Xiaohua: Tongdao, a web celebrity, has published two posts on his WeChat account, listing the behaviors that make men and women appear mean or low. What are these behaviors, and do you agree with what’s being said?
知名微博博主“同道大叔”最近发布了两篇微信,历数了那些让男生和女生显得很掉价的行为。他都列举了哪些行为?你同意他的说法吗?
Let’s take a look at these behaviors. Do you agree?
Heyang: I think this is a very interesting list. I think I agree with most of them. Just think that if one guy combines the ten traits being listed here, he will never get a girlfriend.
Number one is beating up your girlfriend. That is not acceptable what so ever. I think that’s definitely the bottom line there. And, I think also speaking ill of this girl who’s refused to go out with the guy or speak ill of a girl that has gone out with you, these are pretty bad things from these guys.
Mark: Most of them are bad. Talking about details of your romantic life to your friends: that’s going to upset your girlfriend if you start doing that kind of thing. Being stingy is on the list as well. I mean there’s a difference between being careful with your money and being stingy. Eventually, there comes a time when yes you do have to pay for things, but it’s no good expecting to sponge off other people all your life. But being careful with your money is another issue.
Do you know there’s one thing on the list that I strongly disagree with, which is number six. It says, “Posting selfie photos showing your body even though you don’t have a good figure. This makes others feel disgusted. If you have nothing good enough to show, then don’t show it at all. It will only make people feel sick.” This is so biased. There’s probably some sort of phrase among politically correct folk to describe this like its “bodi-ist” or something. If I want to roll up my shirt in the summer and show everybody my “da du zi” and parade around Beijing like that posting selfies, why shouldn’t I? I should be proud of that stomach that I’ve been working on in the “Ma La Tang” shop for all these months. I think it’s very mean to say that unless you conform to somebody else’s idea of what’s attractive, then you shouldn’t be allowed to put up selfies of yourself.
Heyang: I admire your confidence in saying that you should be proud of that part, and yes, I think we shouldn’t be judgmental. That should be my slogan on the show: don’t be judgmental. And, when it comes to body form, yes, you shouldn’t judge people or judge a book by its cover.
That being said, I have a couple of male friends—ok there’s only one, actually—and he doesn’t go to the gym, he eats a lot of McDonald’s, and he shows off his porcelain white and pudgy “du zi” and chest a few times in my WeChat moment, and I have to say it’s very disturbing. I think, sometimes, take a moment and think for those who are seeing the stuff you’re posting maybe have a second thought
Xiaohua: Maybe kindly advise your male friends who have a more chubby belly not to do that, but it’s not to say that if they have done that, then they are mean or something. That is an overstatement. But let’s go on and look on the girls. Do you think there are some unjustifiable criticisms there, or do you think they all make sense as well?
Mark: Well to be serious, yeah hitting anybody in anyway is unacceptable, and this is the lowest of the low for a man, I think, to hit a woman. Or, indeed, I don’t think it’s acceptable for a woman to hit a man either.
Heyang: And also, I think that the one that I honestly cannot agree with as a behavior from the ladies is, well, what’s being listed on this list is only saying “praising your ex-boyfriends,” but I think what essentially its aiming at is those girls that only can see their self worth by what kind of guys they end up with or date. And, if you’re with a rich guy, does that make you better?
I think that kind of value system, let’s just call it that name, I think is just not good for you, and I think you should be finding your self worth and your own values independently. And, I think it’s what you create for yourself that is most important, and it shouldn’t be because some guy that you date.
Xiaohua: And, another one that I can agree with is treat other guys as backups even if you don’t like them at all. Guys sometimes can be guilty of that, as well.
Mark: Here’s a question, and it’s not on the list, I just thought of it. Is it low behavior to tell a woman the truth, for example, when she’s trying on a dress in a shop, and she says, “does this make me look fat?” What is the correct response?
Heyang: Fat? That word cannot be related to you in any way. And there should not be any pause in the middle of the response
Mark: So in other words, is it low behavior then to tell the truth in this situation?
Xiaohua: I think it’s not low, but it’s just plain stupid.