第244期：我不叫查克！

想成为我们的主播，欢迎加微信 xdfbook 投稿。 一段美文，一首英文歌，或是一点生活感想，全由你做主。 《我不叫查克！》 My Name’s Not Chuck! “This is Steve. He just moved here.” Andy was taking seriously his job as my guide for the day. He turned to me. “You’ve already met the guys in our class. That’s Shaun, Stevie, Darren, Rob, Steve and Chris.” He pointed to the kids clustered around home plate ). “Hi,” I said. Already I couldn’t remember any of my classmates’ names except Andy and Steven, a tall, skinny kid. I only remembered that name because it was the same as my own. “Another Steve?” Darren asked. “Do you have a nickname?” “No,” I answered. “I’m really Steven, but everyone has always called me Steve.” I wasn’t going to tell them that my sister calls me Stinky ). “Well, with Steven, Steve and Stevie taken, nothing’s left,” said Stevie. Or was that Steve? “This could get confusing.” “You sure you don’t have a nickname?” asked Darren. “How about Chuck?” “Hey, that works for me!” said Andy. “But my name is Steve,” I said. No one heard me. Everyone was agreeing with Darren and Andy. Then Rob shouted loudly, “O.K., let’s play ball! My team gets Chuck, since we’re short one man.” Word spread fast. By the end of break time, practically the whole school had heard that my nickname was Chuck. Don’t get me wrong. Everyone was friendly and helpful. But they called me Chuck. When math started, Karla leaned across the aisle. “Hey, Chuck, we’re on page fifty-seven.” “My name’s not Chuck,” I whispered back, but she was searching for a pencil in her desk. Mrs. Woodburn was the only person still calling me Steve. I guess teachers are slow getting the word. At home, I grabbed a bunch of grapes and headed for my room. “How’re things, Blackbeard?” “Let me out of here!” he answered. I unlatched ) the door of his cage and stuck my hand inside. My African gray parrot hopped onto my finger. I flopped ) across the bed and set Blackbeard on the logo on my T-shirt. He ruffled ) his gray wing feathers and spread his scarlet ) tail. “The kids at school started calling me Chuck. I hate it! My name’s not Chuck!” Blackbeard looked down his beak ) at me. “How would you like it if people called you Polly )?” I asked. “Get real! ) Polly wants a cookie!” said Blackbeard. I taught him to say that whenever he hears “Polly” because people are always saying to him, “Polly wants a cracker )?” Do they think that’s all birds can say? I fed him a grape. “Why do I have to change my name just because I’m the fourth Steve? I bet those other Steves wouldn’t want to be Chucks.” “I have a bad feeling about this. )” Blackbeard’s voice sounded like Han Solo’s ), not mine. He learned that line from my Star Wars video. He learns really fast. Sometimes he says, “What a mess in here!” and sounds like my mom. “I do have a bad feeling, but I don’t know what to do about it. Hey, Blackbeard, do you want to go sightseeing next weekend?” “Stand by ) to go about!” Blackbeard nudged ) a grape. I fed it to him, scratching his neck. “There’s a walkathon ) at the track to raise money for the Red Cross. The more laps ) I finish, the more money I’ll raise. You could ride on my shoulder when I walk.” He stole a grape I had plucked ) for myself. “Steve’s my pal!” he said. That’s when I had my great idea. “You are my pal,” I said. “And you and I have work to do!” “What a mess in here!” The track was jammed with people on Saturday morning. As I pushed my way to the registration table with Blackbeard on my shoulder, people around me did double takes ). “Wow, look at the cool bird!” “Mom, that kid’s got a bird!” Blackbeard loved the noise and the crowd. He kept saying “Hello, mates!” and “May the force be with you!” I didn’t see anyone I knew until we lined up to walk. While a man gave instructions over the loudspeaker, I saw guys from the baseball teams and my class out of the corner of my eye. They were nudging each other and pointing toward me and Blackbeard. As soon as we started walking, the guys began moving themselves closer to me. “Hey, Chuck, cool bird!” one of them called. “Who’s Chuck? Steve’s my pal!” squawked ) Blackbeard. I couldn’t tell which guy had spoken. I just kept walking. “Hey, Chuck, is that bird yours?” “Who’s Chuck? Steve’s my pal!” I kept walking. I reached the first curve. A couple of guys were about ten feet away. “Chuck! Is that a parrot?” “Who’s Chuck? Steve’s my pal!” I just kept walking. Darren started laughing. “I get it! Hey, Steve, can your bird say anything else?” “A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away . . . )” Blackbeard began. Everybody laughed. Blackbeard took turns riding on the guys’ shoulders. I kept hearing, “Hey, Steve, can I have him next?” Blackbeard finished twenty-three laps. The other Steve likes his new nickname, “Slugger”. I never hear “Chuck” at school anymore. Only from Blackbeard. “Who’s Chuck? Get real!” “这是史蒂夫。他刚搬来这里。”安迪很把他今天带我熟悉环境这活儿当回事儿。他转向我，“你已经见过咱们班的这几个家伙了。他们是肖恩、史蒂维、达伦、罗布、史蒂夫和克里斯。”他指了指聚在本垒板周围的那几个小孩。 “大家好。”我说。除了安迪和史蒂文(一个又高又瘦的小孩)之外，我已经完全想不起来其他任何一位同学的名字了。而我会记得史蒂文只是因为他和我同名。 “又一个史蒂夫？”达伦问，“你有绰号吗？”“没有，”我答道，“我的名字其实是史蒂文，不过大家一直都叫我史蒂夫。”我不打算告诉他们我妹妹管我叫臭臭。 “好吧，史蒂文、史蒂夫和史蒂维都已经有人叫了，没有其他的名字了，”史蒂维说。还是他叫史蒂夫？“这可能会搞混的。” “你确定你没有绰号吗？”达伦问， “那叫查克怎么样？”“嘿，我觉得这个名字挺好的呢！”安迪说。“但是我叫史蒂夫。”我说，可没人听到我说了什么。每个人都在赞同达伦和安迪的提议。然后罗布大声喊道，“好了，我们打球吧！查克是我们队的了，因为我们少一个人。” 消息传得很快。到课间休息结束时，几乎全校的学生都听说了我的绰号是查克。别误会我，这里的每个人都很友好也很乐于助人。只是他们就是管我叫查克。 数学课上课以后，卡拉隔着过道探身过来。“嘿，查克，我们学到57页了。”“我不叫查克。”我小声回答，可她却在自己的课桌里扒拉着找一支铅笔。 伍德伯恩夫人是唯一一个还叫我史蒂夫的人。我猜老师们消息不太灵通。 到家了，我抓了一串葡萄就往自己的房间走。“你今天怎么样，黑胡子？”“放我出去！”它答道。我打开它笼子的门闩，把手伸了进去，我的非洲灰鹦鹉跳到了我的手指上。 我一头倒在床上，让黑胡子站在了我T恤的品牌标上。它竖起它那灰翅膀上的羽毛，打开了自己鲜红色的尾巴。 “学校里的孩子们开始管我叫查克了。我讨厌这个名字！我不叫查克！”黑胡子低下头看过来，喙对着 我。“要是人们叫你鹦哥你会怎么想呢？”我问。 “别傻了！鹦哥想吃曲奇！”黑胡子说道。我教过它每次听到“鹦哥”时就这么回答，因为人们总是对它说，“鹦哥想吃饼干吗？”他们以为鸟儿就只会说那几句话吗？ 我喂了它一颗葡萄。“为什么就因为我是第四个叫史蒂夫的人我就得把自己的名字改了呢？我敢说其他几个史蒂夫也不想被叫做查克。” “对此我有一种不祥的预感。”黑胡子的声音听起来像是汉·索洛，而不像我。它是从我的《星球大战》录像带里学来的这句台词。它学得非常快。有时它会说：“这里真是乱死了！”听起来就像是我老妈在说话。 “我的确有一种不祥的预感，但我不知道该怎么办。喂，黑胡子，你下个周末想去观光吗？”“准备好去四处观光了！”黑胡子用爪子轻轻推了推一颗葡萄。我把那颗喂给它吃，挠了挠它的脖子。 “在学校跑道上要举行为红十字会筹款的步行马拉松。我走完的圈数越多，筹到的钱就会越多。你可以在我走圈的时候站在我的肩上。” 它偷走了我给自己揪的一颗葡萄。“史蒂夫是我哥们儿！”它说道。我就是在这时想到了我那个很棒的主意。“你是我哥们儿，”我说。“你和我有事儿要干啦！”“这里真是乱死了！” 周六早上，跑道上挤满了人。当我肩“扛”黑胡子往报名登记的桌子那里挤过去时，周围的人都愣了一会儿才反应过来。 “哇，快看那只鸟，太酷了！” “妈妈，那个小孩有只鸟！” 黑胡子喜欢热闹和人扎堆的地方。它不停地说着“你们好啊，伙计们！”以及“愿原力与你同在！”。在我们排队去走圈之前，我没看到一个自己认识的人。当一个男人对着扩音器发出活动指令时，我用余光瞥见了棒球队的男生们和我们班的同学。他们在那儿你推我搡，还朝着我和黑胡子指指点点。 我们刚刚走起来，那些家伙就开始朝我走了过来，越来越近。 “嘿，查克，这鸟好酷啊！”他们其中一个人大声说。“谁是查克？史蒂夫是我哥们儿！”黑胡子尖叫道。我听不出来刚才说话的是哪个人，只是继续往前走着。 “嘿，查克，这鸟是你的吗？”“谁是查克？史蒂夫是我哥们儿！”我继续走着。 我走到了第一个弯道处。有几个人离我差不多有十英尺(编注：约三米)远。“查克！那是只鹦鹉吗？”“谁是查克？史蒂夫是我哥们儿！”我继续走着。 达伦哈哈大笑起来。“我知道啦！嘿，史蒂夫，你的鸟还会说别的话吗？”“很久很久以前，在一个遥远的银河系……”黑胡子打开了话匣子。所有人都笑翻了。黑胡子轮流站在这些家伙的肩上。我一直听到有人问，“嘿，史蒂夫，下一个能让它站我肩上吗？”黑胡子“走”完了23圈。 另一个史蒂夫很喜欢他的新绰号“慢吞吞”。我再也没在学校里听到“查克”这两个字了，除了从黑胡子那里。 “谁是查克？别傻了！” 文章摘自：《新东方英语·中学生》杂志2017年8月号