathogen Typhoid Penny has introduced into our environment. For having never been to Nebraska, I'm fairly certain that I have no corn-husking antibodies. [Leonard]: Sheldon, don't you think you're overreacting? [Sheldon]: When I'm lying comatose in a hospital relying on inferior minds to cure me, these Jell-O cultures my accompanying notes will give them a fighting chance. [Leonard]: I'm going back to bed. [Sheldon]: Wait, put this in the bathroom. [Leonard]: What for? [Sheldon]: I need to measure my fluid intake and output to make sure my kidneys aren't shutting down. [Leonard]: I mixed pancake batter in this. [Sheldon]: No, that measuring cup has always been for urine. [Leonard]: You had time to make a label for everything in this apartment including the label maker, but you didn't have 10 seconds to make one that said “Urine cup”? [Sheldon]: It's right here on the bottom. [Leonard]: Huh… I guess I owe the Betty Crocker Company a letter of apology. [Sheldon]: Oh, dear God. Leonard? Leonard, I'm sick. Leonard? Leonard, my comforter fell down, and my sinuses hurt when I bend over. Leonard? [Leonard]: Hey. [Sheldon]: Leonard, where are you? [Leonard]: I'm at work. [Sheldon]: At 6:30 in the morning? [Leonard]: Yes. [Sheldon]: On Sunday? [Leonard]: Yes. [Sheldon]: Why? [Leonard]: They asked me to come in. [Sheldon]: I didn't hear the phone ring. [Leonard]: They texted me. [Sheldon]: Well, as I predicted, I am sick. My fever has been tracking up exponentially since 2:00 a.m, and I am producing sputum at an alarming rate. [Leonard]: No kidding? [Sheldon]: Nope, not only that, it has shifted from clear to milky green. [Leonard]: All right, well, get some rest and drink plenty of fluids. [Sheldon]: What else would I drink? Gases? Solids? Ionized plasma? [Leonard]: Drink whatever you want. [Sheldon]: I want soup. [Leonard]: Then make soup. [Sheldon]: We don't have soup. [Leonard]: I'm at work, Sheldon. [Sheldon]: Is that a dog? [Leonard]: Yes. [Sheldon]: In the lab? [Leonard]: Yes. Ah, they're training dogs to operate the centrifuge for when they need dogs to... operate the centrifuge for... blind scientists. I have to go. [Mrs. Wolowitz]: Howard, it's the phone. [Howard]: I know it's the phone, Ma, I hear the phone. [Mrs. Wolowitz]: Well, who's calling at this ungodly hour? [Howard]: I don't know. [Mrs. Wolowitz]: Well, ask them why they're calling at this ungodly hour! [Howard]: How can I ask them when I'm talking to you?! Hello? [Leonard]: Howard, it's Leonard, code milky green. [Howard]: Dear Lord, not milky green. [Leonard]: Affirmative, with fever. [Mrs. Wolowitz]: Who's on the phone? [Howard]: It's Leonard. [Mrs. Wolowitz]: Why is he calling? [Howard]: Sheldon's sick. [Mrs. Wolowitz]: Were you playing with him? [Howard]: For God's sake, Ma, I'm 26 years old! [Mrs. Wolowitz]: Excuse me, Mr. Grownup, what do you want for breakfast? [Howard]: Chocolate milk and eggos, please. [Leonard]: Howard, listen to me. [Howard]: Hang on, call waiting. [Leonard]: No, don't...Don't... [Howard]: Hello? [Sheldon]: Howard, I'm sick. [Howard]: Ah... Howard's sleeping, this is his mother. Why are you calling at this ungodly hour? [Sheldon]: I need soup. [Howard]: Then call your own mother. It was Sheldon. [Leonard]: I tried to stop you. [Howard]: It's my own fault, I forgot the protocol we put in place after the great ear infection of 06. [Leonard]: You call Koothrappali, we need to find a place