Friends  706  The One With The Nap Partners

Friends 706 The One With The Nap Partners

2016-06-28    23'03''

主播: 睡衣外穿的花菜

2275 128

介绍:
[Scene: A Restaurant, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are having brunch.] Monica: Okay, the reason why I asked you guys out to brunch today is because I have been doing some thinking about who should be my maid of honor. Rachel: Oh my God! This is it! (She and Phoebe hold hands.) (To Phoebe) I really hope it’s you! Phoebe: I hope it’s you. Rachel: Me too! Monica: First of all um, I love you both so much and you’re both so important to me… Rachel: Okay, bla-bla-bla-bla!! Who is it?! Monica: Well umm, I was thinking that maybe we could come up with a system where we trade of being maid of honor for each other. Like hypothetically, if Phoebe were mine… Phoebe: Yes!!! Oh!! Rachel: Hypothetically! Phoebe: Still. Monica: If Phoebe were my maid of honor… Rachel: Uh-hmm. Monica: Rachel would be Phoebe’s, I would be Rachel’s, that way we all get to do it once and no one would get upset. Rachel: Yeah that’s actually a pretty good idea. Phoebe: Yeah, I’ll do that. So who gets to be yours? Monica: (laughs) Well that’s the best part. Umm, you guys get to decide! Phoebe: Wh-why is that the best part? Monica: Because then I don’t have to! Rachel: Well of course we will help you decide! We will do anything we can to help you! Now, I would like to make a toast, to the future Mrs. Chandler Bing (A woman at the table behind them overhears Chandler’s name and starts listening closer), my best friend, and truly one of the nicest people that… Monica: I’m really not deciding! Rachel: Fine! (The woman gets up and walks over to their table.) Woman: Excuse me, I-I couldn’t help overhearing, you’re marrying Chandler Bing? Monica: Yeah that’s right. Woman: (sarcastically) Huh, good luck! Phoebe: Aww, and good luck to you too! (To Monica and Rachel) What a nice lady! Opening Credits [Scene: Ross's apartment, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are finishing watching Die Hard on video.] Chandler: Die Hard still great! Joey: Yep. Hey, what do you say we make it a double feature? Chandler: What’d you rent? Joey: Die Hard 2. Chandler: (looking at the tape) Joey, this is Die Hard 1 again. Joey: Oh, well we watch it a second time and its Die Hard 2! Ross: Joey, we just saw it! Joey: And? Ross: And it’ll be cool to see it again! Yeah! Joey and Ross: Die Hard!!!!!! Ross: Dude, you didn’t say Die Hard. Is everything okay? Chandler: Yeah, I just got uh, got plans. Ross: Well, John McLane had plans! Chandler: No, see the thing is I want to get out of here before Joey gets all worked up and starts calling everybody bitch. Joey: What are you talking about? Bitch. [Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is bringing Rachel some coffee.] Phoebe: Hey Rachel? Rachel: Yeah? Phoebe: Umm, when I get married will you be my maid of honor? Rachel: Really?! Phoebe: Uh-hmm. Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe! I mean I’m just—Wait a minute. If I’m your maid of honor that means you are Monica’s. Phoebe: Oh! Well, if that’s what you want… Rachel: Ohh! No way Phoebe! I want to be Monica’s! Phoebe: But why does it even matter?! Rachel: Why does it matter so much to you?! Phoebe: Because this one is now! And-and it’s two of our best friends! Who knows what you’re gonna marry! Rachel: What-what if I marry Ross—Or Joey? Phoebe: (gasps) You wouldn’t! Okay look, Rachel I know you really want to do this, but I-I’ve never been maid of honor to anyone before! And I know you’ve done it at least twice! Rachel: Yeah but Phoebe… Phoebe: And no, oh please, oh please let me finish. (Rachel stops talking.) Oh I guess that was it. Rachel: Okay. Okay. It’s—since you’ve never done it before you can be Monica’s made of honor. Phoebe: Oh, thank you so much! (They hug.) Okay. Rachel: I’m gonna marry someone good y’know. Phoebe: Oh I know. Rachel: Better than Chandler. (Phoebe exhales as if to say, "Like what isn’t?") [Scene: Ross's apartment, Die Hard has ended, only I don’t think Joey and Ross know that yet. As you see, they are both asleep. And they’re on the same couch. Which means they’re sleeping together. Not like Joey is at one end and Ross is on the other, they both happen to be lying down and sleeping together. Well, there hasn’t been any clothes removed so not that kind of sleeping together. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. That is unless you’re a Republican in which that kind of thing will bring about the downfall of Western society, especially if they should happen to want to get married. Anyway, let me recap. No, there is too much, let me sum up. Ross and Joey are taking a nap together on top of each other and both wake-up at the same time, realize what they just did, scream, and jump up.] Ross: What happened?!! Joey: Well, I don’t know!! Ross: We fell asleep! That is all. Joey: Yeah. Yep. Yeah. All right, well uh, I’d better go. Ross: I think that would be best. Joey: Yeah. All right, I’ll talk to you later. Ross: Okay. But not about this! Joey: No! Never! Never! (Pause, then Joey wants to shake Ross’s hand.) Bye. Ross: No touch! No touch! [Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica has just gotten back from brunch and is telling Chandler about it.] Monica: Yeah hey, a weird thing happened today whey I was at brunch. This woman overheard that I was marrying you and-and then she…she wished me good luck. Chandler: That’s sweet. Monica: No, it’s more like a (sarcastically) good luck. Chandler: So uh, what did this woman look like? Monica: She was like 30, dark hair, attractive. Chandler: Well, is there any chance you were looking into a bright, shiny thing called a mirror? Monica: Come on, was it somebody maybe you dated in college? Chandler: No, no I only dated two girls in college, both blonde, both not attractive… (Thinks a little while.) Hold on one second; let me check this out. (He gets up and grabs a photo album. Monica: What are you doing? Chandler: Well, let’s see… (Finding the picture he wants.) Okay uh, is that her? (Pointing to the picture.) Monica: Oh my God yes! Who is she? Chandler: Julie Grath, my camp girlfriend. Monica: Did you break up with her? Chandler: (pause) No, we’re still together. Yeah we went out for two summers, and then I broke up with her. Monica: Why? Chandler: Well, ‘cause she came back the third summer and she’d gotten really fa-aa-aw-ow… Monica: Fat?! Chandler: I did not say fat! I said, "Fa-aa-aw-ow…" Monica: You broke up with a girl because she was fat?! Chandler: Yeah. Yeah, but it was a really, really long time ago! Does she still feel bad? Monica: Well, apparently she does. Chandler: Well, you know what they say, elephants never forget. (Monica is not amused by that statement.) Seriously, good luck marrying me. [Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Rachel and Phoebe are already there.] Joey: Hey! What’s going on? Rachel: Phoebe is gonna be Monica’s maid of honor! Joey: Hey! Well I hope it goes better than the last time you did it for that girl downstairs, remember? (Phoebe glares at him.) Rachel: (shocked) You have been maid of honor before?!! Phoebe: See? This is exactly why you shouldn’t lie! Rachel: All right that’s it! I am maid of honor! Phoebe: Na-uh, I am! Rachel: How come you are?! Phoebe: Because I cared enough to lie! Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, I can help you decide who should do it! Yeah, we could have like uh, like an audition and see how you’d handle maid of honor type situations. Phoebe: What are you talking about? Joey: Like when I want a job, I go to an audition and if I’m the best of the people they see, they give me the part. Phoebe: Okay, so after this audition, who decides who gets it? Joey: Oh uh, me and Ross can be the judges. Phoebe: (To Rachel) Well, it’s better than us deciding. Rachel: Oh, come on! This is crazy! Can’t we just flip a coin?! Phoebe: No! Coins hate me! Rachel: Okay. Okay fine, y’know what? We will let Ross and Joey decide. (Ross enters.) (In a sexy voice.) Hiiiii, Ross! Sweetie. Phoebe: Hey there, you handsome thing. (Rachel and Phoebe exit.) Ross: Wow, this cologne really is every bit as good as Georgio. Joey: Hi. Ross: Just uh, brought back your videos. Joey: Uh hey look uh Ross, look I think we need to talk about before. Ross: No! No we don’t! Joey: Yes we do! Now look, that was the best nap I ever had!! Ross: I… I don’t know what you are talking about. Joey: Come on! Admit it! That was the best nap you ever had! Ross: I’ve had better. Joey: Okay! When?! Ross: All right! All right! It was the best nap ever! Joey: Uh-huh! Ross: I’ve said it! Okay?! But it’s over Joey! Joey: I want to do it again. Ross: We can’t do it again. Joey: Why not? Ross: Because it’s weird! Joey: Fine! Do you want something to drink? Ross: Sure, what do you got? Joey: Warm milk and Excedrin P.M. (Ross just leaves.) Commercial Break [Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is approaching the bathroom door behind which Chandler is using the facility.] Monica: Chandler! (Knocks on the door.) Chandler! I just figured out who you are! Chandler: Can you figure out what I’m doing? Monica: You’re Lewis Posin. Chandler: Who? Monica: Lewis Posin! He was my best friend in fifth grade, and-and then one day I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said no. Do you know why? Chandler: Because you kept talking to him while he was trying to go to the bathroom?! Monica: No! But because he thought I was to faaaaa…. (Chandler emerges, without flushing by the way.) And every time I think about it, it makes me feel as bad as I did in fifth grade! Y’know, I-I really think that you should apologize to Julie. Chandler: What? Are you kidding? That was like 16 years ago. Monica: No, I know. But y’know what? It would make me feel better if Lewis apologized to me. Chandler: Okay, I will do it. But I have to warn you; this may make me a better person and that is not the man you feel in love with! [Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are laying out the ground rules for the maid of honor auditions to Rachel and Phoebe.] Joey: Okay, all right, this is how it’s going to work. We’re gonna give you hypothetical maid of honor situations and you will be scored on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the highest. Ross: No, 10 is the highest. Joey: Why is 10 the highest? Ross: Because it’s the highest. (Joey shrugs his shoulders) Okay, Rachel you’re up first. (Rachel stands up and gets ready.) Situation No. 1: You’re with Monica, the wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go! (Joey is playing the part of Monica.) Joey: (crying) I don’t want to marry Chandler! Rachel: Okay, uh… Joey: I’ve got cold feet. Rachel: …it’s gonna be okay! Joey: No, one man for the rest of my life? I don’t know if I can do it! This means I’ll never get to sleep with Joey! Rachel: Look Monica, getting cold feet is very common. Y’know, it’s-it’s just because of all the anticipation and you just have to remember that you love Chandler. And also, I ran out on a wedding. You don’t get to keep the gifts. Joey: (out of his Monica character) Very good! Drawing on your own experience, I like that! Rachel: Thanks! Ross: Yes, very nice Rachel. Rachel: Thank you judges. Phoebe: Ugh, what a kiss ass. Rachel: Oh! Joey: Okay, Phoebe… Phoebe: Yes! Your honor? Joey: We’re now in the ceremony, Monica is about to say, "I do" when her drunk uncle starts yelling. What do you do? Go! Ross: (playing the drunk uncle) When Monica was a little girl, I remember that—(Phoebe screams and tackles him)—Ooh!! Ow! Very good! Phoebe: Oh! Joey: Yes! Excellent! Perfect score! Rachel: Wait a minute! She just made a scene in the middle of the ceremony! Phoebe: Hey! Do you want do you want a little taste of Pheebs?! Ross: It is time for you to give your maid of honor speech. Rachel: Ohh, wait a minute, we haven’t pre… Ross: Go! ……