介绍:
with by Westlife
在得知好基友要结婚之后，男主暗里不爽独自大力吐槽爱情和婚姻——
Benedict: 我真不懂一个人明明 知道沉迷在恋爱里是一件多么愚蠢的事，可是在讥笑他人的浅薄无聊以后，偏偏会自己打自己的耳光，照样跟人家闹起恋爱来；克劳狄奥就是这种人。从前我认识他的时候， 战鼓和军笛是他的唯一的音乐；现在他却宁愿听小鼓和洞箫了。从前他会跑十哩路去看一身好甲胃；现在他却会接连十个晚上不睡觉，为了设计一身新的紧身衣的式样。从前他说起话来，总是直捷爽快，像个老老实实的军人；现在他却变成了个老学究，满嘴都是些希奇古怪的话儿。我会不会眼看自己也变得像他一样呢？我不知道；我想不至于。我不敢说爱情不会叫我变成一个牡蛎；可是我可以发誓，在它没有把我变成牡蛎以前，它一定不能叫我变成这样一个傻瓜。好看的女人，聪明的女人，贤惠的女人，我都碰见过，可是我还是个原来的我；除非在一个女人身上能够集合一切女人的优点，否则没有
一个女人会中我的意的。她一定要有钱，这是不用说的；她必须聪明，不然我就不要；她必须贤惠，不然我也不敢领教；她必须美貌，不然我看也不要看她；她必须温柔，否则不要叫她走近我的身；她必须有高贵的人品，否则我不愿花十先令把她买下来；她必须会讲话，精音乐，而且她的头发必须是天然的颜色。哦亲王跟咱们这位多情种子来啦！让我到凉亭里去躲他一躲。（退后。）
Don Pedro, Claudio, and Leonato及众乐工随上。（唱完歌后三人开始大谈女主如何倾慕男主...躲在隔壁的男主为了偷听各种悲剧，错饮有烟头的饮料又打翻油漆==）
Benedict: (走出来)This can be no trick！the conference was sadly borne. They have the truth of this from Hero. They seem to pity the lady: it seems her affections have their full bent. Love me!why, it must be requited. I hear how I am censured:they say I will bear myself proudly, if I perceive the love come from her; they say too that she will rather die than give any sign of affection. I did never think to marry: I must not seem proud: happy are they that hear their detractions and can put them to mending. They say the lady is fair; ’tis a truth, I can bear them witness; and virtuous; ‘tis so, I cannot reprove it; and wise, but for loving me; by my troth, it is no addition to her wit, nor no great argument of her folly, for I will be horribly in love with her. I may chance have some odd quirks and remnants of wit broken on me,because I have railed so long against marriage: but doth not the appetite alter? a man loves the meat in his youth that he cannot endure in his age.Shall quips and sentences and these paper bullets of the brain awe a man from the career of his humour?No, the world must be peopled. When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married. Here comes Beatrice. By this day!she‘s a fair lady: I do spy some marks of love in her..
Beatrice:Against my will I am sent to bid you come in to dinner.
Benedict:Fair Beatrice, I thank you for your pains.
Beatrice:I took no more pains for those thanks than you takevpains to thank me: if it had been painful, I wouldvnot have come.
Benedict:You take pleasure then in the message?
Beatrice:Yea, just so much as you may take upon a knife&`&s point and choke a daw withal. You have no stomach,signior: fare you well.(Exit)
Benedict:Ha! &`&Against my will I am sent to bid you come in to dinner;&`& there&`&s a double meaning in that &`&I took no more pains for those thanks than you took pains to thank me.&`& that&`&s as much as to say, Any pains that I take for you is as easy as thanks. If I do not take pity of her, I am a villain; if I do not love her, I am a fool. I will go,get her picture.
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