Friends 607 The One Where Phoebe Runs

[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel’s new apartment, Rachel and Phoebe are making their answering machine message.] Phoebe: Ready? Rachel: Yeah. Phoebe: Okay. Rachel: Hi... Phoebe: it's... Rachel: Rachel... Phoebe: and… Rachel: Phoebe’s... Phoebe: please... Rachel: leave... Phoebe: leave… Rachel: Wait, I-I just said "leave." Phoebe: Yeah, I know because you have all the good words. What do I get? I get "it’s," "and" oh I'm sorry, I have "A." Forget it. Rachel: Phoebe, come on that's silly. Phoebe: All right, so let's switch. Rachel: No, I have all of the good words. OK, fine, fine, we can switch. Phoebe: Okay. Rachel: Okay. Phoebe: Hi… Rachel: Everybody… Phoebe: It's… Rachel: Rachel… Phoebe: and… Rachel: Phoebe’s… Phoebe: Please...wait, how did you do that? Rachel: What? Phoebe: Oh, you're no ordinary roommate are you? Rachel: Phoebe, come on can we finish this later? Cause I wanna go running before it gets dark. Oh! Why don't you come with me?! Phoebe: Really? Rachel: Yeah, it'll be fun. We'll run in the park. It'll be like our first y’know roommate bonding thing. Phoebe: Okay, let's go running! Rachel: Yeah and there's really cute guys there. Phoebe: Let's run towards them! Rachel: OK! Phoebe: All right, wait just one more second. Hi, it's Phoebe and Rachel's. Please leave a message, thanks! Rachel: Now wait a minute. You just took all the words! Phoebe: Uh-huh. You've met your match Rachel Green. Opening Credits [Scene: Monica and Chandler’s new apartment, Ross and Chandler are there.] Ross: So, I just finished this fascinating book. By the year 2030, there'll be computers that can carry out the same amount of functions as an actual human brain. So theoretically you could download your thoughts and memories into this computer and-and-and live forever as a machine. Chandler: (not amused) And I just realized I can sleep with my eyes open. [Monica enters] Monica: Hey! Ross and Chandler: Hey! Monica: (jumps over a box) Honey, that's a great idea nailing the boxes to the floor! Chandler: I didn't nail the boxes to the floor. Monica: Oh, So you can move them! Chandler: Yes, and while I'm doing that, Ross has a great computer story for you. [Joey enters with his new roommate who is played by none other than Elle MacPherson.] Joey: Hey everybody! Uh, I'd like you to meet Janine. She's-she's gonna be my new roommate! Janine: Hi. Ross: Hi! (Rushes over to shake her hand instantly.) Janine: Hi Joey: Yeah, she's gonna live with me! Monica: It's nice to meet you. Janine...? Janine: Lecroix. Janine Lecroix Joey: I didn't know that! Well, what a pretty last name! Chandler: So, uh, wh-where ya from? Janine: Australia, I just moved here a couple of weeks ago. Joey: (shocked) From the land down under? I didn't know that either! Ross: So uh, wha-uh, what do you do? Janine: I'm a dancer. Joey: You're a dancer? She-she's a dancer! Janine: Well, I think I'll go and unpack. Joey: Oh, hey let me. (Opens the door for Janine and after he closes the door behind her gasps ecstatically.) Monica: Joey, did you even interview this woman before you asked her to move in? Joey: Of course I did. Monica: Uh-huh, what exactly did you ask her? Joey: "When can you move in?" Ross: Thank you for bringing her into our lives. Chandler: Unbelievable Monica: Oh, so you like her too Chandler? Chandler: Hey, look at all the boxes! Joey: Ugh, I cannot wait to ask her out! Monica: Wait a minute...Joey. Joey you can't ask her out, she's your roommate. It-it'll be way too complicated. Ross: Yeah, yeah man don't do it. I mean if you date her, then-then-then I can't date her. Chandler: All right, think about it. Now remember when you were going out with that girl Donna and you guys broke up. Remember how horrible it was when you guys bumped into each other at the supermarket? Joey: Oh God, yeah. Chandler: Now imagine you live at the supermarket. Joey: (happily) Okay! Chandler: No-no Joey: Oh, Oh, you're right! I don't want that. I can't date her! Monica: Yeah and you better watch the flirting too, cause you know, in such close quarters, it could be trouble. Joey: Well, that's gonna be tough Mon. I mean it's hard for me to be around an attractive woman and not flirt. Monica: (chuckles) Hmm, well you're around me all the time and you don't flirt. Joey: You a little sad about that sweetheart? [Scene, The Park: Phoebe and Rachel are getting ready to go running] Phoebe: I have to tie my shoe, so you go ahead, I'll catch up. Rachel: Okay. (Runs off.) Phoebe: Okay. (Starts running crazily with her arms flapping and her legs far apart) Come on! That's not running! Let's go! (Rachel pauses, then follows, embarrassed.) [Scene, Central Perk: Rachel, Ross and Monica are there] Rachel: You guys, I'm telling you, when she runs, she looks like a cross between Kermit The Frog and The Six Million Dollar Man. Ross: Monica had such a crush on him. Yeah, she used to kiss his poster every night before she went to bed. Rachel: Oh! I used to do that too! Monica: Did you also have his album, It's Not Easy Being Green? Rachel: Aw, Mon...(Kisses her on the cheek) Monica: So, Phoebe runs weird huh? Rachel: Yeah, yeah and you know what, I know she's gonna wanna run again, I just don't know how to get out of it, I mean, I live with her. Monica: Why don't you just be straight with her? Tell her the truth. Ross: Yeah. Rachel: You're right, you're right. I should just tell her the truth. [Phoebe enters] Phoebe: Hey! Ross: Hey! Rachel: Pheebs, Monica tripped me, I don't think I can ever run again, ever! Phoebe: Why? Why would you do that? Monica: I don't know. Rachel I'm-I'm sorry that I hurt your ankles. Rachel: Ankle. Monica: We'll see. [Scene: Monica and Chandler’s new apartment, Chandler is putting something away under the sink.] Chandler: OK, I'm officially unpacked. Thanks for helping me man. (Turns around and sees that Joey isn't there.) Joe? (Hears giggling coming from a box) Well, I guess Joey went home. Oh and look, there's still one box that I have to unpack. (Hears the giggling again) Joey: (jumps out of the box) I Gotcha!! Chandler: (pretending) Oh my God! You-almost-gave-me-a-heart-attack. Joey: Boy, it was so hard not to laugh, I tell ya. Hey, hey, the place looks great! Chandler: Yeah, not bad right? You know what, Monica’s gonna be working late, so I'm gonna make this place spotless. You know what else I'm gonna do, know what else I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go downstairs, I'm gonna get her some flowers. Now who wouldn't wanna live with me? Joey: (raises his hand) I don't! No, I wanna live with the super-hot Australian dancer. Chandler: Yeah, now how's that going though? Are you okay with the not-flirting thing? Joey: Yeah. Well, so far yeah. But it's tough you know? I got all this built up flirting energy and I don't know how to get rid of it. (Gives Chandler the "Joey-love," look.) How you doin? [Scene Joey and Janine’s new apartment, Janine is there. Joey walks in to see Janine bent over, stretching.] Joey: (voice cracking) Ohhhh man Janine: Sorry, there's just more room out here. Joey: No-no-no-no-no, it's-it's uh, you just uh, uh reminded me that uh, I need to do my stretches too. (Starts to stretch, groans painfully) Janine: (touches his waist) Why don't you try to do- Joey: (jumps up and yells) Janine: What's wrong? Joey: Uh-uh nothing. I-I-I-I didn't want you to touch me cause I'm -I'm all sweaty from the workout. I better hit the shower. (Goes into the bathroom and comes back out quickly) Oh my God! Janine: Oh, sorry about that stuff hanging in there. It's just my thongs are too delicate for the dryer. (Joey laughs nervously and goes to his bedroom.) [Scene, The Park, Rachel is running and Phoebe is hiding behind a tree.] Phoebe: (jumps in front of Rachel) Hi! Oh yeah, uh-huh, it's me. I saw you grab your running shoes this morning and sneak out. You lied so you could run by yourself. Rachel: No, no Phoebe no, I was...no. You know what, I was, I was actually just checking to, see, if I could run. And I can! Phoebe: Please Rachel, I am not an idiot. (Runs off) Rachel: No, wait Phoebe. [Scene, Monica and Chandler’s, Chandler is there. Everything is out of its place and Chandler's cleaning.] Ross: (enters) Wow, couples who live together do start to look alike. So, Mondler...uh, what uh, what ‘cha doin? Chandler: What does it look like I'm doing? I am cleaning! Ross: Did you get Monica's authorization to move all of her stuff? Chandler: Authorization? I don't need that. I'm gonna put everything back. Ross: Put it back exactly where you found it? Chandler: Yes I'm gonna put it back (Mocking Ross) exactly where I found it. Ross: ‘Kay, first of all, this attitude is not helping. Chandler: She's not gonna care if I put her stuff back in the same stupid place. Ross: Whoa, hello, did you just meet Monica? Chandler: She is gonna recognize that I did a nice thing and-and, appreciate it. Ross: Hmm -you know, actually this'll work out well. Cause when you have to move back in with Joey, Joey's hot new roommate can come and live with me. Chandler: I see, I see, y-y-you're trying to freak me out. Ross: Look Chandler, Monica is really weird about this kind stuff all right. Believe me, I lived with her for 16 years. She is going to freak…out. Oh my God, she's going to sit on you. Chandler: No, she's not okay? And I'll prove it to you. I'm gonna call her right now. (Picks up the phone and wipes it off) Phone's done ehh. Monica: (on phone) Hi! Chandler: Hey Mon, how's it going? Monica: Terrible. If-if I want something done right, I have to do it myself. Other people just wreck stuff. I really think I might kill someone tonight. Chandler: Oh come on, come on, it can't be that bad. Monica: It's worse. The only thing that's getting me through is knowing that I'm gonna be seeing you soon. I think I may even try to get out of here early. Chandler: No! No-no-no-no-no-no. It sounds like they really need you down there. Monica:  Well, are you just hanging out with Ross? Chandler: It's, all good! Okay bye-bye Mon! (To Ross) She's-she's gonna kill me. Ross: Yeah, the phone was facing the other way. (Chandler fixes it and a picture frame off the table.) And that goes back up there. Commercial Break [Scene: Monica and Chandler’s, continued from earlier.] Chandler: We should start with the big stuff. Y’know? That'll be the easiest. Uh, let's start with the couch. (He picks up one end and Ross doesn't help) I got it. (He moves it back to where he thinks it goes.) Ross: Yeah that-that, doesn't look right. Chandler: What are you talking about? The couch is perfectly in line with the carpet. And then I can just walk over here and casually just put my feet right up on the...(Tries to rest his feet on the coffee table but they won't reach) OK, OK, here's what we do, we just uh, move the couch closer to the coffee table. Ross: Whoa, whoa, but then the back of the couch won't line up with he back of the carpet. Chandler: OK well here, we'll just move the coffee table closer to the couch. Ross: Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, but then the coffee table won't be centered in the seating area. Chandler: Yes, but the coffee table doesn't match the...blahebdmsdlkhdyslkd;btyds...Rooosss!!!! Joey: (entering) Look, what am I gonna do? I'm not flirting but still, I'm drawing her to me like - like a moth to a flame! (Tries to put his feet on the coffee table...they won't reach and looks around.) What the hell's going on over here?!?!? (Points to Chandler) Monica's gonna kill you! Look I need your help, I have to do something to-to repel this woman! Wait a minute, wait a minute, you guys repel women all the time. Ross: Hey, I've been married 3 times (Chandler gives him a round of mock applause.) Joey: No-no-no I've seen it happen, you-you get a rapport going with a woman but somehow you manage to kill it. What's your secret? Ross: Look, we do not repel women OK? That is completely untrue. ……