[广播剧] 座舱压力Cabin Pressure S1 E01

Cabin Pressure Series 1, Episode 1 – Abu Dhabi (Bing-Bong) DOUGLAS: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, First Officer Douglas Richardson here. Just to let you know, we're making our final approach now into what I am fairly sure is Fitton airfield..unless it's a farm..or just possibly the A45. It's not the sea, because that's blue. I should perhaps explain that Captain Crieff and I have a sportsman-like little bet on today about who can fly the best after drinking a litre of Vodka through a straw. The Captain went first. You may have noticed the takeoff run was a little bumpy, particularly over the golf course. Now it's me to land, just as soon as I decide, which of these two runaways to aim for. And I'm happy to tell you that I feel lucky. So on behalf of all your crew today, may I just say, geronimo! Opening Credit (by BC) - This week, Abu Dhabi! MARTIN: Blessed. DOUGLAS: Ah, yes, of course. May! MARTIN: Hmm, yup. Cant! ARTHUR: Here we are, gents. Coffee with nothing in it. Tea with everything in it. Great cabin address, Douglas? I love cargo flights. DOUGLAS: Thank you, Arthur. MARTIN: Ooh, Eno? DOUGLAS: Ooh, Eno? MARTIN: Ooh, Eno. DOUGLAS: Ah..yes! Sewell. ARTHUR: Oh, what are we playing? MARTIN: Brians of Britain. ARTHUR: Then there must be loads of them! Uh, um.. DOUGLAS: Well, not to worry, as they come to you. ARTHUR: Oh, who's that guy? Hm, oh, gray haired, did that game show, "Can I have a P please, Bob?" Uh..what's his name? DOUGLAS: Your hope being that it was Brian..? ARTHUR: Yeah, Brian..Uh..Brian.. MARTIN: Bob Holness. It was Bob Holness. ARTHUR: That's it! Oh..Well, does he count anyway? DOUGLAS: Does Bob Holness count in our list of people called Brian. What the hell, yes, he does. Well done! (over the intercom) Tower: Golf-Tango-India, expect twenty min delay due runway inspection. Enter the hold at arden. Maintain seven thousand feet. MARTIN: Golf-Tango-India, Roger. Hold at arden. Maintain seven thousand feet. Can you confirm delay only twenty minutes? Tower: (exhales) Probably..All depends, really. MARTIN: Thank you, Tower. Hugely informative as ever. Out. (turns off the intercom) Sorry, chaps, looks like we'd better divert to Bristol. ARTHUR: Bristol? Why? MARTIN: Fitton's got a runway closure. We'd have to hold for twenty minutes ARTHUR: But Bristol, that's miles away. MARTIN: Yes..Luckily enough though, we are in an aeroplane, specially designed to be good at going miles away quite quickly. ARTHUR: Yeah..But my car's at Fitton. MARTIN: Oh, well then, let us, by all means, circle round it until we drop out of the sky. DOUGLAS: Do you know, Martin, all these years and I've never been to Bristol? MARTIN: We'll get ready for a treat. DOUGLAS: I don't know. I was rather hoping not to break my duck. ARTHUR: Skip, are you sure there's not enough fuel to wait, because there's always a little bit left when the guage shows red. MARTIN: Yes, oddly enough, Arthur, a jet aircraft isn't as precisely similar to a Vauxhall Corsa as a stupid person might imagine. We're going to Bristol. ARTHUR: What do you reckon, Douglas? DOUGLAS: We could go to Bristol, I believe. People do. However, we've easily enough fuel spare to hold for twenty minutes, maybe even thirty. MARTIN: Yeah, I'm sorry, but we are diverting. ARTHUR: Yeah, hang on a tick though, If Douglas reckons twenty minutes.. MARTIN: No, let's not hang on a tick. Let's listen to the Captain, shall we? DOUGLAS: Of course, Martin, if you say we divert, then divert we shall. MARTIN: Thank you. DOUGLAS: Unless of course we were to smell smoke in the flight deck. MARTIN: What? DOUGLAS: I'm just saying, if by any remote chance, we smelt smoke in the flight deck, we would of course be duty-bound to land at the nearest available airfield with immediate priority. In this case, by a happy coincidence, Fitton. MARTIN: Yes, maybe. But I don't smell smoke in the flight deck. DOUGLAS: (lighting a match) How about now? MARTIN: What are you suggesting, Douglas? DOUGLAS: We tell the Tower we smell smoke which we do. We get to land straight away. They check the aircraft. Don't find anything. One of the life's little mysteries, but jolly good boys for taking no chances. Everybody is happy, and there's jam for tea. ARTHUR: Right. That's, you know, that's really clever. MARTIN: No! I'm sorry, but absolutely not. DOUGLAS: I used to do it all the time at Air England. MARTIN: Well, you're not at Air England now. Where you are now, is in a co-pilot seat, and on the way to Bristol. You'll like it. They have a lovely suspension bridge. DOUGLAS: Well..Shall I just sat-com Carolyn before we make our final decision. It's rather an expensive diversion. MARTIN: No! We have made our final decision. I have